SUPERBOY 200 (1974)
by Cary Bates & Dave Cockrum
cover by Nick Cardy
Not a dream, a hoax or an imaginary story: the first Legion wedding!
Save the date. That is a Thursday, by the way.
We begin with Bouncing Boy randomly losing his powers. It’s not the first time, but we will never be told WHY he lost them now!
He’s sad because this means that he will have to leave the Legion, although he will miss Duo Damsel the most for rather obvious reasons.
He does come up with an idea on how to save their relationship. Which I guess might’ve been a surprise if they didn’t spoil it both on the cover and on the first page!
Duo Damsel doesn’t really care that he’s lost his powers, and she’s more than happy to marry him.
She then has to deal with an emergency (some space birds have escaped from a zoo), but she discovers that she can’t use her powers either.
Which is pretty convenient for both, because now she has two reasons to leave the Legion: this is still set at the time when members could not marry unless they resigned.
While most of the Legionnaires are busy congratulating the couple…
…Brainiac 5 tries to figure out why Duo Damsel can’t use her powers.
By using his sensors on her crotch, according to the artwork.
Apparently this is only HALF of Duo Damsel and she has forgotten what happened to the other half. Luckily Brainiac 5 has a mind probe ready for use.
Turns out the other body was killed by a space dragon (???) but Duo Damsel has forgotten everything.
But don’t be sad, everything’s going to be fine: she doesn’t need a spare body now that she’s going to be a “devoted wife”. (???)
Moving on to the wedding: hilariously it’s going to be celebrated on Mars because Saturn was booked.
is watching over the Legion, but that subplot will have to wait.
For the moment enjoy the new Shadow Lass costume, yet another classic that is here to stay.
The wedding is going to take place on Nix Olympica (better known today as Olympus Mons, a mind-boggingly colossal volcano on Mars).
And so we move to the highlight of the issue: a two-page Cockrum spread that shows EVERYBODY connected to the Legion!
Except Jimmy Olsen and Proty II, because there is SOME justice.
You know that I have to break down some details.
We have a mixture of Legionnaires, Subs and even the Wanderers and the Heroes of Lallor.
The canonical couples share a moment: Dream Girl / Star Boy in the detail above, plus Timber Wolf / Light Lass (in the first appearance of her new costume) and Shrinking Violet / Duplicate Boy in the one here below.
Also Supergirl in her new hotpants costume being unusually flirty with Brainiac 5.
In the upper right corner we have more subs and couples, plus cameos by the Tornado Twins, Rond Vidar and Insect Queen.
And we even have a sort of easter egg in the form of Martian Manhunter! Presumably because the wedding is taking place on Mars, although I wonder if this is a time-traveling M.M. from the 20th century or if he’s STILL alive in the 30th.
And at the center we have the newlyweds, with Saturn Girl and Lightning Lad (which will be the next couple to tie the knot) as maid of honor and best man.
As well as Phantom Girl, who is there because… I have no idea.
But this is still a superhero comic, so SOMETHING has to happen.
And naturally it wouldn’t be a superhero wedding without a supervillain crashing the party!
Brainiac 5 confirms that Duo Damsel will die if she doesn’t go with Starfinger, so the Legion reluctantly lets her go.
Bouncing Boy is obviously against this idea, but Brainiac 5 shuts him up with the Vulcan nerve pinch a nerve-press.
Superboy tries to follow Starfinger, but he has red solar radiation at his fingertips (literally), so that’s not going to work.
Well okay, but you have TWENTY-THREE Legionnaires and almost as many super-hero guest-stars, so Superboy should now gather all their forces to try a second time.
Or he could just ask the three nearest ones, sure, that’ll be enough.
Thankfully Saturn Girl can track Duo Damsel’s brain waves because Brainiac 5 made a recording of them. (???)
Turns out Starfinger poisoned both Duo Damsels when he captured one of their bodies, and his plan is to duplicate her duplication powers in order to make endless copies of himself!
(Note that everbody on her planet has the same power, so he could’ve kidnapped anyone else from Cargg)
AND IT WORKS.
Or not.
Well that was necessary.
At least Duo Damsel is fine!
Superboy returns to active membership. I am considering Duo Damsel as a reserve, since she kept her powers, with Bouncing Boy as a honorary member because he lost them (he will eventually regain them).
That leaves the Legion down one member from the maximum allowed of 25, but you know it won’t last for long.
Historical significance: 10/10
This culminates the personal growth of Bouncing Boy and Duo Damsel, although she will get even more character development later on. It’s also the end of their active membership: both will return to the active roster from time to time, but until the reboot they’ll almost be supporting characters.
Their relationship is one of the most solid and iconic ones in the team’s history.
Silver Age-ness: 4/10
Starfinger is a rather goofy villain, and it’s truly unbelievable that he can get away with his plan when he crashes a party with nearly 50 superheroes!
Does it stand the test of time? 7/10
This is more of a celebration of Legion lore than anything else. A casual fan wouldn’t find much enjoyment (other than the gorgeous artwork), but for a Legion fan this is incredibly satisfying.
Still… the Starfinger plot really comes out of nowhere and hurts the story, as well as the missing opportunity of putting the enormous cast to good use.
We are legion
24 Legionnaires
3 reserve members: Kid Psycho, Insect Queen, Duo Damsel
4 honorary members: Elastic Lad, Pete Ross, Rond Vidar, Bouncing Boy
1 resigned member: Command Kid
1 expelled member: Nemesis Kid
2 deceased members: Dynamo Boy, Ferro Lad
How much Legion is too much?
The total number of characters who have been members is 35.
Bonus: Believe it or not, in 1996 this was the subject of a song!
You can hear “The Wedding of Bouncing Boy” by Yoyodyne here:
Enjoy the full lyrics:
Matter-Eater Lad was finally glad after shedding that 13 pounds
and Duo Damsel was getting hard to handle making the banquet table rounds
she’d been in quite a whirl since she’d been Triplicate Girl
and she needed a brand new toy
so she loaded up her dad, and everything she had
she kicked her hips at Ultra Boy and Lightning Lad
As Fire Boy’s breath was breathing down her neck
she seemed so cautious and coy
at the wedding of Bouncing Boy
Chemical King was passing round a ring and Phantom Girl took a dose
she couldn’t really vanish do she started speaking Spanish
as she phased right through the wall to make a toast
she’d been lost since she got rid of the invisible kid
and she had an eye for other Legion boys
but Duo Damsel seemed to be living out her dreams
she was two babes alive flirting with Brainiac Five
the Rabbi had to laugh as she split herself in half
to dance with Chameleon Boy
at the wedding of Bouncing Boy
In came Kid Flash, complaining ’bout a rash
he’d picked up vibrating round the world
and we all had to wonder why he wasn’t six feet under
after stealing Superboy’s girl
but the Legion rules said once that you were wed
you found another way to be employed
but they surely must have known as super powers go
bouncing round and splitting up were not that much to show
the things that they did to the Chlorophyll Kid
all must have seemed like a ploy
at the wedding of Bouncing Boy