Doom Patrol #104 (1966)
by Arnold Drake & Bruno Premiani
cover by Bob Brown
Welcome to one of the most tragic events of the Silver Age.
We begin with Elasti-Girl trying to have some fun with the other members of the Doom Patrol, starting with getting some light cancer from Negative Man.
With everybody busy with their own thing, she’s getting bored.
Until she’s kidnapped by some invisible force.
Remember when a couple of issues ago Chief called Negative Man the most powerful member of the team?
Even growing giant-size doesn’t help.
And the one responsible for her kidnapping is none other than our least favorite superhero.
Can you REALLY blame Robotman for wrecking his stuff?
Have you ever been so mad at someone that you REMOVE YOUR OWN HAND to beat them with it???
In fact, things are so tense that Robotman might even kill Mento.
Even if he stops, the Doom Patrol certainly won’t stand for this creep kidnapping one of their members!
Unless… ehm… unless she’s into it, I guess?
That’s kind of the point, Elasti-Girl… you didn’t exactly choose to see Mento.
At this point I’m wondering if Mento’s mental abilities are somehow at fault here.
Unless… she wants to become the NEW gold standard for dealing with Mento’s bulls##t.
Meanwhile the others vent their frustrations on some poor criminals.
Unfortunately Elasti-Girl is still upset with them.
There’s only two possible explanations for her behaviour:
1) she has suffered enough brain damage to appreciate Mento’s courtship
2) she’s angry at them for not allowing HER to beat him up first
Guess my favorite?
During their next mission, Elasti-Girl impresses everyone. Not that hard, considering she’s been pretty consistently the most versatile member of the team.
Not that this stops her from being mad at them. Elasti-Girl’s gonna girl like she’s written by a man.
That night, Mento asks her to marry him.
Considering the story STARTED with him kidnapping her, how is she going to react?
Yeah… I wish.
We have now reached the tragedy: she’s fully into Stockholm Syndrome mode now.
The next day, the Doom Patrol is called to deal with Killer Keller.
She gets inside the house by shrinking inside a newspaper. That’s not a bad plan, but that’s just wasting Negative Man’s power.
But I can’t defend Negative Man TOO much, because thanks to his words…
…she actually decides to marry Mento.
And then Negative Man decides he’s going to mess with the marriage.
Dude, I also think she’s making a mistake, but this is just asking for trouble.
Also: I never want to see Robotman wink ever again.
ESPECIALLY while asking someone to get nasty.
And how fast is this wedding??? The story doesn’t say how much time passes, but it sure feels like it’s the very next day!
And only ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING the guys figure out that they’re acting like a huge Mento.
Negative Man… you’re just TRYING to get on my nerves, aren’t you?
Elasti-Girl has had enough of their shenanigans, and intercepts the letter in a gorgeous panel.
The letter claims that Mento is marrying her only to force her to go back to acting.
This clears Mento’s name… well, from THIS prank, he’s still scum in my book… but more importantly, she reveals she doesn’t actually want to marry him.
We now cut to a live reaction from the public about the recent news.
Turns out that all she really wanted was for the rest of the team to demonstrate that they actually care about that. I’m sure everyone involved with, and invited to, the wedding doesn’t mind.
Historical significance: 6/10
Good thing we didn’t ACTUALLY go through with the worst marriage of the century!
Too bad things couldn’t end like this:
Wait, there’s a Part 2? Why, we’ve already had our happy ending!
Unfortunately the damage to Elasti-Girl’s psyche is done, and she’s still fixated on him.
Robotman… you’re infinitely better than Mento, but mutilating yourself to impress a girl is not much of an improvement.
Not really sure why SHE is sad.
Mento is out for revenge with a new look so hideous it might kill the Doom Patrol on sight.
I’m sure Elasti-Girl will definitely fall in love with you again once you MURDER HER FRIENDS, Mento!!!
But FINALLY Elasti-Girl is able to see what Mento truly is.
What SHOULD happen:
What ACTUALLY happens:
Not really how Robotman imagined being crushed by Elasti-Girl’s legs.
In fact, I think we can imagine HOW he hoped this would go.
