LOIS LANE #112 (1971)
by Cary Bates & Werner Roth
cover by Dick Giordano
I don’t understand the complaint, Lois, that’s an improvement in my book.
We begin with Superman exploring an alien world, only to find out Lois is trying to cosplay as Poison Ivy.
“I was worried for a second, but it turns out I’m only hallucinating so everything’s fine” is one of the weirdest tropes I keep finding over and over again.
Okay, pop quiz: you’re Superman and you just found the last remaining tree in an entire world, plus you’re randomly hallucinating. Do you:
A) leave the plant there
B) study why it didn’t die like the others
C) study why it’s giving you hallucinations
D) all of the above BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT A MORON
E) bring the plant to Earth without any analysis whatsoever
Yes let’s just plant a random alien organism, what’s the worst that could happen? I understand Superman is an alien himself but COME ON!!!
I might be overacting. It’s not like this plant has an ominous effect or anything.
Behold the VERY rare opportunity to see Lois and Superman go out on a normal date. Well, as normal as it could be if he’s still dress as Superman, but still!!!
And he immediately ditches her for an alien tentacle plant. No wonder they never go out together if their dates are THAT bad.
*gasp* oh no, not a female! Superman might marry her instead of Lois!
Honestly I would still date the plant rather than Lois.
But surprise, it was just a dream!
Or not! I sure am glad we kept the suspense for TWO WHOLE PANELS.
I don’t see why Lois is so worried. It’s not like the alien’s plan literally revolves around making sweet alien plant love with Superman, right?
Right?
So, uhm… why exactly did Professor Potter invent a chemical that kills all plant life!? That just looks like a war crime waiting to happen!
Just in case you’re thinking I’m joking by framing the story around Lois being jealous of a plant, I’m only SLIGHTLY exaggerating.
The solution is rather obvious if you’re into the minutia of Superman lore: the very rarely used White Kryptonite.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we are officially in the “let’s throw random stuff at the wall and see what sticks” part of the story.
All of this just to get to the cover scene.
We’re at the last page, so it’s about time to play an old favorite: “Guess the stupid ending!”.
How does Superman get out of this?
A) He randomly has some White Kryptonite on him
B) He’s saved by one of his robots
C) He doesn’t: the plant dies on its own
D) He doesn’t: the plant realizes Lois loves him more
E) He doesn’t: it was all just a dream
Take your guess!
Yes everything that happened AFTER Superman went on a date with Lois has been a dream, or rather a nightmare, that THE PLANT was having!!!
Which, yes, means the plant was dreaming that Lois was dreaming, and later the plant was dreaming that Lois was wondering if Lois was dreaming.
In other words, Inception ripped off Lois Lane.
Historical significance: 0/10
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Stupid Lois Lane moment
The actual Lois Lane appears in just 6 panels at the beginning and 3 at the end, so this time I’m giving her a pass. Don’t get used to it.