LOIS LANE #111 (1971)
by Robert Kanigher & Werner Roth
cover by Dick Giordano
This is someone’s fetish, right? I mean, it has to be.
We begin with Lois Lane taking some time off to go to the beach… where she can dream about Superman. And that’s not a joke, that’s LITERALLY what she’s here to do!!!
That’s when she’s assaulted by TINY CLONES OF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE.
There are sooooo many things wrong with this moment.
First of all: there’s absolutely ZERO introduction!!! We’re informed by the captions that these are clones commissioned by Apokolipse; if you weren’t reading Jimmy Olsen, this would come out of nowhere.
Second: you have the ability to clone the JLA and you waste it to make mini versions JUST to assault Lois Lane!?
Third: did I mention this has to be someone’s fetish?
I swear the only reason why this moment never became a meme is the creative use of panels, making it awkward to post it out of context.
We now return to our regularly scheduled insanity.
This is placed right next to what I think is supposed to be social commentary and it doesn’t work.
AT ALL.
It’s right between Lois typing “I love Superman” and her randomly having psychic powers! See what I mean?
Superman’s constant disbelief in other people having superpowers never ceases to amaze me.
But after she anticipates another couple of incidents, Superman decides they can get married after all.
They seem like a nice couple.
What is more likely:
A) Superman has gone mad because Lois has been poisoned by the mini-JLA, as they inform her because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
B) Lois took so many drugs she broke the world record for highest human in history
Both answers seem to be equally valid.
Did you ever think you would see LOIS FREAKING LANE defeat the entire Justice League on her own!?
If that’s not enough to scrap the whole mini-clones project, I don’t know what is.
And how is Lois going to save Superman? Thanks to a special lipstick that DNA Project (the future Project Cadmus) has manufactured… from Superman’s cells.
I really, REALLY don’t want to know what kind of cells.
Lois kisses Superman, restoring him to what passes for sanity in 70s DC Comics.
Take your pick if this means he doesn’t remember the rampage because…
A) the kiss also gave him amnesia
B) Lois has been tripping balls the entire time and none of this happened
I’m willing to bet it’s the drugs. Because if the story really happened, I wouldn’t put past Lois to try marrying the lipstick made of Superman cells.
Historical significance: 0/10
Silver Age-ness: 2∞/10
Yes, Lois is once again the uncontested champion of this category, scoring two times infinity out of ten for the second time.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Stupid Lois Lane moment
