LOIS LANE #84 (1968)
by Frank Robbins & Irv Novick
Cover by Neal Adams
I’m not against putting Silver Age Lois Lane in jail, but can we really trust Superman?
We begin with Lois informing us that she’s going on vacation.
You, uhm, you okay Lois?
She’s going to meet an old college friend, and thanks to her yearbook we get a rare glimpse at a younger Lois.
Her friend, with the totally not made-up name Coral Stone, had in front of her the fantastic career of marrying a rich guy.
Ah, 1960s sexism, I’m not going to miss you once we get to the 70s.
Lois reaches her friend’s ranch, and everything seems fine…
…but of course there’s something weird going on.
That’s odd. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see this face every day?
Lois does pick up that the place is weird, so she decides to Lois Lane around.
If you think it’s weird that Lois packed a wig when she was just visiting a friend, apparently she always carries around a fake ID.
However she’s soon discovered, her friend pretends that she doesn’t know her, and Lois end up being framed for stealing a horse and a car.
And so Lois Lane is thrown into jail, somehow keeping her earrings.
She overhears that Superman is going to visit a nearby city to witness an atomic test (!!!), so she has to find a way to warn him.
WITH BALOONS.
No pigeons were harmed in the creation of this comic. I can’t say the same for brain cells.
Superman DOES show up eventually.
Come on, is this really the face of a mentally unstable person?
You just know that he wanted Lois to stay in jail because he wanted to watch a catfight with his x-ray vision.
The catfight was actually a cover: Lois disguised herself as her cellmate, who CONVENIENTLY was going to be released that very day!
The Lois runs into a very sick Superman. Well, we already know he’s a sick person, but this time I mean physically!
BEST. OUT OF CONTEXT. PANEL. EVER.
Then the real Superman shows up, for no particular reason.
We then turn to THE MOTHER OF ALL MOOD SWINGS!!!
THAT WAS HORRIFYING.
So… what’s going on? Basically, the entire town has been conspiring to keep the secret that the cattle was sick.
But don’t worry: Superman can cure hoof and mouth disease!
Or not. Why exactly can’t he do this again!?
Yeah, uhm… okay. I’m sure we can trust THIS person to keep a secret.
Historical significance: 0/10
It would’ve been a 0/10 even if Superman did actually cure the disease!
Silver Age-ness: 4/10
Fairly standard for late 60s DC.
Does it stand the test of time? -10/10
Up until we learn about the secret about the town, it’s a solid 7/10… a fairly standard but competent mystery plot. The idea that the entire thing has absolutely nothing to do with Superman and is actually a cover-up to save the town’s industry at the cost of animal life is a great twist that could even elevate it to a 8/10! But then we get to the ending… which pretty much absolves everyone: there are ZERO consequences for covering up an epidemic!!!
Stupid Lois Lane moment
This has to be the dumbest way we have ever seen Lois try to get Superman’s attention:
And let me remind you she once did this:
