Karate Kid – Page 17 – Comics Archeology

KARATE KID #2 (1976)
by David Michelinie & Ric Estrada
cover by Mike Grell

Say hello to David Michelinie, who is going to be the writer for most of the series.
We’ve seen his work on Iron Man versus Doctor Doom, but he’s writing this under the pseudonym of “Barry Jameson”.

Be warned: THIS WILL MAKE YOUR BRAIN HURT.

We begin with Karate Kid meeting supporting character Iris again.

He does have proof that he’s from the future: a credit card.
Which, considering the Legion was taking place in the year 2976, has been expired for 28 years (and Karate Kid is… what, 20 at this point? At most?).

She is not impressed.

But that will have to wait since SUDDEN TSUNAMI!!!

Oh yeah, he just jumped two stories high while holding you with one arm, sure he’s not a superhero.

This is where we are introduced to the villain of the story: minor Green Lantern adversary Major Disaster.

Who summons a meteorite to crush Karate Kid !!!

And then Karate Kid, who I remind you supposedly doesn’t have any super-powers, KICKS THE METEORITE.

And he’s also strong enough to break a water tower when he tosses one of Major Disaster’s goons against it, but remember: no super-strength. Allegedly.

This is the same universe of 1960s Superman, so this kind of news really shouldn’t shock anyone.

Turns out that Major Disaster is working for “America For Americans” Nazis.

Boy am I glad that this is just a silly 70s comic about future martial artists who kick meteors, or this would be really depressing.

Let’s move to a less controversial topic: “the media suck in any century”.

Iris saves him from the press, much to Karate Kid’s relief because he’s not used to publicity.

EXCUSE ME!? The 30th century practically worships the Legion! You guys are super-stars and YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS THE PRINCESS OF AN ENTIRE PLANET!!!

But there’s no time to dwell on that idiocy because SUDDEN EARTHQUAKE!!!

Oh yeah, Iris, I’m sure the meteor-kicking guy who is going up against a supervillain who can summon tsunamis and earthquakes is going to need the help of… checking my notes… a school teacher.

Major Disaster has a machine that is going to destroy the United Nations, but Karate Kid is sure to have enough time to stop him.

“Major Disaster” is taken, but Iris can be “Major F#ckup”.

“We need to show our protagonist saving the girl without using super-powers”
“I know: we’ll just have him jump out of the window and land safely a hundred feet below!”
“That’s ridiculous. How would he survive!?”
“Well he could bounce on something on the way down.”
“Sounds legit.”

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. This is important.
You have seen some ridiculous martial arts in the Legion. You have seen even weirder stuff in comic books in general. Not to mention movies and video games.
But I can promise you that no media… be it a comic book, a novel, a schlocky movie… will EVER top what you are about to see.
It is with extreme pride that I present to you the scene that is 99% responsible for me including this series in the retrospective.
So, without further ado, I give you…

THE.
MOST.
RIDICULOUS.
MARTIAL ARTS.
FEAT.
OF.
ALL.
TIME.