What If… Dr. Doom Had Become The Thing? (2005)
by Karl Kesel & Paul Smith
For some reason, when Marvel tried to re-launch What If in the early 2000s they didn’t give it a proper series, but several standalone one-shots.
This one asks the question nobody asked: what if Doctor Doom was the Thing?
We begin with Reed Richards and Ben Grimm during their university years.
We then revisit Doom’s origins, going through the classic steps.
However this is the point of divergence, because this Doom actually LISTENS to Reed.
Doom and Reed nerding out together is surprisingly wholesome!
We then cut to five years later, with Reed and Doom having designed the spaceship together.
This time they actually bother giving a somewhat believable explanation for the presence of Susan and Johnny on the flight: it’s to demonstrate that it’s SO safe that even random civilians can be there. That’s a nice touch!
Don’t worry though, Doom is still his old unsufferable self.
With Doom being Reed’s best friend, Ben Grimm has moved on to other projects that we’ll see later. But Doom is STILL petty enough to try to one-up him in every way.
In this timeline, Doom is also obsessed with Susan. It’s an alternate timeline so it’s not exactly out of character, but this feels wrong every time any adaptation tries it.
It’s not handled particularly well here either.
The ship goes into space, where it’s bombarded by cosmic rays like in the original…
…and this is where the story loses me thanks to several idiotic decisions.
1) Doom KNEW the ship’s shields would be ineffective
2) he built an armor that would protect only him and nobody else
3) he fully expected everyone to die from this and get all the glory
Now… I don’t have a problem with point 1: it mimics Reed being the one to notice Doom’s mistake in the calculations, so it’s a fine reversal.
But point 2 comes out of absolutely nowhere AND point 3 is in direct contradiction with the earlier scene! If he fully expected Susan to die from this, what was the point of trying to seduce her right before launch!?!?!
Naturally the ship crashes, with the FF gaining their usual powers.
Including Doom, because instead of protecting him from cosmic rays, the armor gave him MORE cosmic rays.
So Doom becomes the Thing. A shocking twist in “What If Doctor Doom Had Become The Thing”, I know.
Good thing that A) the mask still fits B) the ship had a conveniently green fabric laying around.
Also the spaceship had a jetpack hidden somewhere? WHY!?!?
Remember when I said that Ben Grimm’s new job would come up again?
He’s working at the army site where Bruce Banner is going to test the gamma bomb…
…which leads to Ben Grimm becoming the Hulk.
I guess that “What If Doctor Doom Became The Thing And The Thing Became The Hulk And None Of It Made Sense” would’ve been too long for a title.
Even with that random jetpack, this is probably the worst Thing vs Hulk match ever.
Johnny and Susan join the fight, and in this timeline she learns how to use her force field WAY earlier.
Reed eventually manages to talk Not Hulk into turning back into Ben Grimm.
Despite Doom being the title character, the story has moved away so fast that he doesn’t even get a proper sendoff: he just flies away in the background!!!
And that’s how we end: the Fantastic Four still form, with Not Hulk being the fourth member.
It’s a nice final splash page, and I like how Doom’s mask fits the proportions of the Thing, but… I can’t help feeling the story completely skipped how the transformation affects him!!!
Did any of this show up in continuity?
Nope! Although Doom financing the trip (HOW?) does bring to mind the status of the first FF movie, but it’s probably a coincidence.
Silver Age-ness: 8/10
Even with the explanation that Doom specifically chose the day of the launch to coincide with the gamma bomb test, there’s a staggering amount of coincidences at play.
Does it stand the test of time? 2/10
This had potential. We start with “What if Doom realized Reed was right?”, which IS interesting and not explored often, but then it’s dropped. Then it becomes “What if Doom took Ben Grimm’s place?”, but then it’s dropped by having him betray the team at the very first chance with no payoff. And finally there’s “What if the Thing was the Hulk?”, another interesting angle that comes out of nowhere and goes nowhere.
What a waste. Spared a 0/10 only thanks to nice artwork and one of the best What If covers ever.