KARATE KID #5 (1976)
by David Michelinie & Ric Estrada
cover by Ernie Chan & Mike Grell
Considering Karate Kid does come from the future, does it mean that we’ve reached the point in DC when history can be changed? Or am I overthinking a bad comic book?
We begin with Karate Kid being confused by the glorification of war just as much as I’m confused by this series.
The “veterans” take the opportunity to attack, even managing to take down the supposedly near-invincible martial artist by hitting him with the back of a rifle… INSTEAD OF SHOOTING HIM.
Turns out that supporting character Iris is the main target, despite being just a regular teacher.
He’s about to rescue her, but once a device inside his costume beeps he just… flees.
Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.
It’s revealed that, during his entire stay in the 20th century, Karate Kid is supposed to inform somebody every time he gets a specific signal.
And that’s why he didn’t try to rescue Iris.
We won’t learn who is behind this in this issue, but believe me it’s going to be disappointing.
Oh who am I kidding, you know this series by now, OF COURSE you believe it’s going to disappoint.
And speaking of disappointment: witness Michelinie’s latest unsuccessful attempt to turn Karate Kid into Spider-Man.
Karate Kid rushes to rescue Iris… or rather thinks that he would rescue her if he had ANY clue about where she is.
Then she’s accosted by a nice old lady.
You know… future Legion creator Keith Giffen has made no secret of his intense dislike of Karate Kid. I never understood that, since he’s pretty beloved by the Legion fandom and by other Legion writers.
But now I’m beginning to understand how someone could easily grow to hate this guy.
This might just be the dumbest thing printed in a comic book that doesn’t star Jimmy Olsen or Lois Lane. Even the Metal Men are smarter than this.
Karate Kid is lured into the bad guys lair and I’m starting to wonder if Michelinie had read a single Legion story with Karate Kid.
YOU HAVE FACED ENTIRE ARMIES, DUDE!!!
Disappointing Karate Kid Fight #13.
These bozos don’t even try to kill Karate Kid because their boss is just testing him.
Said boss is Commander Blud. Real name, and I’m not kidding, “Frederick Sanguine”.
Weird to see him talk about “abandoned Cold War bunkers” in 1976… still in the Cold War.
And why go through all the trouble of kidnapping Iris AND leaving behind that stupid clue? Because Blud knew he would have “trouble approaching him in the open”.
Because this comic has done SUCH a great job showing off Karate Kid as hard to take down.
But as much as it pains me, I have to give this comic SOME credit: it’s the first time that the fact that Karate Kid is from the future factors into the story.
All because Commander Blud wants to be on the losing side of history.
No, really, THAT’S HIS PLAN.
Disappointing Karate Kid Fight #14.
Commander Blud wins by cheating.
He puts Karate Kid into a torture device to make him reveal the secrets of the future.
Hey, if he wanted to torture him he could’ve just forced him to read this comic!
And that’s how we end this issue: with Karate Kid brainwashed into NOT sucking at fighting.
Jesus Christ this series…
Historical significance: 0/10
Commander Blud has two appearances. Just guess what is the next.
Silver Age-ness: 8/10
Does it stand the test of time? 1/10
Like I said, I’ll give credit when it’s due: having the villain’s plan hinge on Karate Kid being from the future is SOMETHING. It’s almost nothing, but hey, baby steps.