JIMMY OLSEN 115 (1968)
“Survival of the Fittest!” by Leo Dorfman & Pete Costanza
“The Kid Who Unmasked Superman!” by Dave Wood & Pete Costanza
cover by Neal Adams
Another relatively famous cover by the great Neal Adams.
We begin with Jimmy coming across “Captain Bane”.
Who is, of course, some kind of supervillain. With a name like that…
He uses his powers to steal a ship for his treasure.
Or at least he tries to, because Aquaman shows up to save the ship… with puffer-fish.
Sounds legit.
Then Captain Bane summons a whale to eat Jimmy. (!!!)
In addition to Jimmy, the whale has also swallowed a “six-sided stone”.
And that’s how Jimmy gets Aquaman’s powers! AGAIN.
Also the whale turns out to be the biblical one. (WTF!?)
Jimmy uses his aqua-powers to save some more ships. When Aquaman and Superman show up… just look:
I’m not too familiar with Silver Age Aquaman so I have no idea of what Superman is talking about (there’s no footnote), but HOLY CRAP.
THE COVER WASN’T LYING.
Jimmy survives by LICKING SUPERMAN’S FOOTPRINTS. What the heck!?!?
Aaaand Aquaman’s dead.
Superman names Jimmy the new King Of The Sea, and JIMMY IS 100% OKAY WITH THIS.
But that’s not all! “Superman” turns out to be Captain Bane, who is actually Proteus.
Sure, he might’ve killed Aquaman and all the Titanic passengers, but on the other hand he’s about to kill Jimmy Olsen.
Or not, because the real Superman has to show up and spoil everything.
Also it turns out that Aquaman doesn’t really die when he’s out of the water for one hour.
Pretty sure this is NOT what happens in his series.
Well at least that’s not Kryptonite water.
On to the second story: someone who is even more of a stalker than Lois Lane and Lana Lang.
Who would’ve thought that a kid would join the Jimmy Olsen Fan Club for any reason other than worship Jimmy.
Planning to become Superman’s best friend by blackmailing him is an interesting premise.
So what’s his plan to find out Superman’s identity?
First step: give him a helmet as a gift.
Second: sneak into an exhibition that has some of Superman’s hair, and steal it.
Just in case you had doubts that this was a supervillain-in-training.
Third step: take a picture of a movie showing Superman’s footprint.
Well at least he’s not licking the footprint, so he’s already better than Jimmy.
Believe it or not, the fact that the kid’s father just asked him to go to the store is a plot point.
Step four: work as a shoe-shine boy and randomly come across Superman’s secret identity.
Now that he’s targeted Clark Kent, he gets to work on the ear clue.
And he fails.
Next he follows him to the bathroom and discovers that *gasp* Clark Kent is bald!
I have to admit, the clue that made Superman realize that the kid was doing something shady is actually kind of clever.
And finally: remember how I told you that the dad’s request to go to the store was a plot point?
I didn’t say it was a GOOD plot point.
Historical significance: 0/10
So we’re not going to acknowledge that whole “Proteus was behind the Titanic sinking” thing ever again, okay? Okay.
Silver Age-ness
First story: 10/10
Proteus just randomly shows up.
Second story: 5/10
Perfectly average for the times.
Does it stand the test of time?
First story: -5/10
Superman kills Aquaman and Jimmy doesn’t even wonder if MAYBE this is not Superman!!!
Second story: 5/10
A harmless waste of time, but at least there’s an attempt to show characters behaving logically. It doesn’t always succeed, but hey, baby steps.
Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
First story: Jimmy being okay with Superman murdering Aquaman. WTF!?!?
Second story: he barely appears, but I’m still counting the fact that he doesn’t notice AT ALL that the latest member of his fan club is a stalker.