METAL MEN 10 (1964)
by Robert Kanigher & Ross Andru
Judging by the cover, I’m sure this won’t contain any insanity whatsoever.
In case your brain removed that specific memory to save you, last time the Metal Men (except Tim) were fused into this weird abomination.
Mercifully, the term “robette” didn’t stick. Both Doc and the narrator use it a lot in this issue.
“Act like a normal robot”, as if the other Metal Men weren’t even weirder than Tina.
Have you ever wondered what the Metal Men do in their spare time? Apparently, nothing interesting.
Hey, whatshername is back!
Look, if you want to criticize Tina for being a stalker, that’s fine.
But you have to be absolutely mental not to acknowledge that she’s sentient!!!
Doc Magnus might’ve dodged a bullet there, because whatshername is ALMOST as bad as him.
The Metal Men are tired of just waiting for Doc to come up with a solution for how to separate them, so they opt to jump into a cauldron. (!!!)
Eh, I’m sure they’ll be fine.
Apparently the same unknown phenomenon that fused them has caused them to grow in size and become mentally unstable.
Let me rephrase that: they have grown in size and are just as crazy as always.
I swear this series should be classified as a hard drug.
Sorry if I’m taking a backseat, but… what is there to say about scenes like these!?
As the fever dream continues, it becomes clear that the military can’t do anything to stop the Metal Men. And since at this point the series is completely ignoring the rest of the DC Universe, Doc Magnus has to think about who could possibly help.
And he considers the various alien menaces BEFORE thinking about Tin.
And so he decides that the world will be saved by… the Gas Gang from issue #6.
AND IT WORKS.
Just how pathetic is Tin? Faced with the defeat of the rest of his team, he begs the Gas Gang to kill him as well.
Jesus Christ that’s depressing.
It counts for the death count since Doc Magnus has to repair them like he usually does… except the Gas Gang, surprise surprise, betrays him.
AND THEN TIN SAVES THE DAY.
The electrical surge of Doc’s machine revives the Metal Men and destroys the Gas Gang, because I guess the drugs were starting to wear off.
Metal Men significance: 0/10
In my headcanon, none of this actually happened and Doc Magnus has been tripping balls the entire time thanks to the toxic fumes of his lab.
Admit it, that makes WAY too much sense!!!
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Randomness rules supreme here.
Does it stand the test of time? 5/10
It has the advantage of letting Ross Andru’s art run loose, and he gets VERY creative in the scenes with the Metal Men against the military. Not to the point of salvaging this trainwreck, but still…
Times Platinum has died: 8
Times Lead has died: 11
Times Mercury has died: 11
Times Gold has died: 11
Times Iron has died: 11
Times Tin has died: 11
Interesting letters: the readers continue to dislike Mercury, as they should.
