Dazzler begins a new era: multiple writers will rotate, taking a shot at revitalizing the series.
Will it be successful? Well it only last until issue #42, so…
Dazzler #29 (1983)
by Jim Shooter & Frank Springer
cover by Bill Sienkiewicz
That is THE best cover this series will ever get.
I’m not talking about the cover of the comic book, which has an awful background effect.
I’m talking about the record itself. It’s so good I would gladly buy the album, and I don’t even know what kind of music Dazzler plays!
We kick things into high gear with Dazzler suddenly becoming THE biggest star in entertainment.
That’s because none of that actually happened: it was just Dazzler daydreaming.
Also Frank Springer knows EXACTLY what kind of comic he wants to draw.
Dazzler being able to stare at the Sun without hurting her eyes is a neat idea, although I wonder if that might have affected her brain.
Dazzler, you power is turning into a light show. Your sister’s power is to KILL ANYHING, so maaaaaybe it’s not exactly the same?
Okay, at this point I’m calling it: Dazzler is a terrible sister!!!
While she did care about her when she was hiding from the law, Dazzler has consistently shown little interest and empathy in her problems.
Her sister just told her “I hate what I am” and her response was basically “whatever, you’ll figure it out”? COME ON!!!
Also notice that they’re staying at the mansion of her sister’s father, despite the fact that (as we’re told in a recap of previous issues) he used to be a drunk who beat up their mother.
But now that he’s VERY rich and can get Dazzler in contact with superstar Roman Nekoboh, who cares?
Dazzler is definitely getting famous because of her musical talents.
Speaking of Roman, it’s about time we meet him. And he’s, uhm… he’s something.
Roman is a womanizing has-been celebrity that is completely broke with a colossal ego.
Basically he’s just. The. Worst.
Jim Shooter is clearly trying for comedy here. Unfortunately, as anyone who’s had the misfortune of reading Secret Wars II knows, Shooter is just TERRIBLE at comedy.
Roman decides the way to revitalize his career is to hit on Dazzler.
Roman tries to impress Dazzler with his money (despite the fact he’s broke) and his fame (despite the fact he’s not getting any work).
The reason why Roman is kind of important is that he’s almost entirely the only reason for Dazzler’s upcoming movie career.
You’re not exactly surprised that Dazzler completely falls for his trick, right?
And that’s when Roman’s private jet is targeted by a fighter plane!!!
Which Dazzler destroys with a single blast after absorbing some music.
As if that wasn’t enough of a cliffhanger… Dazzler’s going to land the plane.
The story is kind of short, so to pad it there’s a couple of pinups by Butch Guice.
Just in case you were wondering why anyone was still buying this book.
Dazzler #30 (1984)
by Ken McDonald & Frank Springer
cover by Bill Sienkiewicz
That is possibly the most 80s cover ever.
This was published during the famous / infamous “Assistant Editors’ Month”, which is exactly what it sounds like: a month where all books were edited by the assistants.
That resulted in some great stuff: the Alpha Flight all-white issue, the tearful “Kid Who Collects Spider-Man!” story, the time the Avengers were on the Letterman show (a story I will DEFINITELY review some day), and the Trial of Reed Richards on Fantastic Four.
But it also resulted in some goofy stuff, like the issue of Marvel Team-Up where Aunt May becomes a herald of Galactus, or the Spider-Man issue entirely drawn by Fred Hembeck.
Let’s see what kind of story Dazzler gets. She begins being very competent, so you already know something’s wrong.
Roman is just going to stay unsufferable throughout all of his appearances, isn’t it?
I do find it funny that Dazzler has to be told that regular people don’t get shot at while they’re on a plane. Also, her half-sister’s father might not be an alcoholic anymore but he’s still scummy.
I’m not against Dazzler dropping her agent, though. He was fine at the beginning, until he got his “being sexually harassed is part of the job” turn.
So after learning he’s still a jackass, Dazzler leaves her emotionally fragile sister in his hands.
And that’s the end of her sister’s plot! She won’t be seen again for another TWENTY-FIVE YEARS.
And that’s where the “Assistant Editors’ Month” connection comes from: editor Ralph Macchio appears in the story (!!!!) to give Dazzler a lift.
Dazzler is always simultaneously an A-list celebrity who draws huge crowds AND a Z-list that nobody recognizes.
Remember how in the previous issue a fighter plane was trying to murder Dazzler?
It was sent by the government because she’s THAT dangerous!!!
So basically the “Assistant Editors’ Month” is the most serious one.
Leave it to Ann Nocenti to be the only one to knock some sense into assistant editor Bob Harras.
Not that it works, mind you.
Dazzler ends up at the same comic book convention as Ralph Macchio, which is attacked by the army since they tracked Dazzler there.
They deploy a device that makes mutants lose control of their powers…
…but it turns out one of the soldiers is a mutant, who unwillingly transforms into a monster.
This results in, of course, a big dumb fight. Emphasis on DUMB.
So I think we can safely get this issue among the worst uses of the “Assistant Editors’ Month”, right?
Writer Ken McDonald has only TWO writing credits at Marvel: this one, and being the scripter of the first Iron Man 2020 story.
Dazzler #31 (1984)
by Jim Shooter & Frank Springer
cover by Bill Sienkiewicz
Okay, we’ve gone through all that nonsense so it’s time to find out what exactly Dazzler’s new run is supposed to be about.
Apparently a romance comic?
If you thought the previous issue meant that mutant discrimination was going to be addressed seriously… you haven’t been paying attention to these reviews, because Dazzler doesn’t even comment on the racist remarks of her new landlords.
Also apparently it was too hard to find stories for her when she was just a singer, so now she becomes an aerobics instructor.
We also see her original agent and Lance Steel for the last time.
This means Dazzler has, by this point, dismissed 100% of her supporting cast.
They’re replaced by the actor who has a crush on her. He’s so boring I’m not even bothering coming up with a nickname for him.
That’s what most of the issue is about: Dazzler going on dates with an actor who constantly gets hurt in his own stunts.
Didn’t expect HIM to play hard to get, honestly.
They decide to just go to the beach, during a thunderstorm so severe there’s a tsunami coming up.
Genuine question: are these two just dumb as rocks, or was “tsunami” a rarely used term in 1984?
And then the scene turns into an infodump about the guy’s very boring backstory.
She tries to convince him to leave before the place is destroyed, but NOW he’s into her.
We are through the looking glass, people: DAZZLER is the only one making sense.
And then DAZZLER FIGHTS A TSUNAMI AND WINS.
Surviving the storm teaches the guy he has something to live for, and he promises to meet Dazzler again.
So of course he never shows up again.
Dazzler significance: 4/10
This has SOME significance because it introduces Dazzler to acting, which is soon going to matter… but it’s not like this is fundamental reading.
Unfortunately we haven’t seen the last of Roman Nekoboh. His last name is “Hoboken” backwards, and I’ve seen suggestions he’s partially based on Frank Sinatra.
I don’t see the resemblance.
Silver Age-ness: 8/10
The army attacks a comic book convention to single out one mutant! Dazzler fights a tsunami!
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
What a trainwreck. Jim Shooter is a tremendous writer, but seriously: he can’t write comedy and it’s now apparent he can’t write romance.
We lost the previous status quo and the supporting cast, only to be replaced with the incredibly annoying Roman and little else. The complete dismissal of Dazzler’s sister storyline is particularly infuriating because it was ALMOST going somewhere.
Dazzler was never a good series to begin with, but now it’s just sad. 
Obligatory underwear shot: 34
I’m not counting the various swimsuit scenes because there’s at least a very flimsy plot reason for them. So surprisingly enough there’s only one occasion.
