LOIS LANE #38 (1963)
Writer: Unknown
Penciler: Kurt Schaffenberger
Leaving aside the questionable wording on the cover, this is an interesting premise.
No bets on whether they screw it up.
We begin with the Daily Planet receiving thousands of Valentine cards for Superman, so we can guess what kind of newspaper they’ve become.
Despite the silly premise, Superman reacts in a realistic way: flattered but recognizing that those women are only after his fame.
But since that was a somewhat smart moment, it’s time for something stupid.
Yep. There’s Red Kryptonite in one of the cards.
HOW!?
This goes completely unexplained in the story! There’s simply radioactive space dusts on a piece of paper!!!
Superman flies away since he doesn’t know what kind of effects he’s about to suffer, while Perry White raises an interesting question: is Lois really in love with Superman?
Superman comes across a robbery, where one of the criminals throws a grenade at him.
AND IT WORKS.
Red Kryptonite took away Superman’s invulnerability at the wrong possible time, leaving him severely wounded. It’s pretty telling that Lois’ first reaction isn’t “this is terrible, you’ll never recover from those wounds”, but instead “this is terrible, you’re an ordinary man now”.
Don’t feel bad for him, though, because SUPERMAN IS A DICK.
That’s right: he will fully recover in 48 hours, but he’s going to exploit this to see if Lana and Lois really love him.
You’re just the worst, Superman.
He’s also going to be almost blind, as far as they know.
Perry is once again the voice of reason: now that he doesn’t have powers anymore, Superman is going to need money.
Despite Lois and Lana continuing to show their support, he’s still fixated on exploiting the situation.
Just look at that bastard’s smile.
Since Superman hasn’t recovered his super-hearing yet, he secretly places a recorder to spy on them, and that’s when one of the two drops a bomb: she’s not really interested in him as a person.
But was it Lois or Lana?
We don’t get to know because next panel:
ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME!?
Look, I’m not exactly a fan of Silver Age Lois Lane as a person, or Lana Lang for that matter.
But Superman has some SERIOUS issues.
Historical significance: 0/10
Considering this is a dream…
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Take a wild guess why, other than everything.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
This is Superman at one of his manipulative worst moments, and THAT’S saying something!
Stupid Lois Lane moment
Considering that only the Lois of the very first and last panels is the real one… her stupid moment is still having feeling for a piece of s#it like Silver Age Superman.
Kryptonite, baby
There’s ridiculously easy to find Kryptonite, and then there’s Red Kryptonite on a Valentine card.
Interesting letters: does this mean that Professor Potter could easily reform Lex Luthor?
