What If, by its very nature, didn’t have continuous storylines: each issue was a standalone story, with the extremely rare two-parters.
There is one massive exception: Timequake, which ran for five issues.
WHAT IF? vol.2 #35 (1992)
written by Roy Thomas & R.J.M Lofficier
pencils by Joe Phillips
Props for going back to the basics: the Fantastic Five, which are just the Fantastic Four plus Spider-Man, are from the very first What If story.
We begin with a massive infodump where Roy Thomas the Watcher explains a vital plot point: the existence of Nexus beings, which are sort of the anchors of their own timeline.
That’s from the Roy Thomas 1990 West Coast Avengers run, which I actually think isn’t bad at all despite my reservations against Thomas.
Scarlet Witch is typically described as being the Nexus of the mainstream timeline, but in this story she’s not.
These choices make no sense for being a Nexus, at least according to the definition given here: a Nexus is supposed to be the ones that prevent the alteration of time. Okay, fine.
I’ll give him Merlin, since we don’t know much about him. Sise-Neg is a Doctor Strange villain from a famous storyline from the 70s… where he travels back in time to basically become God and start the universe. Wrap your head around how that guy is supposed to stabilize time.
But KANG? Kang is the one preventing time from unraveling!? That’s like saying the Punisher is the one responsible for preventing the number of murders from skyrocketing!!!
*sigh*
Another important plot point is the existence of the Time Keepers, cosmic beings that we have previously seen dealing with Immortus (yet another alternate version of Kang).
Now they want to destroy four Nexus beings from alternate timelines before they become dangerous, and the Watcher will, well, watch them.
Okay, that takes care of the framing device for the storyline!
Wait a second, what was that?
Franklin Richards is destined to be the Nexus of this timeline, so the Time Keepers plan to murder him before he’s even born.
The rest of the story involves the Fantastic Five fighting Annihilus, and even the Watcher is like “why are you wasting everybody’s time with this?”
Except the Time Keepers then use the Doctor Doom of this dimension as a pawn to steal Annihilus’ Cosmic Control Rod.
Well at least we’re going to have an epic Doctor Doom versus Annihilus fight, right?
Nope! The fight is a stalemate until Doom is summoned by Discount Time Trapper.
How do you get Doctor Doom to agree to your child murdering plot?
By making it all about Reed Richards, of course. To be fair the idea that Reed would go completely nuts without Susan and blow up the planet is not that far-fetched, considering how many times that exact thing happens in alternate timelines.
Doom is returned to the fight, but he and Annihilus end up killing each other so this was all completely pointless.
Franklin is born, and the Time Keepers don’t even know about the existence of Discount Time Trapper just yet.
This didn’t need to involve the Fantastic Five: the fact that Spider-Man is involved is completely and utterly irrelevant.
WHAT IF? vol.2 #36 (1992)
written by Roy Thomas & R.J.M Lofficier
pencils by Dave Hoover
Oh good, the “Cosmic Avengers” are still around. Will they get to do ANYTHING this time!?
Did… did the Watcher miss the last issue? Didn’t we just waste an entire story just to get the framing device running!?
The Nexus this time is Korvac, and the Cosmic Avengers are involved because if Dave Hoover wants to draw She-Hulk he’s going to, dammit!
Don’t you just hate it when characters spend all their time explaining to the reader their origin story and gimmick?
They end up losing to the original Guardians Of The Galaxy, who have been recruited by Korvac.
They get rescued by… and I can’t believe I’m typing this… a descendant of Nick Fury who goes around wearing a fake eyepatch.
That is SO dumb and forced. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the fact that in the main continuity Nick Fury was replaced by Nick Fury Junior who also just happened to lose his left eye WAS LESS FORCED THAN THIS.
Clearly that’s prime material for being recruited by Discount Time Trapper.
To make a dumb story short, Korvac’s mind is replaced by the Vision’s and the day is saved.
WHAT IF? vol.2 #37 (1992)
by Roy Thomas & Mark Pacella
Okay this is just random.
There are two main types of What If stories: the ones that explore different outcomes of a storyline, and those that are based on a completely bonkers idea.
Guess which one we are revisiting.
Yeah, I’m sure I could probably milk this one for some jokes, but… it’s just way too ugly, I don’t want to look at this thing for more than I need.
It also features the most off-model Dormammu I’ve ever seen.
The only important thing is that the Time Variance Authority gets involved, dropping the title of the storyline. The TVA was created by Walt Simonson, so leave it to Roy Thomas to slide in a shout-out with his typical subtlety.
WHAT IF? vol.2 #37 (1992)
by Roy Thomas & Marshall Rogers
cover by Paul Ryan
This is part 4 of a 5 part storyline, and all we have learned so far is that the Time Keepers suck.
They suck so much, in fact, that one of them vanishes at the very beginning of the story because they were not able to reach their objectives in the previous parts.
Despite what they say the Time Keepers will eventually get individual names, so I like to think that the Watcher just didn’t bother looking it up.
The last Nexus to deal with is Odin, and the Time Keepers better hurry up.
The details of the Thor story are not important. Even the Watcher is just done with this whole thing… never a good sign when the dude whose sole purpose is watching everything is like “yeah I’d rather watch anything else”.
Thor ends up being saved by the various people recruited by Discount Time Trapper. 
I could honestly have just started the review from this point, but if I’m suffering through a Roy Thomas storyline I’m bringing you down with me.
