ACTION COMICS #299(1963)
by Leo Dorfman and Jim Mooney
Cover by Curt Swan
When we last left Supergirl, she had to deal with a bunch of Kryptonian criminals released from the Phantom Zone. Now she goes back to Kandor to reveal to the authorities that Lesla-Lar was killed after she escaped the city.
I continue to be surprised by how easy it is for Superman to send people to Kandor, or from people to the bottle city to grow to normal size. How Kandor still a problem!?
Still, good continuity: I expected the comic to completely forget about Lesla-Lar (the previous issue certainly did!).
Supergirl is a huge celebrity in Kandor, to the point that there’s an entire parade of her fans!
Supergirl is also the judge to find actors on a movie about Superman’s origin.
Why her!? Supergirl has never met Superman’s parents: she was born AFTER the planet exploded!
Not that she needs any particular skill to judge them, though. These actors suck at their job.
Supergirl’s entire attitude about this movie is basically “I don’t have time for this s#it”, and for once I agree 100%. She has more important things to do!!!
Silver Age Superman, on the other hand, never misses an opportunity to be worshipped.
After Supergirl returns, she goes to her orphanage in her civilian identity (by this time she’s been adopted and no longer lives at the orphanage).
It’s basically for a publicity stunt to push people to adopt the orphans.
I know this comic’s heart is in a good place, but doesn’t this put A TON of expectations on the orphans? As in, “unless you’re good enough to be an astronaut you won’t be good enough to be adopted”? Also, I sure hope people don’t adopt kids just because they wish them to become celebrities one day.
Apparently the event is a great success, and the orphanage asks Linda to stick around for a few days to help out. Next day, someone drops a literal Superbaby at the orphanage.
And she soon confirms that this child is from Krypton as well.
Her first priority is to teach “Superbaby” to keep his powers a secret, because she’s afraid some evildoer might trick him into committing crimes.
I suppose that’s legit, but I would more concerned about the possibility of him setting the planet on fire.
There’s also a bit with her singing a Kryptonian lullaby, which is kind of cute.
Although either Superbaby is a HUGE toddler or Supergirl is much shorter than I thought.
This is such a repeat of Superman’s origin that the Kents show up to adopt the baby, planning to name him Clark.
Also: the comic really, REALLY wants to make it clear that they are repeating Superman’s origin story.
You might think this has something to do with those wax figures we saw earlier, but no, that was just a red herring.
But these are not your typical Ma and Pa Kent. Because they have a new lesson to teach young Superman: “fight the police!”.
This is too weird for Supergirl, who decides to investigate in a more normal place: a replica of Krypton entirely populated by robot doubles.
Yes, Superman has apparently built an exact replica of the entire planet, populated by duplicates of the original Kryptonians who look, talk and presumably think like the originals.
Including Supergirl’s dead parents.
I swear a psychiatrist would have a field day with ANY member of Superman’s family.
Supergirl takes the opportunity to admire “the gods of ancient Krypton”.
Note the reference to Lyla Lerrol, a Kryptonian actress that Superman fell in love during a rather famous Silver Age story (Superman #141).
Since she was an actress on Krypton before it exploded, it would make sense if Supergirl knew about her. But it’s clear from her thoughts that she knows it because Superman told her about Lyla.
Which means Superman described details of a woman he thought was hot… to his teenage cousin.
We also learn that Kryptonians celebrate rocket scientists (unsurprising considering Jor-El) and that alien parades are rather boring.
This as all that Supergirl needed to uncover the mystery of Superbaby, and she leaves.
I still can’t believe she’s taking meeting copies of her parents so nonchalantly.
Back on Earth, the Kents miiiight be getting a little overboard.
As is Supergirl, who threatens to KILL THEM WITH A GRENADE.
Or not: they turn out to be Kryptonian actors. The same ones we met before, even.
And why did they do this? Because they really, REALLY wanted a part in that movie!!!
They even hire a child actor to play Superbaby who, amusingly, points out that having kids speak like cavemen is moronic.
Mind the timeline: they decide this plan between Supergirl working at the orphanage and finding Superbaby. Which means that they:
1) agreed to do this
2) hired the child actor
3) wrote the script
4) prepared their disguises
5) planted the evidence
6) rented a car
7) rented A FARM
8) and presumably practiced…
ALL IN ONE DAY!!!
As for why they were playing with grenades… it was just to mess with Supergirl.
The winter clothes weren’t the only clue: Kryptonians drive on the left side of the road.
Which was supposedly shown in an earlier scene:
I dare anyone to look at that panel and figure out that the car is driving on the left side. The road looks barely wider than the car, how are we supposed to notice!?
Also: Kandor is the first place you think of when you see a car driving on the left side? I know you’re from Krypton, but wouldn’t it be a little more plausible that they’re from the UK?
Naturally, this means that the actors get their roles.
It’s a good thing that the technology to escape Kandor is only used for important things, right?
Historical significance: 0/10
I don’t know if we’ll see the android planet again, but since the concept didn’t originate from this issue it doesn’t contribute to anything.
I’m really curious to see if there are any other references to Kryptonians driving on the left side of the road. I was under the impression that they only drove flying cars!
Silver Age-ness: 8/10
In terms of silliness, it could’ve been worse: I was fully anticipating time travel shenanigans. But in terms of doing things without taking consequences into consideration (from the android planet to how easy it is to leave Kandor)… it’s incredibly Silver Age.
Does it stand the test of time? 2/10
This is a mess. I’m willing to grant a couple of points because there’s at least an attempt to present the clues for the eventual resolution and for the awareness of the stupidity of the “Silver Age DC babies talk like cavemen) cliché.