Superboy and the LSH #255 (1979)
by Gerry Conway & Joe Staton
cover by Dick Giordano
Just how many people visited Krypton before it exploded!?
We begin with Pa Kent lampshading the silliness of Superman’s disguise.
I really wish the writers would just stop trying to make us believe that it’s a good disguise. If we can accept a man can fly and shoot lasers from his eyes we’re all willing to ignore the glasses thing, but the more you highlight it the more it’s hard to ignore.
After thwarting yet another attempt from Lana Lang at proving he’s actually Superboy, there is a very interesting moment of introspection. I think Superman would greatly benefit for more scenes like this one.
And that’s enough for THIS THING to steal Superboy’s glasses.
Which means that later, when Clark Kent has to use heat vision, he melts a fake pair of glasses.
In case you didn’t know, the Silver Age origin of the glasses (well at least one version of it) is that Superboy just randomly found a couple of lenses inside his spaceship. Yes, seriously.
This looks like a job for the Legion of Super-Heroes, SOMEHOW.
Why is the Legion here? Well, someone in the 30th century stole from the Superman Museum the Phantom Zone Projector ™ and the Time-Ray Projector (patent pending) that Luthor used aaaall the way back in Adventure Comics #300.
Because that sounds like the perfect stuff to keep in a museum while still fully functional. (WTF!?)
That’s already complicated enough. But the thief ALSO stole the entire population of 30th century Tokyo (!!!!) and is keeping it hostage. That’s a fine plot thread, sure, but why make them trapped in a DIFFERENT dimension and not, you know, the Phantom Zone!?!?
The thief is the same alien we saw steal Superboy’s glasses: the awfully named The Gorgli, who will kill the hostage if he’s not handed over ten thousand slaves within ten hours.
Also The Gorgli has an incredibly advanced spaceship, so this won’t be solved by brute force.
I think it’s official: the Science Police and the Gotham City Police Department study with the same teachers.
So of course that means The Gorgli stole Superboy’s glasses to make a giant laser. I don’t know about you, but I’m beginning to think The Gorgli is not very smart if that’s all he can think of after STEALING A FREAKING TIME MACHINE.
Naturally the solution is to go back in time and steal more random lenses picked up on Krypton.
I don’t want to sound racist, but doesn’t the young Superman find it strange that one of the strangers has blue skin? We never get the sense that Krypton gets a lot of visits from non-Kryptonians (except Mon-El in his origin story and every time traveler ever).
And so the Legion defeats The Gorgli by building a different super-laser that uses a random Kryptonian lens.
Well. That was certainly, uhm, that was certainly 17 pages of something.
Legion significance: 0/10
We don’t even get to see The Gorgli again. He had an interesting design, but that’s about it.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
The only way it could’ve been more Silver Age is if The Gorgli was a gorilla.
Does it stand the test of time? 1/10
That panel of Clark Kent wishing he didn’t have to keep a secret identity is the only thing worthwhile. The rest of this sucked so much I’m at a loss of words… it’s by no means atrocious, but I can’t think of a single thing we haven’t seen a dozen times in better or funnier stories.
We are legion
22 Legionnaires
5 reserve members
2 on sick leave (Brainiac 5 and Matter-Eater Lad)