Eternals #15 (1977)
by Jack Kirby
We interrupt the Eternals to bring you a Hulk fight. AGAIN.
Both Ikaris and Sersi have trouble dealing with the Hulk robot.
Last time I wondered why Sersi couldn’t just defeat the robot by transmuting it into something, and credit where it’s due: she FINALLY does it.
Still doesn’t explain why she didn’t do this last time, instead of wasting time saving an invulnerable immortal from a slight fall, but still.
It still doesn’t work: the robot is able to resist the transformation because it has absorbed too much cosmic energy.
Sounds legit.
Come on Sersi, you’re not fooling anyone. You’re into this kind of stuff.
Or maybe not. First the talk about Makkari risking being crippled from a fall, now this… according to the previous issues the Eternals are supposed to be nearly invulnerable (and in fact that will be considered canonical), but I’m wondering if at this point Kirby is just considering them immortal in the sense that they don’t age.
Despite the cover, right now it’s more of a fight between the Hulk and Makkari…’s ship.
This just results into the ball-shaped ship to ricochet everywhere.
Ikaris is currently down from the fight, and he’s interviewed (???) about the involvement of other Marvel characters.
And they ARE explicitly considered fictional characters! That was barely implied last time, but this confirms that Kirby still doesn’t consider this series to be in the Marvel Universe.
Ikaris resumes the fight, but someone else has been faster than him to spring into action.
Specifically Sersi, because while she can’t transmute the Hulk robot it doesn’t mean she can’t use THE REST OF THE CITY as her weapon!
She’s just about ready to trick the robot into leaving Earth (!!!) when Ikaris stops her.
You have to love how even characters in-universe are calling out Ikaris as a TERRIBLE protagonist.
I really fail to see how this is better than Sersi’s plan. Wouldn’t it be easier to keep the robot away from civilians on the Moon!? They could still find a way to deal with him there: from what we’ve seen so far, the Eternal shouldn’t have a problem going to the Moon and they don’t seem to require air to live.
We interrupt this program with an urgent message from Plot Convenience News.
Meanwhile Makkari decides he’s had enough of his ship and his companions.
There are only so many “we interrupt this for a Hulk story” jokes that I can make.
Time for the final confrontation with the Hulk!
Next time.
Splash pages: 2 out of 17 (12%)
no double splash pages
Most Kirby panel
Most WTF panel
THE CITY IS BEING WRECKED, are those really the most important questions!?!?
Eternals #16 (1977)
by Jack Kirby
I hadn’t planned to review these two issues together, but nothing happened in the first part.
And frankly I’m really tired of the Hulk robot: one issue was fine, two issues was pushing it, but THREE ISSUES dedicated to this plot is just ridiculous!!!
Zuras is so powerful that he makes the two previous issues pointless.
Well I guess they were pointless to begin with.
Zuras is also able to quickly deplete the cosmic energies inside the robot.
Which means they’re going to immediately deal with the robot instead of giving it a chance to do more damage, right? RIGHT???
Zuras, I understand you’re basically the king of the Eternals, but why pawn this off to someone else when you can CLEARLY do a better job in no time???
Holy crap is Makkari sucking up to his boss in this.
All while the Hulk robot is desperately looking for a plot.
It’s a giant rampaging monster leaking a trail of energy, Zuras, you need help finding him???
I feel like the news are doing a TERRIBLE job at covering like this a disaster that might as well end up destroying the city.
Which might just be the most realistic part of this entire series.
Man am I glad I have this meme on speed dial.
Jokes about realism aside, I do enjoy the acknowledgement that a rampaging monster on fire lurking beneath the city is a bit of a fire hazard.
You guys are several thousand years old, HOW ARE YOU SO BAD AT THIS???
Turns out there’s an ancient colossal structure beneath New York City that nobody has ever noticed.
Sounds legit.
Once again Zuras makes every single other Eternal around him completely irrelevant.
COULDN’T YOU DO THIS EARLIER!?!?
Zuras knows about the weird catacombs beneath NYC, and decides to investigate on his own.
I do like how he puts into perspective that while Sersi is positively ancient by human standards, she’s just a kid compared to him.
Turns out that the Hulk robot has awakened, seemingly by complete accident, Dromedan The Brain Snatcher.
Who is apparently some kind of super-telepath.
This results into, of course, an Eternal Fight.
Which Zuras makes completely irrelevant the second he shows up. AGAIN.
And so we close with the promise of Dromedan doing something interesting.
Splash pages: 1 out of 17 (6%)
no double splash pages
Most Kirby panel
Most WTF panel
Why don’t YOU do it!?!?
Historical significance: 0/10
They don’t even resolve the Hulk robot plot. The next time we see it is Fantastic Four #320, eleven years later!!!
Because the Eternals JUST LET THE ROBOT THERE.
Silver Age-ness: 5/10
The level of destruction is somewhat more realistic than the Silver Age… but on the other hand, people aren’t taking this seriously enough.
Does it stand the test of time? 2/10
I feel like a broken record, but exactly like last time: the Kirby artwork is the ONLY reason to read this. He’s even allowed to go a bit further than usual with the Hulk destruction.
But it’s not even a Hulk story, despite my jokes, because the robot doesn’t even talk!!!
And while I can’t entirely fault Kirby for this… it’s abundantly clear that involving the Hulk wasn’t his idea and that it was an editorial mandate… I can still criticize him for delivering a such a letdown.
I know I’m always very critical of Kirby as a writer, but even he is normally a MUCH better writer than this! This has absolutely nothing to do with the normal themes of the book, but to add insult to injury the Eternals are either too powerful for their scenes (Zuras) or laughably incompetent (everyone else).
There is never even the slightest acknowledgement of what would have been the most interesting aspect: the rampage is entirely THE FAULT OF THE ETERNALS, because the robot was only this powerful and aggressive BECAUSE OF THE UNI-MIND.
The chance to have this as a harsh lesson to the Eternals was RIGHT THERE, but Kirby doesn’t even attempt to bring ANY depth to this mess.
Does this fit the Marvel Universe? 0/10
Not only the Marvel characters are explicitly called fictional, but there is absolutely no way you could have this chaos in New York City without involving a single superhero.
