ACTION COMICS #289 (1962)
by Jerry Siegel & Jim Mooney
I’m surprised this issue hasn’t produced a significant meme.
It’s a long way before we get there.
The cover already suggests something weird: Supergirl is surprised by how the girl Superman wants to marry looks like a grown-up Supergirl, and time travel is indeed integral to the story.
The first page has a silly scene that doesn’t actually happen in the story… Cupid, as in the roman god of love, gets ready to shoot Superman but is stopped by Supergirl.
The story properly begins with Supergirl, in her civilian identity, watching a romance movie.
This makes her worry that Superman will never propose to Lois Lane or Lana Lang and will die a bachelor. Considering she’s never met Lana and that she’s met Lois just a couple of times, maybe she doesn’t know that their Silver Age versions were psychopaths.
Despite her objection of her adopted parents, she decides to travel back in time to fix things.
Interesting style on this panel; I don’t think we ever see time travel shown this way, but I like it.
She leaves Superman a note saying she went to Ancient Troy in the day indicated in the “Time Traveling Log Book”.
It sounds silly, but it makes a certain amount of sense… since all these Kryptonians are probably breaking the space-time continuum every other Tuesday, keeping a log of who is where and when sounds legit.
Supergirl went to the past to set Superman with Helen of Troy, choosing her destination for a time when Helen was single.
Her reasoning? The mightiest man and the most beautiful woman of all time are a perfect match.
Yes, this will change history, but I guess Supergirl thinks Superman’s reaction will be something like “why not, f*ck history, she’s hot”.
Sounds legit.
When Superman shows up, Helen’s suitors attack him and they are exactly as successful as you’d imagine. But they also release a minotaur and a unicorn: will they manage to hurt the aliens?
Not really.
Also that is the least impressive minotaur I’ve ever seen.
Supergirl is celebrated as a hero for stopping the creatures and she’s asked to kill the person blamed for releasing them. But Helen insists of being the one to decide his fate.
Luckily for that random guy, Supergirl saves his life by forcing Helen’s hand (literally).
Superman just stands there and never questions why Supergirl summoned him to the past.
They return to the present, where Supergirl does some cleaning in the Fortress of Solitude as an excuse to talk about marriage.
Superman reacts quite indignantly. The fact that he doesn’t want to marry isn’t that strange, but his reasoning is completely stupid.
Supergirl decides to take him to the future of the Legion of Super-Heroes.
As in, the future of the usual future.
And they have Christmas presents for Superman and Supergirl… pictures of their dead parents.
With friends like these…
Apparently they liked it so much that they get presents for the Legionnaires: anti-gravity meteors that allow them to fly without bulky jets.
Two things.
First, is that the rock that flies “of its own free will” from Superboy 93 ?
Second, this is the future of the Legion. From their point of view, they’ve had the Legion Flight Rings ™ for years! I suppose they didn’t want Superman to feel bad so they faked being excited.
Then Supergirl makes her move, pointing out how awesome Saturn Girl is now that she’s grown into Saturn Woman.
When she shows up, Superman is smitten.
Although I don’t get why he’s so surprised by how she looks: they met in Superman 147 which was published just a few months earlier!
But apparently he likes Saturn Woman so much that they immediately go for the kiss, thanks to some mistletoe strategically placed by Supergirl.
Twice!
This makes Lightning Man jealous, since he’s her husband!
This is awesome and hilarious in so many ways.
First and foremost, this is the first time we’ve been shown the relationship between Saturn Girl and Lightning Lad. That’s arguably THE fundamental Legion romance, and it’s shown in a throwaway scene like this!
Second, apparently Saturn Woman is okay with passionately kissing Superman twice in front of her husband.
Third, since she’s a telepath, did she know that Supergirl orchestrated the whole thing but didn’t say anything to get the chance to kiss Superman?
Fourth, Supergirl throwing shade at Phantom Girl with that “she’s probably single”!
Fifth, and most importantly, both Supergirl and Superman missed the opportunity: they just met two married and successful superheroes! It should be enough to convince Superman that he can still be an effective hero even if he marries!
Strangely enough Triplicate Girl isn’t shown in the future, despite sharing the same first appearance of Phantom Girl.
That’s a pity, the gag of Superman kissing one of her duplicates while another one is with her husband pretty much writes itself!
Once back in the present, Supergirl confesses her plan to Superman.
Which of course leads to…
Okay, okay, here’s the real panel:
Judging by Supergirl’s face, she’s not exactly okay with this. Possibly because the placement of his hand makes the panel a bit creepy, not helped by the fact that according to the letter published in Action Comics 267, he’s supposed to be old enough to be her father! Would he still marry her if it wasn’t for that Krypton law?
But Supergirl still thinks she can find him a wife, this time thanks to one of the supercomputers in the Fortress of Solitude.
And it works! In the next panel Superman flies to planet Staryl and immediately falls in love with a woman (whose initials are of course L.L.) who looks like a grown-up Supergirl!
He’s known her for LITERALLY TWO PANELS and already proposes!!!
So maybe meeting the married Legionnaires really DID have a lasting impression on him!
But as soon as they arrive in Earth’s solar system, his fiancée immediately feels weak.
Why? Because yellow suns are like Kryptonite to people who live under orange suns!
Sounds legit.
I don’t think we ever see Luma Lyna again, so I’m going to assume she eventually died due to exposure to yellow sunlight.
Supergirl has learned her lesson: she won’t try to meddle in his romantic life ever again.
And despite being tempted two panels later to set him up with Cleopatra…
…she dodges the cliché and demonstrates that she actually HAS learned her lesson.
Historical significance: 5/10
I think Supergirl does keep her promise to stay away from Superman’s romantic life, so in a sense it has more significance that it should have.
Legion significance: 8/10
The romance between Saturn Girl and Lightning Lad gets established here.
While this isn’t the first appearance of the Adult Legion, it’s the first time we see a significant amount of Legionnaires. This future will eventually be considered canon to the rest of the Legion and will slowly turn into a big deal.
Silver Age-ness: 8/10
Oh dear. Casual time travel, Superman’s instance on staying single, and of course the random effects of random star colors.
Does it stand the test of time? 6/10
Kind of? It’s obviously a light-hearted adventure not meant to be taken too seriously, but Supergirl learning to mind her own business and actually sticking to the moral of the story could easily be adapted to a current story.
Superman NOT getting the blatantly obvious lesson about happily married superheroes, on the other hand…