WONDER WOMAN VOL.1 #157 (1965)
by Robert Kanigher & Ross Andru
This year marked the end of the Metal Men retrospective. So in celebration of that insanity, let’s celebrate the end of 2022 with the Kanigher&Andru team and the introduction of the worst aged Silver Age villain: Egg Fu.
I can’t imagine why this was in the teaser page and not on the cover.
If you’re only familiar with the post-Crisis version of the Amazons, you might think they’re all about magic and mythology. Which is kind of true for the Silver Age too, except they had the technology to REVERSE VOLCANOS thanks to their AS-R Beams™.
It’s been a while since I’ve read Silver Age Wonder Woman… are the Amazons immortal? Because if they are, I can understand why they wouldn’t need to test this on humans.
We begin with love interest Steve Trevor being sent on a mission so dangerous that he’s ordered to say goodbye to his loved ones, since the odds of success are so low it’s practically a suicide mission.
“You know I love your best friends, but since I’m about to die why don’t you pretend to be your best friend and go out with me” is SOMEHOW a better idea than “Please call your best friend, I need to talk to her”. WTF!?!?
The solution is obvious, right? Just say no, change into Wonder Woman and talk to him!
Seriously, if she came up with ANY excuse to just buy her FIVE SECONDS this would’ve been avoided.
Since Steve apparently believe everything she says and doesn’t suspect her identity in the slightest… why couldn’t she just say “No actually WW told me she’ll be visiting you today, just wait literally five minutes” or something?
(also: how great is Ross Andru? Just look at just how much Wondy says through her body language alone!)
Unless Steve secretly knows her identity, this is all kinds of f##ked up.
At this point you’re probably wondering: hey you promised us Egg Fu, where’s the racism?
So I give you… Kanigher’s 1965 idea of Chinese people.
Hera has given you a chance… by sending people to assassinate your boyfriend?
Honestly, if you know anything about Greek mythology, this sounds 100% like a Hera plan.
If you’re only familiar with modern interpretations of Wonder Woman, you might think she’s bulletproof. But nope, in the Silver Age she could be knocked out by a stray bullet.
You know, those totally real bullets that always avoid any vital area.
China’s invasion is thwarted by… one guy pushing their boat.
THEN THE BOAT EXPLODES!
I can’t emphasize enough how creepy Steve comes off in this situation.
He’s also just THE WORST at keeping secrets. He’s practically shouting “I’m going on a suicide mission!” every chance he gets.
Also, Wonder Woman is crying every single time we see her face. Which, from Steve’s perspective, means he was desperate to kiss his girlfriend’s best friend while she was crying the whole time.
Wonder Woman decides to follow him with the Invisible Plane. Remember that pre-Crisis Wonder Woman can’t actually fly herself… she just “jumps on air currents”, whatever the heck THAT means.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, ten pages into the story: I give you Egg Fu in all his blatantly racist glory.
Kanigher seems to be under the impression that making Egg Fu speak with Ls instead of Rs is the funniest thing ever, even in the face of NUCLEAR ANNIHLATION.
In addition to writing approximately eleven million Wonder Woman stories and Metal Men, Kanigher is most famous for his military comic Sgt. Rock. So it’s no surprise that the military aspect of the story is by far the best written one.
Also in case you’re wondering: no, Wonder Woman has not stopped crying.
Wondy’s solution is, of course, to tie up the enemy planes. When all you have is a magic lasso, every problem requires bondage.
I said the military part is the best written one, not that it’s realistic.
AND IT DOESN’T STOP THERE!!!
Wonder Woman’s solution is to PUSH THE ENEMY SUBMARINE into the line of fire!!!
Not gonna lie, that’s all kinds of badass!!!
Steve figures out that the enemy base can’t be photographed because it targets the camera itself… SOMEHOW. Honestly, this idea deserved a much better story!
Yeah I’m sure your pocket camera has enough resolution to make those pictures useful, Steve.
It really shows how insane life in the Silver Age could be when Steve doesn’t have any reaction when he meets a gigantic talking egg with moustaches that suspends him in the air with tractor beams.
The Chinese soldiers don’t find the hidden camera inside the cigarette lighter because… why the heck would anyone think to look for it there!?
