Lois Lane – Page 7 – Comics Archeology

SUPERMAN FAMILY #181 (1977)
by Cary Bates & Jose Delbo
cover by Ernie Chan

While there are several Lois Lane stories left in the Superman Family run, I will only look at few of them as most of them are actually fine.
There is, however, one final story that’s completely bonkers… as you can probably tell from the cover.

We begin in a country ruled by a king with absolute power and who employs magic.
Wait, I thought this was supposed to be a Lois Lane comic, not the Doctor Doom retrospective!

I will grant Cary Bates the slightest possible amount of praise for actually pointing out that absolute monarchy is almost completely gone. Even in the 70s, it’s amazing how many comics seem to think European monarchies are still absolute.

Her trip is interrupted when Lois is kidnapped into another dimension.
It’s just a regular Tuesday for her. Alien kidnappings are on Wednesdays, amnesia is on Friday, and the rest of the week is reserved for marriages with Superman.

And then for no reason whatsoever, Superman decides to show off what he’s going to give Lois for her birthday to Morgan Edge and Jimmy Olsen. (WTF!?)

Well this was certainly the best use of everybody’s time.

“Not even Superman can search all of Europe”?
Pre-Crisis Superman!? SINCE WHEN!?!?

Case in point: he traces her exact position thanks to the bracelet that he totally didn’t give her as a tracking device to stalk her.

We interrupt this Lois Lane story for a Hunchback of Notre-Dame rip-off.

A super-strong hunchback. That’s probably not important.

Are we in Latveria now? I think this is Latveria now.

And of course the king is…

Thank you for clarifying that the wedding gown materialized itself.
To be fair, that looks nothing like what I would’ve considered a wedding gown.

At least the comic has the decency to make this medieval kingdom hidden my a magic mist. If this was a 60s comic, this would be what everyone looks like in Europe.

You know what? I’m beginning to like Not-Latveria. The people seem pretty smart around here.

And OF COURSE he’s only thinking about his fame because he’s just. The. Worst.

“We’ve heard of you” HOW, exactly? Care to elaborate on that!?

This would’ve been a decent twist IF IT WASN’T ON THE FREAKING COVER!!!

This is just a magical illusion, though his powers are gone for real.
I begrudgingly admit the idea of the king being seen as handsome by his subject is actually a good twist.

AMAZINGLY, Lois doesn’t immediately agree to marry the king just because he looks hot!!!

This impresses the king enough to make him call off the wedding, but suddenly the wizard is like “wait a minute, I’m the all-powerful one, why am I not the one in charge here!?”

Probably because a gust of wind would be enough to make the wizard powerless.

Lois and Superman leave the kingdom, discovering that nobody else can leave without dying a horrible death.

And so we end with Lois realizing this story is too bizarre to be divulged to the public.

Lois… Morgan Edge published stories about government labs experimenting with human cloning, the Lochness Monster, werewolves, vampires. All of which are real in your universe, just like aliens and Atlantis and a city of super-intelligent gorillas, all of which are public knowledge.

Historical significance: 0/10