LOIS LANE #109 (1971)
by Cary Bates & Werner Roth
cover by Dick Giordano
I know the correct reaction to the cover should be “Took you long enough, Lois!”…
…but all I can think of “WTF is she wearing!?”
Anyway, we begin with Lois doing a story about a supposedly revolutionary new psychiatric treatment. The jokes write themselves, don’t they?
Why do I get the feeling this happens to Lois on a regular basis? Not just in the general “she’s kidnapped” sense, but in “a psychiatrist realizes she’s a danger to society and tries to restrain her”.
Professor Denison explains to Lois that she used to know Lana Lang rather well, as she worked as her assistant when she was at university.
The fac that “you’re beautiful” was a qualification should’ve raised a red flag to Lana.
Although, if she really was a psychiatrist, I can see why she wouldn’t let Lana get very far.
Turns out the the professor has been projecting a liiiiitle too much.
Well obviously the only possible solution to this is LASER LOBOTOMY.
Lois loses consciousness, but when she wakes up… wait, the police is suddenly competent!?!?
Well at least Superman is still completely worthless.
Once the laser lobotomy showed up I thought “well this might be an automatic 10/10 in the Silver Age-ness, but since the previous scene was surprisingly tense maybe it won’t be that bad”.
Then SUDDEN RADIOACTIVE METEORS!
Superman takes care of the meteorites with his heat vision, and we get this absolute gem of a panel:
I for one fully support the new and improved Lois Lane.
I know, I know, I’m a broken record on this but he is Just. The. Worst.
A rare one-panel appearance of Lucy Lane! It feels like it’s been ages since she was a constant presence in these stories.
In the non-trash part of the story (seriously!), Lana Lang visits her old professor in jail.
Just how big of a bombshell is this? Lana Lang has been chasing Superboy/Superman since her first appearance in 1950.
BOTH Lana and Lois realizing it’s better to stop wasting time on Silver Age Superman!? It’s not even my birthday, comic!
Have we reached rock bottom for Superman?
Well considering he just spied on the diary of his “““girlfriend””” and that he’s throwing temper tantrums, I sure hope so.
But while Superman continues being The Worst… Clark Kent suddenly grows a conscience!!!
And then OUT OF F##KING NOWHERE Superman brings Lois to a minstrel with a magical instrument!? WTF is going on !?!?
Not insane enough for you? It’s actually a trick and the minstrel is the actor that broke the professor’s heart…
…but it could’ve been anyone, really, because the real trick was the “very convincing hoax” of pulling a magical instrument out of your cape.
Dammit, we lost New And Improved Lois.
But at least we end on a positive note: Lana Lang finally leaving Superman behind!
Obviously that’s not going to last.
Historical significance: 8/10
While Lana is not entirely out Superman’s harem, this IS a watershed moment since she’s not going to be a constant rival to Lois anymore.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
I described my thought process in the review, and that was BEFORE that weird final twist!
Does it stand the test of time? 5/10
There were so many absolutely random events that I had to double check if this was actually a Kanigher story. At least there was an attempt to change things up a little… it didn’t work, AT ALL, but better than nothing.
Stupid Lois Lane moment
Returning to her older self. Yeah I know she was shown to be very cold and all that, but come on, you can’t expect me NOT to root for a Lois that doesn’t give a crap about Silver Age Superman!!!