After this random group helps Thor free Asgard, Discount Time Trapper is revealed to be Immortus from… well I was going to say from the main timeline, but good luck understanding where ANY version of Immortus is actually from.
Apparently this whole thing was a complicated plot to make Immortus the supreme lord of time.
Which means the fate of time itself is on the hands of the Time Variance Authority.
Yep. Time is f##ked.
The TVA has always been tongue-and-cheek, so that ending is the first moment of this entire storyline I actually enjoyed.
WHAT IF? vol.2 #37 (1992)
by Roy Thomas & Gavin Curtis
A more accurate title would be “What if the Watcher got off his butt for once”.
I’ve always enjoyed the contrast between the TVA’s unfathomable scope and their bumbling bureaucracy. Having a being of cosmic status like the Watcher in their waiting room is just perfect for their tone.
It’s also quite funny that the Watcher doesn’t seem to have a lot of respect for the TVA. Who knew he was so good at being snarky!
Confusingly, the Time Keepers are actually linked to the TVA by a convoluted link between widely different storylines. They were… WILL be created by the last TVA director at the end of time, and they are the counterparts of the evil cosmic beings called Time Twisters.
What is it with this storyline and preventing children from being born!?
I said the TVA is tongue-and-cheek, but if you too hard on the comedy it can turn them into a farce… which is exactly what Thomas is doing here.
As the TVA watches the random team assembled from the previous issues attempt an assault against Immortus, the Watcher decides that enough is enough.
His solution is to use previous incarnations of Immortus, when he used to be Kang or Rama-Tut.
Unfortunately this coincides with the revelation of Kang’s real name… Nathaniel Richards.
I absolutely HATE the idea that Kang is called Nathaniel Richards. THE ENTIRE POINT of his origin story is that he knows one of his ancestors invented a time machine but he doesn’t know WHO the inventor is… but he has THE SAME EXACT NAME of Reed Richard’s father and suspects he descends from Victor Von Doom!?
COME ON!!!!
That’s like having a guy named Albert Einstein knowing one of his ancestors was a famous scientist and wondering “Hmmm, is it possible that I’m related to Isaac Newton? Guess we’ll never know”!!!!
*groan*
The Watcher proposes to strike before “Nathaniel” becomes a threat, but the TVA has another idea: “Saturnyne symbiont”.
Aaaand now I’m lost. This is a reference to Opal Luna Saturnyne from Excalibur… but while I’m a massive Alan Davis fan, 90% of the Excalibur interdimensional shenanigans are completely impenetrable to me. I still have no idea WTF her whole deal is, let alone if she has anything to do with this “symbiont” thing in any other story.
But still SOMEONE has to infect “Nathaniel” with the symbiont, so the Watcher selects a version of the Fantastic Four… except the TVA selects a different team for absolutely no reason.
I feel your pain, “Nathaniel”.
SOMEHOW the future Immortus/Kang/Rama-Tut doesn’t trust these strangers, and unleashes his traps against them.
Most of the team is killed (!!!!) with the exception of Mister Fantastic… who, despite being inside the body of Doctor Doom in the ending of What If #6, is now inside a robot body?
Did Roy Thomas just forget the story HE wrote!?
Not that it matters, because he dies as well.
The Watcher explains the reason that particular version of the FF was defeated was that they “lacked experience”… but the team already had a number of adventures during its own What If, so I have no idea what he’s talking about.
Well CLEARLY the best option is to recruit a version of the Fantastic Four that never gained any superpowers, also from a previous What If.
AND IT WORKS.
That must be the first time the multiverse was saved by what is basically a paternity test.
Also we learn the Time Keepers we were following this entire time were actually the Time Twisters… a revelation that means nothing, especially since you wouldn’t know a lot about them in this storyline.
While it is quite fitting for the TVA to be utterly casual about the fact that the entire multiverse just came this close to being conquered by Immortus… this leans way too much on their farcical side.
Well that was a waste of everybody’s time. I should have reviewed THIS alternate Doctor Doom.
Did any of this show up in continuity?
To my eternal frustration, thanks to this storyline “Nathaniel Richards” was accepted as Kang’s actual name. I’ve always thought that “Kang” should have been his real name: he’s from an alternate future so you can name him whatever you want, plus Kang IS a real Korean or Chinese last name! Yes Kang doesn’t look either Korean or Chinese, but again: he’s from the future.
Silver Age-ness: ???/10
This was all over the place, from the 0/10 Wolverine story to the 10/10 TVA scenes… so I don’t think I can properly rate this one.
Does it stand the test of time? 2/10
Look, I don’t have anything against Roy Thomas. The guy exudes love for superheroes and comics would not have been the same without him, plus he HAS written excellent stuff.
But when he’s left on his own and he’s not restrained by an editor… oh boy.
The idea behind the crossover is excellent: a game of chess between the Time Keepers and a mysterious foe, with the Watcher slowly gethering the clues as we revisit previously seen timelines? That’s awesome! But, on the other hand… massive infodumps, characters and settings completely wasted, painful mood whiplash, bad dialogue, wildly inconsistent artwork… plus some of the lore is nearly impenetrable, especially if you’re only reading these issues!
You must have a nearly encyclopedic knowledge of the Marvel Universe to understand what’s going on. I like to think that I do have a pretty extensive knowledge about it, but even I was lost at times!!!