Action Comics #279 (1961)
by Robert Bernstein & John Forte
cover by Curt Swan
I’ve already reviewed the Supergirl story here, but while she was dealing with Lesla-Lar, Superman was also dealing with a different type of rival.
This is an Imaginary Story according to the first panel… and for no reason at all.
Seriously, I don’t see any reason why this couldn’t be part of regular continuity.
Lois and Lana would gladly marry either Samson or Hercules over Superman…
…which is SO fine with Superman that he goes back in time to get them!!!
As mentioned by Superman, this is far from the only time he meets Hercules.
He already did as early as 1944 on Superman #28, for example…
…but according to Superman’s narration, the last time HE saw Hercules was Action Comics #267.
That’s when Lex Luthor brought him to the 20th century by pointing a ray at a history book (!!!).
Apparently by taking him from the year MMCMLVI (2956) B.C.
Superman even goes as far as teaching both English (he was explicitly talking in Ancient Greek to Hercules).
While the story treats both as being from roughly the same age, if we count the previous Hercules story, Samson should be from about a thousand years later.
How kind of you, Superman.
Lois and Lana are currently busy picking flowers for some reason.
Girls, you’re not exactly doing a great job dispersing the rumor that you’re only interested in Superman’s muscles.
Not that they care, because they IMMEDIATELY accept to marry the time travelers!!!
The Silver Age, when the authorities could care less that you’re from the past but WILL make sure you don’t rush into marriage!
Also I’m pretty sure Lana is not Jewish and I’m certain that would be a big deal for Samson.
Hercules certainly wouldn’t give a crap.
Lois then proceeds to annoy Hercules to no end, by being indecisive about where to put their new house.
Not that Lana is any better.
She also DEMANDS to get a mountain lion as a pet.
Lois instead demands an ostrich…
…leading to one of the most bonkers images I’ve ever seen for this site (WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING): Hercules being kept awake by an ostrich sleeping on a hammock.
The plan was for the time travelers to get rich over movie deals, but the girls have ALREADY spent everything.
Samson gets a job to demolish a building…
…and break physics in the process.
Not that Hercules is any better.
Any story featuring Samson is apparently contractually obligated to have him lose his hair.
How dumb can the Silver Age version of this get?
Very, VERY dumb.
Is it any wonder that both Samson and Hercules BEG Superman to get them as far away from these women as possible?
I’ve said it before, but it’s basically a miracle that the human species survived the 1960s.
Historical significance: 0/10
Silver Age-ness: MMCMLVI /10
Does it stand the test of time? -60/10
This one managed to beat Detective Comics #233 in just how unbearably sexist it is… at least that one had Batwoman starting as a competent crimefighter.
Here, Lois and Lana have no redeeming quality whatsoever! Superman is not any better, deciding to inflict their shenanigans on the time travelers for no reason.
To add insult to injury, the only source of humor is the old “we all know girls are dumb and icky, right guys?” from the worst of the 60s. Bleh.
Interesting letters: I don’t know what I find more obnoxious, when the letters page is adversarial against readers or when they avoid answering by making lame jokes.
