ADVENTURE COMICS 317 (1964)
by Edmond Hamilton and John Forte
Dream Girl graces our cover, together with some classic Silver Age toddlers who speak like cavemen.
We begin with Saturn Girl calling all members of the Legion back to Earth in order to make the quorum for a regular meeting.
Was this always a rule? Or was the Legion just lucky to have enough people around during the previous meetings?
Even those busy in very important mission, such as carving an alien Mount Rushmore…
(for some pretty goofy aliens, by the way)
…to the survey of a world devastated by an atomic war.
So THIS is what Star Boy has been doing since his introduction!
But by far the most significant mission involves Superboy and Mon-El, because it’s the introduction of the Time Trapper and his Iron Curtain Of Time!
Full disclosure: the Time Trapper is my favorite Legion villain.
Almost entirely thanks to the 80s, because in the Silver Age proper… he kind of sucks.
He doesn’t make an appearance here, though, he’s just mentioned.
The Iron Curtain of Time is a very interesting concept. As of now it prevents the Legionnaires from traveling past 30 days into their future, which is necessary from a storytelling perspective since there are multiple Legionnaires who can time travel on their own: otherwise, what’s stopping them from going to the future to check how to solve the current problem?
It does, however, cause some problem with the fact that Superman and Supergirl were previously capable of visiting the Legion’s future.
But keeping the Time Trapper a complete mystery may be the main reason for why he endured as a threat.
But enough about that, it’s audition time! And it’s a memorable one.
We start with who is, BY FAR, the worst candidate: Rann Antar.
He doesn’t get a codename. I suggest “Completely Useless Lad”.
Forget the fact that it’s not a superpower. It’s not anything! Its only use is to shoehorn Star Boy’s new power.
But the real treat is the next applicant: Dream Girl!
Whose power is not, despite all appearances, fanservice.
Saturn Girl is understandably unimpressed by the power of dreaming, but Dream Girl drops another bombshell (besides herself): she can dream the future.
The guys are naturally really interested in the strategic importance of her boobs.
I mean her dreams.
Dream Girl takes a quick nap and foresees two emergencies that are about to happen.
Now that he’s finally a regular Legionnaire, Star Boy is eager to prove himself to get some.
I mean some recognition.
Both him and Superboy deal with the menaces predicted by Dream Girl, proving that her precognitive powers are real.
Dream Girl is officially voted in, even if she only gets votes from the guys.
If this trend extended to the missing members (including the missing girls, Supergirl and Phantom Girl), it wouldn’t change anything. Excluding Dream Girl, there are currently 15 guys and 6 girls.
That’s quite shallow for the girls, but what I do like is that this doesn’t prevent them from working with Dream Girl. In fact, after another attempt to overcome the Iron Curtain Of Time fails…
…Saturn Girl asks Dream Girl to help.
Except her power doesn’t work like that.
That’s a reasonable response, but it looks like Dream Girl is kind of a b#tch.
The girls enjoy some revenge against the guys who were drooling over Dream Girl, but they get a taste of b#tchiness quite soon.
Especially poor Lightning Lass…
…who ends up being expelled!
And that’s when the drama begins. I’m surprised we don’t jump to hair pulling .
Yet.
Dream Girl is acting so suspiciously that Matter Eater Lad asks for a second opinion, specifically from Brainiac 5.
But instead of suspecting Dream Girl is trying to destroy the Legion, Brainiac 5 assumes she’s working for someone else.
The smartest man in the universe, ladies and gentlemen.
At least he doesn’t say it’s because she’s a girl, so 2960s Brainy is still ahead of 1960s Reed Richards.
Matter Eater Lad notices that Dream Girl almost sits in Chameleon Boy’s place, but nothing comes from it, at least for now.
Saturn Girl tries to put Dream Girl on a mission away from the guys, but she gets a premonition.
And what do you know, she predicts a menace.
And what is the danger from this aurora, you may ask?
The answer is… the cover image.
Superboy arrives too late to help them. He’s not affected by the aurora because of his invulnerability, but Dream Girl throws the book at the baby Legionnaires.
So… about that “mentally unfit” clause… can we use it to void Elastic Lad’s honorary membership? Please?
Superboy is suspicious of Dream Girl, but he’s busy entertaining the babies in the most boring way imaginable.
Meanwhile, Matter Eater Lad noticed that Dream Girl started signing “Chameleon Boy” on the spaceport log.
January 11th 2964 will be a Wednesday, by the way.
The evidence is increasing: is Dream Girl actually Chameleon Boy?
Nope!
You don’t need precognition to predict Dream Girl’s reaction to this.
But it turns out it was all just an act.
She predicted that seven Legionnaires would die in a spaceship accident, and she tried to change that even if her dreams are always 100% accurate.
You see, the Legion keeps around ships manned by android doubles of the Legionnaires for cheap drama to confuse criminals.
And that’s the end of the story: her effort to save the Legion turns out to be unnecessary, since no Legionnaire was destined to die.
Since the de-aging is only temporary, the only permanent effect is Lightning Lass losing her powers. Except… she didn’t: she was just changed to Light Lass.
Much to my surprise, Dream Girl does not join the Legion!
This is technically speaking the team’s first resignation.
Even more surprisingly, she won’t officially join the team for another 34 issues.
Legion significance: 8/10
The story is nothing to write home about, but it does introduce a lot of Legion lore: Dream Girl, the Iron Curtain of Time, Star Boy becomes a regular, the Time Trapper is mentioned (he won’t appear for another 21 issues), the new powers of Light Lass.
Silver Age-ness: 6/10
The age-changing aurora and the Silver Age baby speak are enough to date this.
Does it stand the test of time? 6/10
This is a tough one. The story has quite a few contrivances, especially in how easily Dream Girl manages to disrupt the Legion’s operations under their noses. I know Saturn Girl doesn’t read her mind because it’s an invasion of privacy, but can’t she remember she basically pulled the same stunt before? The “battle of the sexes” is also a little contrived, but I’m willing to give it a pass because 1) these are teenagers 2) they at least TRY to reason with each other 3) I have seen much, much, much worse. Despite future portrayals Dream Girl doesn’t come off like a bimbo and she’s actually quite resourceful. All in all, the negatives are balanced by enough positives.
We are legion
15 active in this story: Saturn Girl, Light Lass, Brainiac 5, Star Boy, Mon-El, Superboy, Triplicate Girl, Bouncing Boy, Matter Eater Lad, Sun Boy, Ultra Boy, Shrinking Violet, Chameleon Boy, Cosmic Boy
5 not appearing but officially members: Colossal Boy, Invisible Kid, Phantom Girl, Supergirl, Element Lad
1 resigned member: Dream Girl
1 honorary member: Elastic Lad
How much Legion is too much?
With Dream Girl joining the Legion reaches 22 members, even if she resigns before the end of the story.
Legion rejects: 16
Adding Rann Antar, a.k.a. “Completely Useless Lad”.
Interesting letters: apparently in 1964 all you needed to make a comic book credible was use Hitler, Nero and Dillinger for your time travelling story.
