LOIS LANE #69 (1966)
“Beware of the Bug-Belle!” by E. Nelson Bridwell & Kurt Schaffenberger
“Lois Lane’s Last Chance!” by Leo Dorfman & Kurt Schaffenberger
Apparently the readers were already sick of Lois trying to marry Superman.
But before we get to the cover story, we begin with AAAAHHHH!!!!
Wait wait wait. What’s that, Lana? Insects on honeymoon?
Sounds legit.
We truly begin with the revelation that Lois and Lana are living together now.
When the cover said that they were doing something new with Lois, I did not expect that!
It doesn’t last long, though, because Lana floods the apartment.
It’s panels like these that remind us that Schaffenberger is WAY too talented for this series.
So Lois moves to Lana’s apartment (which has already been redecorated, so why was Lana still living at her place?) and discovers her stalker shrine to Superboy.
Snooping around, Lois discovers the Insect Queen costume and ring from Superboy #124.
Wait, the wings are fake and part of the costume!?
Once Lois hears about a disaster that Superman and Supergirl can’t deal with because they’re in space…
“I’m going to save this child with my tongue” is a weird first mission.
Lois decides to have a few more adventures, using her powers to change into any insect… like a scorpion. That’s not an insect!
Well I suppose “Arthropod Queen” doesn’t have the same ring to it, but come on, you’ve already run out of insects to use!?
Now… get ready, because things are about to go crazy.
This is going to be our villain for the story. She even came prepared with her own costume!
Not only she has the powers of Insect Queen, but she also stole information about Kryptonian insects (which apparently fit in a couple of pages).
This woman, “Velvet”, belongs to the Anti-Superman Gang.
Her plan is actually a lot more well-thought that you might expect!
And yes, spiders are not insects on Earth, but this is a Kryptonian spider so I’ll let this pass.
But Lois also knows about Kryptonian insects, because she can read her own copy of Superman’s book. (!!!).
Both Lois AND Lana are Insect Queen this time, switching the ring back and forth.
Superman looks way too pleased to see Lois as a half-insect abomination.
Bridwell and Schaffenberger were into really, REALLY weird stuff, isn’t it?
Once Velvet is captured, Lois and Lana go back to living together.
Joke’s on you, Lois, he might be into that sort of thing.
Onto the cover story, which begins with Lois going to another college reunion only to discover that all of her classmates are now married.
Yep. It’s a Dorfman story for sure.
The story wants us to feel bad for Lois, but honestly I’m sympathizing with Perry White. He doesn’t have to deal with this s#it but he STILL tries to be a decent human being!
Lois can only think of Superman… unless a reclusive millionaire agrees to be interviewed and puts the move on her.
“People might say I’m a gold-digger”. I WONDER WHY.
Okay he’s rich, he’s generous and he’s kind to animals. Where’s the catch?
Ah yes. He’s a crazy stalker.
He’s going to kill her and wear her skin as a dress, isn’t he?
Lois has the good sense to reject his marriage proposal, although for the wrong reason.
At least her face says “oh God please let me get away before he gets violent”.
She tries to go back to Metropolis, but when the plane malfunctions she’s stuck here.
Remember “People might say I’m a gold-digger”?
This guy is a millionaire AND a star athlete AND a war hero AND he’s too modest to boast.
Lois keeps rejecting Mr. Perfect because he doesn’t love him, even catching him crying when he visits the Daily Planet to donate a million dollars to charity.
Time to play my favorite game, “Guess the stupid ending”!
What’s really going on?
A) The millionaire is actually Superman in disguise
B) The millionaire is actually from Kandor
C) The millionaire is actually another alien
D) The millionaire is actually who he says he is
Did you guess the right answer?
Surprise! Both answers A and D were correct this time!
So remember girls, if the man you’re in love with doesn’t want to marry you, just wait until he retires from his job and don’t look for love anywhere else!
I still bet the millionaire wants to wear her skin.
Historical significance: 0/10
Both the evil Insect Queen and the millionaire won’t show up again.
Silver Age-ness
First story: 9/10
Three Insect Queens!!! Saved from a 10/10 because there’s a clear effort to keep the powers consistent (despite the scorpion thing).
Second story: 2/10
Aside from Superman’s attitude, nothing particularly Silver Age-y.
Does it stand the test of time?
First story: 7/10
As with all Insect Queen stories, today it would rely heavily on body horror. The pacing is all over the place, but the basics for a story are there if you adjust a few things.
Second story: -10/10
Good for Lois for insisting that she simply doesn’t love the millionaire, but holy crap does this story have a terrible message!!!
Stupid Lois Lane moment
First story: I get why Lois doesn’t want to stay Insect Queen all the time, but those powers can be very useful and she knows how to use them well. How many times could she have saved herself if she just kept the ring!?
Second story: “This guy keeps throwing money at me. I wonder if he wants to get into my pants or if he’s just generous?”
Interesting letters: even readers who like this series hare beginning to question her. I especially like points 3 and 4.
