World’s Finest #221 (1974)
by Bob Haney & Dick Dillin
cover by Nick Cardy
Guys, there’s no reason to fight. Both your sons suck.
We begin with the mothers of the Super-Sons being angry at them and asking their husbands to do something about it.
It should be noted that this series goes out of its way to stay vague about the identity of the mothers, but it’s obvious Lois Lane is the mother of Superman Junior.
The mother of Batman Junior, on the other hand, seems rather generic and I can’t identify her; she doesn’t look anything like Batwoman.
The fathers, on the other hand, are growing SOME respect for the Super-Sons. Although I wouldn’t exactly call the first and the latest Super-Sons adventures as triumphs.
I know this is Bob Haney attempting to make his characters talk with teenage slang, but having Batman Junior call his partner “baby” and “tiger” really reads like these two are lovers.
Admittedly, the latter comes from being a Spider-Man fan.
Gordon is STILL Commissioner, which raises a few questions… how old is he? How old is Bruce Wayne? His son is in his early twenties.
Shockingly enough, especially written by Bob Haney, Batman Junior is not 100% on the side of the cops and thinks they’re overreacting!!!
The kid is released under the custody of the Super-Sons. I’m sure this nobody is not going to have a convoluted backstory.
This guy, Danny, turns out to have been adopted. Which he takes as an opportunity to be a dick to his adoptive father.
Danny’s biological father is mr. King, who is most definitely not a supervillain.
I might excuse Danny’s behavior towards his adoptive father because of the shock, but Danny does not question why his crazy rich father gave him to adoption.
Because Danny is kind of an idiot.
Batman is the one to figure things out: King abandoned his son when the mother died in childbirth, and went on to strike big in the emerald business.
The adoptive father is called Jack Orr. Whenever I spot a weird sounding name, Silver Age comics have taught me to always check if they’re anagrams or backwards spellings of a clue.
That usually works, but not here.
So Danny becomes accustomed to his family’s riches, to the point that King sends him to Central America to take care of business.
Good thing the Super-Sons followed him. Otherwise someone else might have just stared at the murders without doing anything.
Ah well, if he had emeralds in his pockets, naturally shooting him was the only way to prevent the theft. Danny goes along with this because, again, he is kind of an idiot.
Scratch that. He IS an idiot.
The Super-Sons take Danny to see the living conditions of the miners… because I guess it would be okay for them to live in squalor and be shot if they were thieves… and he discovers that his adoptive father is also there.
This initially confused be because he’s drawn differently, but this is the doorman from earlier in the story. Also I thought he had been sent here by King as punishment, but he ALSO followed Danny here!!!
Danny’s obliviousness almost steps into parody at this point.
King’s goons attack the barracks, leading to a rather quick fight scene.
Quick question: is “Have powers, will perambulate” a worse catchphrase than his father’s “I’ll be a three-eyed Kryptonian babootch”?
While Superman Junior perambulates (????), Batman Junior rescues Danny. Who is of course too dumb to realize he needs rescuing.
However King has corrupted the officials of whatever fictional country this is supposed to be, and government forces will arrive soon.
Surprisingly for a Bob Haney story, Batman Junior manages to escape without any help.
At least until they reach shark-infested waters.
Joke’s on them, Batman is always ready for anything shark related.
No, seriously, the Shark Repellent Spray ™ is totally canon.
But I guess this doesn’t extend to Batman Junior.
So let me get this straight. This Gotham City doorman also works as an undercover agent for a Central America country?
Sounds legit.
Also HOW DUMB CAN DANNY BE!?
Eventually, he FINALLY understands his biological father is a dick.
Danny ends up being more of a hero than the Super-Sons, because of course they can’t do anything right on their own.
The moral of the story is that great people can have s#itty sons, and vice versa.
Historical significance: 0/10
Danny never shows up again. I’m sure he ends up wasting all of his father’s fortune on the first obviously evil guy that talks to him.
Silver Age-ness: 3/10
Nothing egregious.
Does it stand the test of time? 3/10
Nothing really wrong with it, but I found it quite boring. It also has little business being a Super-Sons story… what do they bring to the table that Superman and Batman couldn’t? Even the “lesson” about sons of famous people feels tacked on at the last minute.
If anything, having Superman play a role would elevate the story a little since he’s adopted. We don’t even have Superman Junior say anything about his father being adopted.
As much as I’ve made fun of Danny for being dumb, it’s a staple of this kind of story… the real fault with that aspect is that you can see every twist coming from a mile away.