LOIS LANE #76 (1967)
by unknown & Kurt Schaffenberger
This is a two-part story. I could not find a source for the credits of the first part, but since the second one is by Leo Dorfman I assume he wrote both.
We begin with Lois and Lana surfing (of all things!), when Lois finds a random bottle.
Turns out the bottle contains a genie. Straight to the point this time!
Lois doesn’t want Lana to know about this, so she just leaves the bottle behind.
If the story ended here, it’ be the greatest move in comic book history.
But no, later that night she goes back for the genie.
For once she plays it smart, wanting to wait for Superman before releasing the genie, but unfortunately she’s been around Butterfingers Jimmy Olsen too much.
Oh well. No sense wasting a genie, right?
Typically in the Silver Age, when Superman attends these kind of events we’re told they’re for charity.
This time, it’s because he wants to impress the ladies with his “super-manhood”.
Obviously everything works out as Lois wished.
It works a little too well, actually.
Lois returns to the genie to express her gratitude… but not in the way he wants.
I guess even a genie can be friendzoned.
Later Lana goes back to the place where Lois left the bottle, and of course…
Yes, this is the perfect place to reference JFK, why do you ask?
Lana wants to seduce Superman by giving him a gift: the most ostentatious set of clothes you have ever seen!!!
They’re even indestructible, and so impressive that Superman resurrects his worst catchphrase!
I guess Superman will kiss anybody for the simplest reason.
Not that Lana is any different!
The genie goes back in the bottle AGAIN, where he’s found by Lois re-enacting the cover.
These are all horrible people with very unhealthy relationship issues. Just saying.
I think this is a great opportunity to play “Guess the stupid plot twist”!
Because the genie in the bottle is not really a genie, but…
A) he’s actually Superman
B) he’s actually Mr. Mxyzptlk
C) he’s a stalker from Kandor
D) he’s a stalker from another planet
Did you guess Kandor? Because of course it’s f##ing Kandor again!
Superman proves once again why he’s The Worst.
Vitar really wants to leave Kandor to pursue either Lois or Lana. Apparently all you need to leave is ask your best friend’s fiancée!!!
How is ANYONE stuck in Kandor after this!?!?
The whole genie thing was to help Vitar decide between Lois and Lana.
I think Lois is trying to help him choose.
The opportunity arises when Lana is filming a TV special on the same hospital where Lois volunteers as a nurse (just go with it).
Superman saves both…
…or does he?
And so both Lois and Lana discover that the Kandorian has been tricking both the whole time.
And they’re both into it!!!
Yep! Lois and Lana follow Vitar to Kandor!!!
And we end on a cliffhanger! Well, relatively speaking.
Will Lois and Lana get into a menage-a-trois with an alien who ISN’T Superman?
Read the second part to find out!
Historical significance: 0/10
Did we really need the 589th Kandorian suitor?
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
At this point just say that the people of Kandor just want to stay there!!!
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
This time we don’t even pretend that Lois and Lana aren’t scheming 24/7 to trick Superman into marrying them.
Stupid Lois Lane moment
Good for Lois for not wishing Superman to marry her, but wasting a wish-granting genie on a dance? Seriously?