ACTION COMICS 264 (1960)
by Jerry Siegel & Jim Mooney
This story doesn’t feature Superman, but it’s a clear indication of why he’s The Worst.
The story begins with Supergirl saving a plane. It doesn’t have anything to do with the rest of the story, but not that when she has to fill a page she saves people without taking credit. When Superman needs to fill a page he does stuff like obsessing over the possibility that his neighbor’s dog suspects his secret identity or something.
The story proper begins with her orphanage welcoming some potential parents.
I don’t know much about 1960s adoption, but somehow I doubt it was as simple as showing up and saying “hello, we would like to buy a child”.
Supergirl has been mentally manipulated Superman into thinking she MUST NOT be adopted.
Her foster parents single her out because she sounds like their daughter. (!!!)
And thanks to Superman, she’s miserable at the very idea of having a new family!
You just can’t help feeling bad for Supergirl. She’s basically been blackmailed.
Turns out that her new father is a police officer, which you bet will factor into the story.
The fact that her new mother knits is significantly less important…
…but it does lead to a cute scene.
Unfortunately she hears that her father is in danger, and since she has to keep her existence a secret she has to resort to hypnotism and crossdressing.
Hey, better that than seeing Superman wearing Supergirl’s costume.
Also: if Superman knows how to use hypnotism the same way, why does he EVER have any trouble keeping a secret identity!?
But enough about action. Let’s go back to Supergirl suffering because her cousin is The Worst.
You can tell this was an experiment to see if Supergirl stories would work in a domestic setting, and I’d say that she certainly does because this is just wholesome.
Her father being a policeman also works to come up with new ways to start subplots.
Although MAYBE we’re overdoing this a little.
This story was published in 1960. If they’d kept this level of angst, they would’ve beaten Spider-Man by two whole years!
But it’s not meant to be, because the new parents decide not to adopt Supergirl.
Here we are, folks. Do you want to know why Superman is The Worst? Because without him THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN:
Yep! If Superman hadn’t warp Supergirl’s mind:
1) The parents would have a new daughter
2) They would never suffer the pain of losing a child again, whether they knew about Supergirl’s powers, because she’d be invulnerable
3) Supergirl would have parents AND we could get plots about her father’s work
Thanks to Superman, instead we get this:
1) The parents will probably never adopt another child, considering they thought they came very close to losing a girl who looks a lot like their dead daughter
2) IF they later change their mind and adopt a different girl… she might get killed because she doesn’t have powers
3) Supergirl will eventually be adopted and by the looks of things she’ll be quite happy… BUT since her parents will have unremarkable jobs, we will lose any potential plots about them
Run from that horrible man, Supergirl, run!
Or in your case fly.
Historical significance: 0/10
Like I said, she’ll be adopted by someone else entirely.
Silver Age-ness: 2/10
Just because of the random super-hypnosis and because she uses super-ventriloquism at one point.
Does it stand the test of time? -5/10
This is a first, but even Supergirl gets a negative score this time for the horrible message.
Interesting letters: this is quite wholesome, but I wonder what they thought of this issue’s story.
