Action Comics #275 (1961)
“The Menace of Red-Green Kryptonite!”
by Jerry Coleman & Wayne Boring
cover by Curt Swan
Wouldn’t the “red and green Kryptonite” be yellow Kryptonite?
We begin with Brainiac invading Earth to steal some aluminum.
He’s using his trademark force field in a more creative fashion than usual; I don’t recall any other instances of creating constructs with it, but Reboot Brainiac 5 will eventually do that frequently.
Finding things like this is both great and frustrating, because it shows the sheer creativity of the writers AND the reluctance to keep any new applications of powers around.
Brainiac is unique among Silver Age Superman villains because he’s the only one who can consistently shrug off any attack from Superman.
Well, he’s not the ONLY one, but we’re not supposed to take Mr. Mxyzptlk seriously.
Despite having a perfect defense against Superman, I’m guessing Brainiac is bored because instead of just using Regular Kryptonite and leave he experiments a new type.
Even he doesn’t know what’s going to do!
I think using Red Kryptonite is a very bad idea, because some transformations arguable make Superman MORE dangerous. Adding a second type of Kryptonite into the mix? I still think Brainiac is just bored.
It might sound silly to have people just stand there for “long minutes” without anyone trying to do anything to Brainiac, but… even Superman wasn’t able to touch him, what else are they supposed to do?
Green Kryptonite makes Superman sick.
Red Kryptonite gives Superman random transformations.
Red-Green Kryptonite makes Superman… wear a hat.
Sounds legit.
Correction: it makes Superman wear all sorts of headwear!
This is supposed to showcase Superman’s erratic behavior, but honestly doing an overly complicated stunt to duplicate a power he already has is perfectly normal for him.
Not to mention that a giant magnifying glass on top of a skyscraper sounds REALLY dangerous!!!
Also, the Simpsons did it.
“Making sense in a wild, nonsensical way” is the best description of Silver Age-ness I’ve ever come across.
Next hat!
I’m no expert on the Queen’s Guard… well the King’s Guard today… but I have a feeling that “all they do is parade back and forth” is quite the insult.
But that wasn’t the effect of Red-Green Kryptonite; it’s just what Superman WANTS you to believe.
And I guess that according to the writer, that is ALL you really need to figure out the twist!
But in case that’s not enough, we’re given more clues. Like the fact that Superman CAN take off his hat if he wants to.
Next up: destruction of public property!
Well we’ve already insulted the British, we might as well infuriate the French.
Not content to embarrass actual countries, Superman does the same with fictional ones.
Sometimes I want to see the fictional movies mentioned in the Silver Age because they sound WILD.
Okay here’s an actually useful clue: Superman’s head burns hats.
Yes, believe it or not THIS it is the key to the mystery.
Brainiac is back for revenge, and seeing how Superman was compelled to do whatever his hat told him he has a cruel trick.
But that was all part of Superman’s plan.
Good thing Brainiac will eventually be revealed to be a robot or this would have been his last appearance given that broken neck!
And now, ladies and gentlemen, is the time to test your theories on “Guess the stupid ending”.
How DID Red-Green Kryptonite actually affect Superman?
A) it made Superman extremely sensitive to fashion trends
B) it made Superman lose his powers if he’s not wearing a hat.
C) it gave Superman a third eye; the hats were to disguise it.
D) it made Superman bald; the hats were to disguise it.
E) it had no effect. Superman faked everything.
I told you that the key clue was the hat burning from the back.
Another crucial clue was that whenever Superman or Clark wasn’t wearing a hat, we only saw him from the front.
Also: citation needed, much?
I should point out that once the Red-Green Kryptonite affected Superman, he just stood in place for “long minutes” without ANYONE seeing a third eye. Before he just decided to wear a hat.
Historical significance: 10 / 
Silver Age-ness: 10 / 
Does it stand the test of time? 0 / 
No wonder Red-Green Kryptonite is never used again… it’s just Red Kryptonite.
The twist is fine until you think about it more than a second, but admittedly it was a fun story.
“Ma and Pa Kent adopt Supergirl!”
by Jerry Siegel & Jim Mooney
We begin with Superman showing to Supergirl, who at the time was yet to be adopted by human parents, that he had a loving parents when he was her age.
I really struggle to find an interpretation to this where he doesn’t come off as insensitive at best and monstrous at worst.
When YOU think she’s ready???
Alright forget the charitable interpretation, he’s just. The. Worst.
And that’s the framing device for the story, which is going to be an extended dream sequence.
So in the dream she’s found by the Kents.
Obviously since this is a dream it would be silly to look for inconsistencies, which is exactly why I’m going to do it.
Supergirl is at least 15 years younger than Superman, so you’d expect the Kents to look older than what they typically do in flashbacks, but they look younger.
Supergirl stories tend to be so ahead of their time that I often forget they’re from the 60s.
The Kents adopt Supergirl and call her Linda, because of course they do, and we repeat Superboy’s origin.
There’s something tragic in Supergirl dreaming not only to have living parents, but also friends her own age. It’s not like she knows Lana personally (yet, I’m sure they eventually meet), she just heard Superman talk about having friends back in the day!
Also, this makes the colorist confused: “Linda” is the one wearing the brunette wig, meaning the blonde one was supposed to be the redhead Lana.
Unless Supergirl is dreaming Lana as a blond because Superman hasn’t mentioned she’s a redhead?
Dream Kents are the chilliest people ever. They barely reacted when witnessing a spaceship crash, and now they treat their house being wrecked as if Supergirl dropped a plate.
If Lana Lang is Supergirl’s age in the dream, the same is true for Lex Luthor.
Supergirl’s existence is revealed to the world immediately, because there’s no Superman in the dream. And given Superman was her mentor, I’m not surprised about her view of Earth cultures.
Instead of Krypto, in the dream Supergirl gets a Super-Parrot.
Which I don’t think we get in ANY other continuity.
You’d expect Lex to become Supergirl’s nemesis, but he’s a good guy in this version!
Well duh, he has hair. Only bald people become criminals.
It’s been years, but I recall from the Supergirl retrospective that there were MULTIPLE plots about Linda winning beauty competitions… in her secret identity, not as Supergirl.But in her dream, she’s so insecure about herself that she imagines boys are making fun of her.
This is probably the most realistic part of the story.
Ah, so that’s why we never got Super Parrot.
Ironically Lex will someday unwillingly give himself cancer in order to kill Superman.
And that’s the end of the dream!
Historical significance: 0/10
The post-Crisis Supergirl will be in a relationship with Lex for a while.
She would have been better off if there was a post-Crisis version of Bob.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Does it stand the test of time? 6/10
The story is too interested in the old Silver Age trope of “look at how similar things are to the real world”, but beneath that the dream is genuinely interesting to explore.
You could turn this into an examination of Supergirl’s desire to have a family, her fear of being left alone, her insecurity about being able to fit in with humans… not to mention the conflict between how great her superhero career is and how miserable her civilian life can be.
Stuff like this is why I say that DC could have anticipated A LOT of Spider-Man’s themes, because Supergirl was doing this stuff before he was created!
