LOIS LANE #98 (1970)
“I Betrayed Superman” by Robert Kanigher & Irv Novick
“Tomorrow I Die!” by Robert Kanigher & Curt Swan
cover by Curt Swan
Two Lois Lane stories by Robert Kanigher! Last time was absolutely insane, so this is going to be interesting.
We begin with Lois Lane being assigned to cover a school of method acting in a not-so-subtle reference to real life Konstantin Stanislavski.
Although, uhm, I don’t think Kanigher knows anything about acting.
Also I don’t think method acting involves forcing yourself on random people (unless you’re playing the part of a creep, I suppose).
Turn out Lois can’t act because, and try not to be TOO shocked here, every guy reminds her of Superman.
This is a fetish for the director, right?
Yep. Totally a fetish.
Then Superman shows up! Since he’s playing Samson, it probably helps that he already met the real one.
Then, in a shocking twist that nobody could’ve seen come, Lois dreams about marrying Superman.
In a stadium because we HAVE to make it weird.
If you’re hoping that Superman playing Samson means he’s going to get into a ridiculous costume… well it couldn’t be more ridiculous that this scenario!!!
A museum donating a priceless historic artifact to be used as a prop in a shlocky theater production?
Sounds legit.
Almost as legit as the fact that THE RAZOR ACTUALLY WORKS.
Almost as legit as the fact that THE RAZOR ACTUALLY WORKS.
Also HOLY CRAP IS SUPERMAN ANGRY!!!
Or not.
And so we end with Lois unsure if she really does love Superman after all.
Yeah, sure, you knew it was a fake Superman all along.
And I have a bridge in Metropolis to sell you.
Our second story begins with Perry White reminding his reporters that they’re terrible journalists.
Perry… you do know that newspapers tend to write articles about OTHER people, right?
Right?
Also: 1,000 days of volunteering!? Let’s do some math on that number.
She has a day job so she can’t possibly go there EVERY day, but even if she did it would take her over two and a half years to get to her 1,000th day.
Once a week? That would take her over 19 years, and I don’t think Lois is old enough.
Twice a week? More believable, but that’s over nine years… still stretching it.
Even if she volunteered four times a week, it would take her FOUR YEARS AND TEN MONTHS to get to her 1,000 day.
Moving on, Lois gets assigned to treat a famous scientist that is being treated for cancer (although we’re not explicitly told it’s cancer) with radium treatments.
To celebrate her 1,000 day as a nurse, Superman gets her drunk on an asteroid. (WTF!?)
Well… that was random. Back to Lois administering the radium treatment to the scientist.
I’m not a doctor, but I hope they didn’t let volunteer nurses do this on their own!
I wonder if Kanigher learned everything about nuclear physics from Marvel Comics.
Either that or Lois is going to become the DC equivalent of Doctor Octopus.
WHICH WOULD ACTUALLY BE LESS RIDICULOUS.
You know I have to, right?
I wonder if under “radium poisoning” they list GLOWING IN THE DARK as a side effect.
First Jimmy Olsen visiting the slums, now this. Is 1970 Metropolis okay?
She’s going to kill us all, isn’t she?
Her “blaze of glory” bucket list include discovering a real life Hydra… (WTF!?)
…and going to an island where she can bone Superman until she dies.
Lois begs her sister Lucy to find her a plane for the island… but in a shocking display of intelligence, Lucy notices that something is off about her!
Just goes to show that breaking up with Jimmy Olsen is what she needed to get back to her senses.
After some nonsense about a hijacker…
…Superman takes her to a definitely not creepy part of the Fortress of Solitude.
Her joy is short-lived because soon SUDDEN MONSTER!!!
Why didn’t they go with THIS panel for the cover, I’ll never know. Curt Swan was just wasted in this series.
And now, ladies and gentlemen… yes, I can assure you that this is where the story goes BONKERS.
Yes.
NOW.
Because NEXT PANEL some random guy show up to disintegrate the Kryptonian monster!!!
This guy, who I remind you JUST SHOWED UP, turns out to be a Kryptonian criminal.
Jor-El was present during his arrest, because of course he was, and since he helped save the criminal’s life “Tra-Gob” has an outstanding debt.
This is the second Kanigher story where the Phantom Zone lets people escape without warning…
…so I expected this to be unexplained once again. Unfortunately we DO get an explanation.
Yep! Turns out that she wasn’t radioactive because of radium but because of the nectar, and also being radioactive is awesome.
I refuse to believe these two didn’t use cottage to bone for the rest of the day.
Historical significance: 0/10
No need to bother separating the two stories. Utterly forgettable.
Silver Age-ness
First story: 5/10
Perfectly average for the 70s.
Second story: 10/10
Lois thinking she’s radioactive because she glows? The absolutely random Hydra and especially the Phantom Zone criminal? Yeah, 10/10 all the way.
Does it stand the test of time?
First story: 0/10
Second story: 0/10
Stupid Lois Lane moment
First story: so Lois didn’t recognize she was dealing with a fake Superman? Not even once!?
Second story: of all the things to do with her money… the Jimmy Olsen fan club!?
Interesting letters: yes the fact that Lois couldn’t work after marriage (WTF!?) is more important than Superman lying to his wife.
