JIMMY OLSEN 74 (1963)
“The Pranks of Jimmy the Imp!” by Jerry Siegel & John Forte
“Jimmy Olsen and the Forty Thieves!” by Leo Dorfman & Curt Swan
“Jimmy Olsen’s Secret Love!” Jerry Siegel & Curt Swan
You can’t convince me that this cover wasn’t conceived by someone really, really high.
We begin in the 5th dimension, where Mr. Mxyzptlk has stolen a magic computer to mess with “that idiotic young reporter, Jimmy Olsen”.
Why? Because Jimmy made fun of him. Note that Jimmy isn’t saying that he’s reporting any news, he’s just writing bad stuff about a nearly omnipotent magical being.
And so, in order to teach Jimmy a lesson, Mr. Mxyzptlk gives him his powers AND his personality.
On the bad side, Imp-Jimmy is a terrible person.
On the good side, he’s not Jimmy Olsen.
His next victim is Lucy, who OF COURSE is dating someone else.
I wonder if we’re supposed to think that Lucy is unusually tall? She’s drawn the same of the rest of the cast.
Imp-Jimmy punishes her by shrinking her into “a midget”.
Next, Imp-Jimmy is annoyed by the fact that people are praising Lois for one of her “big scoops”, where actually Superman is doing all the work.
See? Told you Imp-Jimmy was different from regular Jimmy: he’s making sense!
I honestly think they first came up with those transformations by picking words at random and then retroactively coming up with an explanation.
His last victim is Clark Kent who gets turned into a chicken’s head.
You just can’t make this sh#t up!
Perry tries to trick Imp-Jimmy into saying his name backwards…
…except it doesn’t work.
Of course since Mr. Mxyzptlk is an idiot he can’t possibly avoid giving Imp-Jimmy what he needs to get out of this mess.
I usually like Mr. Mxyzptlk, but being outsmarted by Jimmy Olsen is just pathetic.
Mr. Mxyzptlk deserves to be arrested just for that. Obviously Jimmy doesn’t deserve to be praised, but we can’t always win.
Next story: “Jimmy and the forty thieves”, where we learn that Jimmy knows Arabic.
In addition to “the Viking language” and Latin. Talk about an idiot savant…
Upon learning that he’s in Bagdad, Jimmy’s first thought is to call himself Ali Baba.
Because of course it is.
Just in case you were wondering: no, Jimmy doesn’t know them meaning of the words “culturally sensitive”.
Also: yes it IS ludicrous that you keep running into doppelgangers, Jimmy, thanks for finally noticing!
Jimmy gets out of trouble by sounding a gigantic gong… (???)
…and he meets Not Lex Luthor.
Obviously the story wouldn’t be called “Jimmy and the forty thieves” if it didn’t include this scene…
…but they also manage to make a fairy tale LESS scientifically plausible, which is quite an accomplishment!
Why would the door only open with the words “open sesame” is… hold on, wait a second, I seem to have stopped caring.
Want an idea of just how casual time travel is in the Silver Age? Not Lex Luthor doesn’t give a crap about it!
Also, Jimmy learns snake charming. Maybe I was onto something with that “idiot savant” joke.
Jimmy gets into more trouble, he’s captured and sold as a slave (!!!) to Not Lex Luthor’s goons.
And Not Lex Luthor turns out to be… Lex Luthor!
…who can MAKE SOUND TRAVEL FASTER THAN TIME (WTF!?)
AND he can make mirrors that turn light into Kryptonite rays (double WTF!?)
But despite all that, Luthor is defeated by a snake.
Also it turns out that Luthor had stolen the entire city of Kandor!
HOW!?
Sounds legit.
Third story: Lucy is tasked to disguise herself to spy on her colleagues to see who deserve a raise.
Please tell me this isn’t really something that 1960s airlines really did…
At the same time, thanks to poor writing sheer coincidence, Jimmy Olsen also has to go undercover on the same flight.
Speaking of bad writing: both Lucy and Jimmy don’t recognize each other, despite the fact that their “disguise” simply consists of wigs and fake moustaches.
Jimmy finds the disguised Lucy “fascinating” because she takes pictures inside the plane…
…and she finds him “smooth and sophisticated” because he does a magic trick with a rubber chicken. So maybe these two idiots really are made for each other after all!
This is one of those occasions where we get to see what Lucy really thinks about Jimmy. And as it’s always the case, she’s RIGHTFULLY criticizing him!
I would be REALLY surprised to find out this isn’t the exact plot of at least one romantic comedy.
Once they land, Jimmy pulls out a trick to cheer up a crying child: annoy a random guy by ruining one of Lucy’s wigs.
They go their separate ways. But the following day at a costume party, both Jimmy and Lucy can’t stop thinking about their latest crush, despite her best Zatanna cosplay.
Jimmy and Lucy then get on the same flight again with their fake identities, and they can’t figure out what’s going on even when they kiss.
Then Superman arrests the guy that was tricked by Jimmy.
And the thief gave himself away by stealing Jimmy’s signal watch.
But in the confusion both Jimmy and Lucy lose track of their latest crush, so they go back to hating their regular sweetheart.
I’ll say it again: these two idiots deserve each other.
Historical significance: 0/10
Despite Jimmy wondering if Mr. Mxyzptlk will become his nemesis… he just appears now and then, just like before.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
The third story a little less so, but the others? Giant Head Lois! Chicken Head Kent! Faster-than-time sound! Kryptonite shooting mirrors!
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
I suppose the second story could’ve done something racist, but other than that I can’t think of a worse way to write those stories.
Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
First story: I can’t fault Imp-Jimmy since he’s under mind control, but writing a scathing article on Mr. Mxyzptlk was a very Jimmy Olsen idea.
Second story: “I’m in an unfamiliar place, let’s harass the first woman I meet, what could possibly go wrong?”
Third story: “let’s annoy this grumpy guy who’s built like a gorilla, that’s a neat trick right?”
Superpowers count: 32
It’s been a while since we had the chance to update the list, so it’s time to add reality warping!