Legion of Super-Heroes vol4 Annual #5 (1994)
written by Tom McCraw
pencils by lots of people
cover by Stuart Immonen
This is a 56 issue special with NINE pencilers (Stuart Immonen, Curt Swan, Ron Boyd, Mark Farmer, Wade Von Grawbadger, Craig Hamilton, Jeff Moy, Ted McKeever and Colleen Doran).
Surely this is an important story and not a colossal waste of everyone’s time, right?
Right?
The framing device, which only takes up two pages (one of which is a splash page), picks up from the regular series where Lightning Lass has been turned back into a child for no reason.
So Shrinking Violet will tell her a bedtime story.
There’s a reason for this: the 1994 annuals were Elseworlds across DC Comics.
Legionnaires also has an Elseworld annual, but since that one doesn’t have a framing device that fits it in regular continuity I will review it later in this era.
The protagonist of this fairy tale is an even younger version of Lightning Lass who ends up stranded in a strange place because of the Time Bubble™.
For brevity, and since she’s not the same character, I will be calling her Ayla.
This thing is ALMOST 60 PAGES LONG, so don’t expect me to go into the specifics.
It’s a pretty overt homage to the Wizard of Oz, with Starfinger and White Witch being the primary forces of this land.
Still better versions of Starfinger and White Which than the rest of the 5YL era.
Shrinking Violet’s equivalent is a fairy accompanying Ayla…
…but for some reason Shadow Lass is an imp that only hangs out with her cousin?
For a story with NINE PENCILERS, you would think they could have found someone able to draw children decently for all Ayla’s scenes.
She meets an equivalent to Brainiac 5 who is just called 5.
Still a better name for him than his B-5 identity from the main series.
Just about as useful, though.
The Wicked Witch Of The Ripoff is the new Starfinger.
Still a better villain than the latest Starfinger.
And I would argue a strong contender for the best Starfinger design ever.
They also run into a monster who looks like Tellus and a robot who looks like Wildfire.
Still a better fate for Wildfire than what we will learn at the very end of this era.
They also run into Timber Wolf.
Still his best 5YL look.
Other obstacles include Polar Boy and Sun Boy.
Still a better rendition of Sun Boy than… you know.
I’m sorry, but your Andromeda is in another castle.
She’s the sister of The Prince, who is the guy Ayla has been looking for.
Starfinger is the reason why all the Legion equivalents are kids.
Still a better younger version of the Legion than the Legionnaires.
Most surprisingly, Block plays a minor role.
He shows up in a single page and doesn’t contribute much to the story.
Still a better understanding of Blok than half of Volume 3.
To give you an idea of how long this book is… it takes Ayle up to PAGE FORTY-THREE before she meets Starfinger.
Starfinger is eventually defeated by the doll Ayla carries around, which is the Dream Girl equivalent.
She doesn’t talk or move or do anything.
Still better versions of Dream Girl than the rest of the 5YL era.
The Prince is eventually rescued and he fixes everything.
Still a better use of Mon-El than the Valor series.
Also this whole thing was supposed to be a coming-of-age story all along. I didn’t notice it much, probably because I’ve been fighting to stay awake the whole time.
Speaking of which: this was all a dream, because the time machine just made Ayla older.
Did she? The artwork isn’t selling this revelation.
So that was, uhm, that was 54 pages.
It was also completely pointless in-universe.
And I don’t mean just because it doesn’t further the plots of the main series… it doesn’t even put the real life Ayla to sleep!!!
Legion significance: 0/10
Pay no attention to the ripoff behind the story.
Silver Age-ness: 0/10
The Silver Age had plenty of dream stories and elseworlds (as they would be classified today), but I don’t think I have EVER come across one THIS boring.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
This is completely out of my genre, and the story doesn’t even attempt to appeal to anyone who isn’t into fairy tales… which is a huge problem. I wouldn’t fault the series from trying something new; I usually love when they mix up completely different genres!
But as I hope it comes across: this story is just unbearably B-O-R-I-N-G, and the parallels to the Legion are superficial AT BEST.
It will look even worse once we compare it to the Legionnaires annual, which will also be an Elseworld but is orders of magnitude better than this.