JIMMY OLSEN 139 (1971)
by Jack Kirby
If you thought I was being unfairly harsh on the Jack Kirby run, you might want to skip this one.
I sure wanted to!!!
Yes, this comic is going to feature comedy legend Don Rickles and his doppelganger.
FOR REAL.
Now, I don’t know much about Don Rickles: he’s not particularly well-known in Europe, but I’ve seen him on the Letterman show a couple of times and he was pretty funny.
He is NOT going to be funny in this story. AT ALL.
We begin with Guardian being given clearance to leave DNA Project. About time this comic did something with him, he’s been barely a background character since he came back.
The Newsboy Legion is excited to join his trip to Metropolis, but they’ll have to stay behind because one of them has a cold. Enjoy Jimmy making a cameo in his own book!
Only Gabby is sick, so how is the rest of the Newsboy Legion treating him? Pretty much the same way I want to treat every single one of them.
Also: Flippa Dippa is wearing his scuba gear under his hospital gown.
If that’s supposed to be funny, it’s indicative of the level of comedy we’ll have to expect here.
Also: how jaded are the people of Metropolis if “I thought there was going to be an atomic explosion” warrants NO RESPONSE!?
To be fair, this reaction is legitimately funny. Alright comic, you get ONE.
Morgan Edge has Don Rickles under contract for… something (isn’t he supposed to be running a news network? Why is he hiring a comedian!?). But apparently there’s been a misunderstanding.
Yes FOR SOME REASON instead of hiring Don Rickles, he’s hired…*sigh*… “Goody Rickels”.
I know Darkseid is always looking for the Anti-Life Equation, but if he’s interested in the Anti-Comedy Idiot we found him.
Jack Kirby was a man of boundless imagination, so I have to wonder: didn’t he have ANYTHING ELSE to put in this comic!?!?
*sigh*
Let’s try to move on. Morgan Edge sends Jimmy Olsen (at last!) and Clark Kent to inspect a UFO story. The Guardian tags along, and… oh for crying out loud, do we REALLY have to endure Goody Rickels the whole story!?
Clark Kent has the good sense to slip into the UFO and use it to get the hell away from this idiot.
And how telling is it that I don’t have to specify that I’m not talking about Jimmy!?
And then random goons attack, because why not?
Words cannot describe how much this sucks. Like I’m not even going to the the grave running gag because I want to believe that even the most fierce Kirby defenders think this sucks.
Turns out that Morgan Edge was the one to send the UFO because it was a trap to send Goody Rickels into outer space. So yeah, we’re using technology from Apocalypse to get rid of that moron.
Also: first appearance of one of the recurring Intergang members, Bruno “Ugly” Mannheim.
I’ve always liked Mannheim. Maybe because of his role in the Superman cartoon, but he has a killer yet simple design.
He’s such a fun scumbag. Also he laced the food with a chemical that will make Jimmy Olsen and Don Rickels burst into flame in 24 hours, so he can’t be THAT bad.
And because this storyline is a personal affront to my sanity, we are not leaving the Newsboy Legion behind.
Can we set THEM on fire? Please?
Issue 140 was a reprint, so let’s just skip to issue 141 and hope we survive.
JIMMY OLSEN 141 (1971)
by Jack Kirby
You know, there is ONE good thing I can say about issue #139: no collages.
So of course issue #141 has THREE PAGES of it.
Well at least it’s going to make this painful comic shorter.
We COULD spend time with Superman meeting Lightray, one of the New Gods (although one of the least interesting ones, and they’re all pretty boring to begin with)…
…or we could spend time with Anti-Comedy Idiot, Bootleg Captain America and Sir Not Appearing In His Own Comic.
Naah, let’s spend some with Don Rickles!
Like I said I don’t know much about him, but I KNOW he was funny. And since he was the king of insult comedy, having him read the dialogue Kirby gives him would’ve been comedy gold!
Even this comic can’t stand its characters.
This lady makes a perfect impression of my feelings about this comic.
If this was the reaction Kirby wanted from the readers, I don’t think he’s getting it.
How long are we going to suffer through this!?
On the plus side, everybody is going to die because Jimmy Olsen went to work instead of, you know, asking for help to DNA Project? Or Professor Potter? Or freaking SUPERMAN!?
He doesn’t know he’s in space, why doesn’t he use the signal watch!?
Unfortunately for the good of mankind, the Guardian has recovered the antidote from Mannheim’s goons. So nobody explodes.
Bummer.
Also Clark Kent makes it back to Earth, as if there was ever any doubt.
He has done absolutely nothing interesting this entire story.
Historical significance
Issue 139: 1/10
First Mannheim.
Issue 141: 0/10
First and God I hope last time Don Rickles appears in comics.
Silver Age-ness: 3∞/10
Currently tied with issue #117 as the highest score of three times infinity out of ten.
Does it stand the test of time?
Issue 139: WHY!?/10
Issue 141: AAAARRGGHHH/10
Someone was paid to write, draw, ink, color, edit, publish and distribute this.
With money.
Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
Even with a limited amount of panels he STILL manages to resurrect this category by going to Morgan Edge because he thinks he can prevent him from exploding!
Most Kirby panel
First issue
Second issue
Most WTF panel
First issue: I still can’t believe he’s wearing that gear.
Second issue: this is just as unfunny with context.
Interesting letters from #139: most of the letters up to now are lavish with praise, even though nobody seems to like Flippa Dippa.
There are, however, insightful arguments AGAINST the Kirby run.
