Lois Lane – Page 13 – Comics Archeology

LOIS LANE #128 (1972)
by Robert Kanigher & John Rosenberger
Cover by Bob Oksner

Make your own Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex joke.

We begin with Superman’s wedding to Lois. You’d expect the entire superhero community to show up for Superman’s wedding, but it’s only his former boyfriend Batman and Aquaman.
Who I guess is just happy to be invited.

I might have invoked the inevitable wedding night joke a little too soon.

This is so stupid it hurts.

That’s not a reference to Wayne Manor, by the way. The Supermans (ugh) are staying at “Honeymoon Manor”… because when you have the entire planet and ALL OF SPACETIME at your disposal for the honeymoon, you really want a motel.

Ah yes, the moment all newlyweds look forward to… playing musical chairs.

Which might not be a cover for a swingers club, but I prefer to think it is rather than having Superman spend his time like this.

Then there’s a fancy party where Superman wins a dancing competition (because of course) and Lois wins a bracelet.

WHICH EXPLODES.

Yep. Lois is dead!

Well that was anticlimactic.

Historical significance: 0/10
Obviously Lois isn’t going to stay dead.

Silver Age-ness: 6/10
Superman driving the Batmobile is damn Silver Age, but the shocking ending balances it.

Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Like you could do this today!

Ah, it’s been a while since I had the chance to do a fake ending.
No, ladies and gentlemen, this is when the comic goes bonkers.
Yes.
NOW.

Yep, Lois is back at the wedding? Is she dreaming? Is Superman kissing a robot?
This is a Kanigher story: you can’t guess what he’s going to do next. He’s Kanigher.

Hey, I was mistaken earlier, there was a third Justice Leaguer. This raises the question of “where are the others”… except Wonder Woman. She knows Kanigher well enough to stay away.

We then go to a flashback of Lois having the same old argument with Superman.

Hey remember issue #121 when she decided she wasn’t going to spend her life chasing him? Because Kanigher sure as hell doesn’t.

But yeah, it’s the old same argument: “If I marry you people will start to randomly try to kill you”.
And then someone randomly tries to kill Lois.

Superman’s argument has never made any sense since people are already trying to kill Lois because of their relationship! ALL THE TIME!!! Why would marrying her put her into MORE danger!?!?

Apparently distracting angry women by giving them expensive gift is not exclusive to Earth.

Then Lois falls asleep, and when she wakes up she hears over the radio that Superman is marrying… her?

And that’s where we are now. Up to speed? Think you’ve figured out the twist?

Honestly? I wouldn’t put past Kanigher to introduce a secret Lois Lane identical twin.

But no, like I said you can’t predict what Kanigher is going to do. Or did expect an assassin with a cybernetic laser eye!?

Or Superman defending himself with a corpse!?

Okay you MIGHT have guessed the Lois wife was actually a robot.

And here’s the actual twist of the story: that Silver Age Superman is a freaking psychopath!!!
Which, admittedly, is not much of a twist.

Sooo… to recap, Superman gaslighted Lois into believing she was a ghost, faked his wedding to Lois for the 100,000th time… just to teach her a lesson!?
He’s lucky to be invulnerable because she’s definitely going to… oh who am I kidding, she’s going to forgive him immediately, isn’t it?