LOIS LANE #028 (1961)
by unknown & John Forte
Cover by Curt Swan
Different sources give either Jerry Siegel or Henry Boltinoff as the writer, but the artist is unmistakably John Forte of Legion fame.
Two Daily Planet employees we’ve never heard of are getting married, and their colleagues are collecting enough money for a wedding gift.
Until Clark Kent screws it up.
Lois rightfully chews him over this. It’s not like he needed to display some amazing speed, or even catch every single dollar bill! He just had too look like he was trying!
Even his “I’m busy” line sounds unbelievably pathetic in this context.
All of this just to change into Superman and show off. The fact that he’s thinking about Clark as if the two were different people is kind of disturbing.
But then we cut to Lex Luthor in one of the most glorious moments of the Silver Age.
Lex Luthor just made a time machine WITH ORANGE JUICE CANS AND A FLASHLIGHT.
No time to dwell on that, because Superman was just sent to 2961!
You know, the time where the Legion of Super-Heroes lives.
The team that Superman joined when he was Superboy.
The team he was on for years.
Nope! Apparently it doesn’t ring a bell!
I know this is a Lois Lane comic, but… this was published in October 1961.
That’s one month after Superboy 93 and one month before Adventure Comics 293, both of which featured the Legion!
Also: if Jerry Siegel really did write this Lois Lane story… he also wrote both Superboy 93 and Adventure Comics 293.
John Forte would not start his run on the Legion until Adventure Comics 300 in September 1962… in yet another story by Jerry Siegel.
Superman’s weird amnesia continues, as apparently he can’t believe that other people with super-powers exist.
This is 2 years after Supergirl was introduced, by the way.
This girl really looks like Lois Lane, and her name is… ehm… Lois 4XR.
And no, she’s not a robot. That’s just how names work in the 30th century, apparently.
Superman thinks this proves that she’s a descendant of Lois and that she has powers because she’s also HIS descendant… but no, everyone in the 30th century has the same powers.
And everyone wears the same costume.
How did that happen? Well, a planetoid fell on Metropolis. (!!!)
That is one impressive planetary ring, to survive the crash.
Despite the fact that Lois 4XR just explained why she has superpowers, Superman still can’t get his head around the fact that people can get powers WITHOUT his Kryptonian genes.
I can believe she is a descendant of both Lois and Superman, though. She has both her lack of brains and his awfulness.
Despite the fact that both Superman and Lois 4XR presumably have had powers for roughly the same amount of time, she’s incredibly incompetent at using them.
She’s flying too fast to be stopped, and she’s accelerating due to “the momentum of interplanetary space”. Whatever THAT means.
Superman is able to catch her by assembling together so many asteroids that they form a small planetoid, whose gravity slows her down.
So he’s fast enough to do THAT but not enough catch up!?
The 1960s sexism of the story is just too much to ignore.
I mean Lois 4XR is way, waaaay worse than Silver Age Lois Lane.
Yeah, sure, newspapers are still pretty much intact 1000 years in the future, after being thrown into space by a gigantic explosion. Why not at this point.
That’s all that Superman wanted to know about this future. Since he can time travel on his own, at will, he could simply go back a little more and check, but he’s just too lazy to do it.
And as you might have guessed… the newspaper proves absolutely nothing.
By this point it’s clear that there are never any news on the Daily Planet that don’t involve Superman. I fully expect to see “SUPERMAN BREATHES LOCAL AIR” on the front page.
Historical significance: -5/10
Yes this is the first negative score in this category. I’ve decided it applies to stories that actively contradict the existing canon for no reason.
Silver Age-ness: 11/10
This would’ve been a very easy 10/10 without the Lex Luthor homemade time machine. That’s what really pushes this beyond the impossible.
Does it stand the test of time? -15/10
Negative scores are reserved only for stories with negative or harmful messages, and it’s pretty telling that this has only applied to Lois Lane stories so far.
Stupid Lois Lane moment
Nothing by Lois herself, as she barely appears, but man does her descendant pick up the slack!
A thousand years in the future, you say?
Do I really need to say what is wrong with this version of the 30th century?