But he honestly takes this better than I expected.
Now that his would-be wife is blind, how will Mento take this?
Like the worst human being, of course.
Well, okay, he’s not THAT bad: that wasn’t really Mento, it was Madame Rouge in disguise.
Elasti-Girl’s blindess lasts THREE PAGES.
Was it REALLY necessary for her to get naked to get eye surgery?
But then Robotman and Negative Man attack the REAL Mento, without stellar results…
…and also Elasti-Girl dumps Mento into the river.
That was great, girl! Only one thing would’ve made this moment better.
Too bad she’s immediately captured.
Chief actually figured out that whatever blinded Elasti-Girl wasn’t from Earth, and instructed the guys to use Mento to draw out the impostor… too bad he didn’t inform Elasti-Girl.
Madame Rouge will eventually be written as a psychotic sadist, and so far we haven’t seen much foreshadowing of that characterization.
Until she’s ready to CHOKE ELASTI-GIRL IN A PLASTIC BAG.
But the day is saved by the Legless Patrol, as both Chief with his high-tech wheelchair and Robotman wearing a log as a leg (???) come to her rescue.
The Brotherhood of Evil immediately retreats…
…and once they rescue Mento from the river, Elasti-Girl decides she’s going to marry him for real.
Because I guess the fact that he didn’t try to murder his friends is enough to overlook that he’s been a creepy stalker and a jackass since they’ve known each other.
As the cover promised, this is not a dream: Elasti-Girl marries Mento.
So I’m guessing it’s a nightmare.
Aside from noticing that the Teen Titans like they’re eight years old, you might also have spotted an unusual guest-star:
That was Super-Hip, whose real name is “Tadwallader Jutefruce” (REALLY)…
…who is the nephew of Bob Hope!!!
No, really: BOB HOPE had his own DC Comics series that lasted for EIGHTEEN YEARS (1950-1968), and “Super-Hip” originates there.
It’s important to note that while Bob Hope was very much a real person, his nephew is a completely fictional character.
And I’m pretty sure the only reason he has a cameo on the Doom Patrol is that he’s an Arnold Drake character.
And we finally end the issue with a sign of things to come: while Mento expects Elasti-Girl to quit super-heroing and being a housewife…
…the Doom Patrol is WAY ahead of most other DC comics, and she fully intends to keep her career.
So we have that aspect of the relationship to look forward to.
Although personally I would have preferred another direction.
Historical significance: 10/10
The marriage is of the utmost importance for ALL Doom Patrol members. But this is also the issue that fully integrates the Doom Patrol into the DC Universe, even more so than the previous crossover. It’s also the very first comic where Beast Boy shares a scene with the Teen Titans, althought they never interact.
Silver Age-ness: 3/10
Convenient blindness! Easily cured blindness!
Does it stand the test of time? 4/10
Okay, to be serious for a moment: I’m playing up my distaste for Mento for comedic effect… but not by much. Aside from the scene where they kiss, I can’t feel ANY chemistry between him and Elasti-Girl. Honestly, besides his money and the fact that he’s the only man she interacts with who still has a body, is not radioactive, and is not old enough to be her father… has he shown ANY redeeming qualities?
Sure he’s saved a few lives here and there, but only because he wanted to impress her… while being rude and even violent with her friends AND continuously pestering her at every opportunity.
Nothing wrong with a character falling into a bad or toxic relationship, but the story REQUIRES you to root for them to get together at least at SOME point… and I simply can’t.
It feels like they’re supposed to get together because they’re the only potential couple of “normies” that we see in the series. Which kind of goes opposite to what was supposed to be the whole point of the Doom Patrol, isn’t it?
Oh, well. At least we got this beauty out of it.
I am SO running that meme into the ground.
Times Robotman has been damaged: 19
BY HIMSELF when he removes the hand! It’s not shown to be detachable, so it counts.
And AGAIN by himself by removing his arm and SOMEHOW twisting it into a giant arm.
And AGAIN by Mento.
Which makes this the issue where he’s damaged the most… and I’m not even counting emotional damage!
Issues when Robotman is never damaged: 12