JIMMY OLSEN 61 (1962)
“Jimmy Olsen’s Wildest Adventure!” by Bill Finger & John Forte
“Olsen the Roughneck!” by Robert Bernstein & John Forte
cover by Curt Swan
Considering what we have see in this series, “Jimmy Olsen’s wildest adventure” is quite a claim.
I’ll grant that one thing is right: we finally learn Jimmy’s age!
Really? Jimmy has been 20 years old this whole time? I can’t quite put my finger on why, but it feels weird.
Let’s go back to something more familiar for this series: Jimmy being chased by a caveman.
However the caveman suddenly vanishes.
The bystander’s reaction is everything.
Next Jimmy is knocked out by the “Mad Tattoo Artist”. Sounds like a lame Silver Age Batman villain, which is kind of appropriate since the writer is Batman’s co-creator Bill Finger.
You might be thinking “sweet, free tattoo!”. But in addition to sucking as a villain, Mad Tattoo Artist also sucks as a tattoo artist.
You’ve probably figured out this story’s formula: the tattoos suddenly disappear.
Jimmy is so distraught that Lucy brings him to a doctor.
I’m no doctor, but are x-rays typically used on a patient having hallucinations?
They should probably run some tests on Lucy while they’re at it.
They get married at the doctor’s office (!!!), even before the doctor has written Jimmy’s bill. (!!!)
If you’re feeling bad for Lucy, at least she won’t suffer for long being Jimmy’s wife.
To Jimmy’s credit, he immediately rushes to Lucy to tell her that he wants to get the marriage annulled.
Lucy’s reaction is just the best.
And of course the doctor is nowhere to be seen.
Okay, it’s time to start wrapping up the story. Or rather, in pure Silver Age tradition, to stop making sense.
Turns out that all the people that Jimmy met in the story… the policeman, the doctor, the nurse, even Lucy… all of them were just actors.
Among other things, this means that Jimmy was fooled by “make up and a blond wig” into thinking that a woman he has never met was actually the girl he wanted to marry.
The actors are all “close relatives” of the millionaire that let a huge inheritance to Jimmy; Superman shows up in time to arrest them.
Uhm… what are they in jail for, exactly? They definitely did something illegal, but it’s a bit murky.
Especially for Jimmy, who has no idea of what just happened.
Has Jimmy gone crazy? Not more than usual.
So this means that Jimmy is a millionaire now? Obviously not.
Well that was pointless. And it definitely wasn’t Jimmy’s “wildest adventure”, not by a long shot.
If anything, that dubious honor goes to the second story:
Oh my god, really? You want to address domestic violence in JIMMY FREAKIN’ OLSEN!?
This is gonna hurt.
Yep. DEFINITELY gonna hurt.
I have no idea what an “apache dance” is and I really don’t want to know.
We are really doing this. I just can’t believe we’re doing this. In 1962.
At least Lucy makes it VERY clear that she won’t stand for this kind of behavior!
Can we get to something more dignified, please?
When you think you’ve seen everything, the Silver Age gives you a boxing fight between a kangaroo and a clown.
And Jimmy not noticing that a kangaroo has jumped into his convertible.
The kangaroo follows Jimmy to Lucy’s apartment, where she’s attending a party that looks infinitely more fun than a date with Jimmy Olsen.
I know I should probably focus on the panel with Lucy being punched by a kangaroo…
…but I just can’t over the fact that Jimmy gave an autographed picture of himself TO LOIS.
Also: just like nobody noticed the kangaroo getting into the apartment, nobody sees it escaping from the window. What is this, Looney Tunes!?!?
Lucy has had enough on Jimmy, going so far as showing up at the Jimmy Olsen Fan Club to threaten cancelling him.
Okay I can suspend my disbelief for the ninja boxing kangaroo, but the Jimmy Olsen Fan Club is just too much for me to accept!
I’m now certain that the writer has some weird and dangerous fetish.
We’ve seen Lucy being hit enough times, can we please cut to anything else?
I guess not.
Are you kidding me!? The snake attacks when it hears high-pitched sounds and your solution is the signal watch!?
I was hoping that Jimmy would get smacked at the end of the story, but I didn’t mean like this.
I think I’m going to throw up.
Historical significance: 0/10
Jimmy’s robot will show up again, but this issue is basically uninfluential.
Silver Age-ness:
First story: 4/10
Pretty much entirely because of the robot.
Second story: 10/10
THERE’S A KANGAROO WITH BOXING GLOVES FIGHTING A CLOWN.
Does it stand the test of time?
First story: 0/10
Inoffensive enough.
Second story: -5/10
For the first time, Jimmy gets a much-deserved negative score. If I have to explain why, there’s something wrong with you.
Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
Jimmy repeatedly smacking Lucy is a stupid writer’s moment, so I’m not going to count it. Jimmy mistaking the actress for Lucy, not to mention not noticing THE BOXING KANGAROO FOLLOWING HIM, definitely count.