STRANGE TALES 127 (1964)
by Stan Lee & Dick Ayers
cover by Jack Kirby
The admittedly cool cover promises a interesting twist, but don’t get your hopes up for “the mystery villain”.
We begin with the Torch racing Mr. Fantastic and the Thing, who are riding surprisingly off-model versions of the Fantasticar.
What’s the point of giving the Human Torch his own series if he only interacts with the Fantastic Four!?
After losing the race because he used too much flame, the Torch starts complaining: why do the Fantastic Four have a leader anyway, since the Avengers don’t?
It might sound weird, but that’s correct: in their first incarnation, the Avengers didn’t have a stable leader and the position of chairman rotated between members.
Considering they haven’t used that system for the past 55 years or so, you can probably guess how well it worked.
After the Human Torch boasts of all the villains he has defeated in his own series (which isn’t a big accomplishment since they all sucked), Reed has had enough of his constant complaining.
And for once I don’t blame him!
Later, the Torch and the Thing are invited to some kind of super-car race for charity.
“One of Reed’s missiles can do that with one rocket tied behind its back”… what does that even mean!? Don’t missiles usually have rockets in the back???
Despite appearances, the guy behind the high-tech race isn’t Tony Stark in disguise.
Once the race stats, the Torch and the Thing discover it’s a trap: the cars are automated and they can’t get out.
Honestly this is worth it just to see the Thing wearing racing goggles because he’s adorable!!!
Then the cars drive themselves to an underground tunnel, where they meet the man responsible for all of this.
He takes care of the Torch with “liquid asbestos”, making a return from Strange Tales 106.
And he takes care of the Thing by… stepping aside.
Well that’s just embarrassing.
And I guess that’s enough for the Torch to decide he wants to murder this guy because HE GOES NOVA!!!
Or not??? He SAYS he goes “near-nova”, but the very next panel he’s just creating a cage of flames. Typically when he goes nova he takes out at least a city block, you mean to tell me that “near-nova” does absolutely nothing? In a closed space!?
My theory that they want to murder the “mystery villain” is reinforced by the fact that they try to trap him underground, even if they explicitly say that the place is running low on oxygen. (!!!)
Except the “mystery villain” is able to sneak out of the mass of boulders that the Thing threw at him.
Can you guess who the villain is? Is he…
A) the guy dating the Torch’s sister?
B) the Thing’s college buddy?
C) the guy who isn’t the worst human being I’ve covered in my reviews only thanks to Superman and Doc Magnus?
D) a jackass?
Well…
The answer is D as I’m honestly struggling to find a moment where Reed was worse than this.
So, uhm… Reed demands absolute obedience and constant adulation from his teammates.
Are we SURE that Doctor Doom is the bad guy between the two!?
Also: the Thing lacks “the deliberation of the Avengers”? WTF does that even mean!?!?
Historical significance: 0/10
I was honestly tempted to give this a negative score… yeah, it’s THAT bad. I decided against it because it’s reserved for negative messages, and “Silver Age Reed Richards is awful” checks out.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
At DC you wouldn’t even blink twice at this behavior from a super-hero, but…
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Behold the Human Torch whining for a couple of pages, spend half of the story stuck inside a car, and generally make a complete fool of himself.
Not that the Thing is any better, and I don’t think I really need to talk about Reed here.
Cancer count: 24
The return of liquid asbestos!
Interesting letters: this is only the second issue of Strange Tales with letters.
I think we just found where Stan Lee was learning the weird teenage lingo that showed up on Spider-Man during the Romita run.