Despite Steve being “pretty cool”, Egg Fu then decides to turn him into a bomb.
As you do.
So let me get this straight. You have an ICBM with a nuclear warhead… AND you can turn people into living atom bombs!? And you fire BOTH!?
Since the comic went out its way to establish the Chinese army has no respect for its soldiers… what’s even the point of the rocket?
Also you’re firing Steve from China to the US!? How fast is he traveling? HOW DOES HE SURVIVE THIS!?!?!
So Wonder Woman has to decide whether to save Steve, destroy the rocket, or to kill Steve AND destroy the rocket.
And so Steve intercepts the rocket, blows it up and murders an entire fleet by giving everyone cancer.
And now, ladies and gentlemen… with just two pages left… the comic goes absolutely bonkers.
Yes. NOW.
Because the Amazons decide to RESURRECT WONDER WOMAN FROM THE ASHES OF AN ATOMIC BLAST.
WITH MAGNETS!!!
When you saw the nuclear blast, I suppose you assumed Wonder Woman got out of the way at the last second.
But she was actually REDUCED TO ASHES and it’s STILL not enough to make her 100% dead!!!
The Amazons RESURRECT WONDER WOMAN AND STEVE… and they didn’t even know he was there!!!!
And that was just PART ONE.
Bonus before we move to part two: I don’t know all that much about the marriage traditions of the Chinese, Japanese or Celts, but I get the distinct feeling this is bulls##t.
WONDER WOMAN VOL.1 #158 (1965)
by Robert Kanigher & Ross Andru
You didn’t actually think Egg Fu could just limit himself to a small role in the first part, right?
Men are not allowed to set foot on Paradise Island. Fortunately for Steve, they’re EXTREMELY literal about it!!!
I totally understand why post-Crisis just gave Wonder Woman the power to fly, because she’s always coming up with ways to be practically flying without “technically” flying.
That’s the setup for the second part: if these two touch, even for a brief moment, they’ll explode.
That’s apparently not enough for Steve Trevor!
YOU’RE NOT HELPING, Wonder Woman!!!
They plan to use this “atomic kiss” to defeat Egg Fu. But joke’s on them, he’s into that!
And then OUT OF ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE, a meteor falls!!!
And then A PIECE OF ANTIMATTER (!!!!) destroys the meteor!!!
At first I thought this was a weapon sent by Egg Fu, but… nope! It’s completely unrelated!
IT’S RAINING ANTIMATTER and nobody finds it weird!!!
Kind of a bummer to see Egg Fu downgrade his arsenal from tractor beams and nuclear warheads to just regular soldiers.
You know I’m starting to think Kanigher has some sort of problem with Chinese people.
Oh for crying out loud WILL YOU STOP EXPLODING!?!?
A regular army is no contest against Wonder Woman, even in her less powerful Silver Age incarnation.
Oh no, giant moustaches, her one weakness!
Only in a Kanigher story I get to write “and then they are saved by an antimatter meteor”.
And then Wonder Woman BREAKS EGG FU.
And that is how the story ends.
Historical significance: 4/10
Much Wonder Woman’s dismay, some people DO remember Egg Fu.
Silver Age-ness: 4∞/10
WONDER WOMAN RESURRECTED FROM NUCLEAR ASHES!!! RANDOM ANTIMATTER METEORS!!! GIANT MOUSTACHED SUPER-INTELLIGENT EGGS!!!
Does it stand the test of time? -10/10
How close is this to the modern character? 
/10
You might expect, or perhaps hope, for me to say “what modern character?”, but… there are multiple Egg Fu!!!
Kanigher himself couldn’t resist and introduced “Egg Fu the Fifth” one year later…
…AND his copy Dr. Yes in the infamous Metal Men #20.
But there’s also a “serious” version of him from 2018, reimagined as a living weapon from Apokolips…
…AND a goofy one from Harley Quinn’s 2014 series, who looks more like a Humpty Dumpty reference.
I haven’t read any story featuring these, but it’s obvious that beyond the egg theme they have nothing to do with the original Egg Fu.
Which is completely fine by me because… you know. IT’S EGG FU.