Doom Patrol #98 (1965)
by Arnold Drake & Bruno Premiani
This is one of the most memorable stories of the original Doom Patrol.
We begin with four mysterious figures planning the start of World War III.
Chief discovers this on the last day: there’s only ONE MINUTE before the bombs go off.
Which means THE ENTIRE STORY is going to take place in just a minute. Even if it’s just 8 pages, that’s an insane pace!
Surprisingly for the time, the bad guys are not the Soviet Union: they’re tricked exactly like the United States into attacking each other.
Also note that, according to the clock, Chief is able to say all these words in FIVE SECONDS.
This is the first story that showcases Negative Man, and holy crap is he a threat: he’s able to single-handedly take out an entire Russian base!
IN THREE SECONDS!!!
And just TWO SECONDS LATER he finds a bomb planted by the bad guys, which is supposed to make the Russian think that the Americans have attacked.
He can’t just blow it up, instead needing to force it out of out of a well by boiling water.
Again, Chief is able to give him all these instructions in TWO SECONDS.
The second target is near an American submarine, which he manages to reach with little problem.
And after going through various ships at the bottom of the ocean, he’s able to find and destroy the second bomb. We’re at the halfway point of the story here, with 35 seconds to spare.
But he wastes a full 10 seconds locating the third bomb.
Five seconds later he destroys the third bomb, by displaying a level of super-strength I don’t think he will ever show again.
If this story was entirely seen from the point of view of Negative Man I wouldn’t have a problem, since he’s fast enough to fly from “a midwestern area of the US” to Siberia in less than a second… but how are these people able to keep up with the commentary???
I mean, would they have even enough time to sing about this?
Aaaaaand then the fourth bomb explodes.
Yep. We just started World War III.
ONE SECOND LATER, Chief contacts the President of the United States.
Who is rather clearly Lyndon B. Johnson.
And I’m generous when I say one second!!!
The explosion was at 45 seconds, and “5 seconds later” the President has already tried to call the Russians.
This is important because Negative Man can only exist outside of Larry’s body for 60 seconds, and he only has 10 seconds to spare.
Negative Man then needs the following 5 seconds to find what happened to the line.
And to use HIMSELF to repair the line, allowing the President to talk to the Russian premier.
Who, for historical context, would have been Leonid Brezhnev.
FOUR SECONDS LATER, the Russian premier calls off the attack.
So to recap, these are the events of the story:
0 seconds: Larry releases Negative Man
5 seconds: Negative Man arrives in Russia
8 seconds: he destroys a Russian base
10 seconds: he finds the first bomb
12 seconds: he destroys the first bomb
20 seconds: he finds the American submarine
25 seconds: he destroys the second bomb
35 seconds: he finds the third bomb
40 seconds: he destroys the third bomb
41 seconds: he arrives in Siberia
45 seconds: the fourth bomb explodes
46 seconds: Chief speaks to LBJ
50 seconds: LBJ discovers the line is broken
55 seconds: Negative Man repairs the line, allowing LBJ to talk to Brezhnev
59 seconds: Brezhnev calls of a nuclear attack
60 seconds: Negative Man returns to Larry
Historical significance: 0/10
Never referenced.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Only in the Silver Age you could possibly accept people narrating this entire thing.
Does it stand the test of time? 9/10
I was waiting to get to this one because out of all the Silver Age stories of the Doom Patrol it’s easily the one I remember the most vividly. Mostly because it’s very short and keeps you at the edge of your seat the entire time.
Having the rest of the Doom Patrol comment on every single moment is the only part that doesn’t hold up. Just remove the commentary and just have Negative Man thinking about what’s happening, remove the need for the phone call, and almost everything else holds up.