ADVENTURE COMICS 307 (1963)
by Edmond Hamilton and John Forte
The story of Mystery Lad, who has a secret power and one of the worst costumes you’ve ever seen.
Not because of the pink, mind you, but because he look like he’s wearing a diaper.
We begin in space, with pirates attacking a planet full of valuable loot.
We’re still in the 21st century, by the way.
They’re after some “Cold light globes”, which are… I have no idea.
They are valuable enough for the locals, however, since they don’t seem to have any idea how to build new ones.
Sun Boy’s solution is to HEAT UP A MOUNTAIN UNTIL IT GLOWS.
That doesn’t sound environmentally friendly. Or sane.
But the Legion has other problems: the one-man rockets used by the pirates are faster than their ship. That’s fair, I mean, it’s not like the Legion already has three members who can fly so fast they travel through time, right?
But maybe they’re all on missions, since apparently there’s quite a shortage of available Legionnaires.
Which means it’s audition time AGAIN, for the third issue in a row.
It looks like the Legion is desperate to find new members.
Not SO desperate to accept this guy, luckily.
Just to give you an idea of how lame he is: not only he never appears again, he’s not even given a NAME. Green Kid? Camouflage Kid?
Next!
This guy doesn’t get a name either, despite being on the cover.
And his power is that he’s a camera. I find it hilarious that this is set in the 21st century, since in the real 21st century everyone already carries around a camera at all times.
Next?
Thankfully, the Legion doesn’t let Mystery Lad join without demonstrating his powers.
Saturn Girl vouches for him, so he’s allowed to join the team.
Sounds a little rushed… couldn’t they at least know WHY his power must remain a secret? Or at the very list confirm that his power isn’t mind control?
Brainiac 5 is able to replicate the one-man rockets used by the space pirates, allowing the Legion to pursue them.
These rockets are pretty useful, but they have a major drawback: if you drive one, you look absolutely ridiculous.
Once they find the pirates, some of the Legionnaires fight them while Cosmic Boy’s magnetic powers HOLD UP AN ENTIRE CITY.
Invisible Kid’s contribution is… forgetting to become visible.
But most members are only interested into finding out Mystery Lad’s power.
Is it invulnerability?
No, it’s not invulnerability.
Next stop in their pursuit of the pirates: a dead planet full of alien statues of corroded silver.
Which is green, apparently.
They are ambushed and Mystery Lad has to use his power to save Saturn Girl’s life.
Is it super-strength?
No, it’s not super-strength.
Saturn Girl picks up the thoughts of the pirates: they recognize Mystery Lad.
Could he be a spy?
Unfortunately she can’t read his mind.
Is his power telepathic immunity?
No, it’s not telepathic immunity. We’re never told WHY she can’t read his mind.
The pirates lead the Legion towards a binary star, where they ambush them by throwing an asteroid at them.
An asteroid that Mystery Lad vaporizes JUST BY LOOKING AT IT.
Is his power heat vision?
You know the drill.
Saturn Girl’s suspects may be true, though, since Mystery Lad deserts the Legion.
But it’s for a good reason… kind of.
He’s the one the pirates are looking for and surrenders to save the other Legionnaires.
Which is noble and all, but considering that the pirates haven’t been able to harm them so far, it sounds a little bit premature.
Meanwhile Mystery Lad surrenders to the pirate leader Roxxas, who has been looking for him because he can make his organization unfathomably rich.
How? Because he comes from a planet where EVERYONE has transmutation powers!
As you might imagine, this makes his people one of the most powerful species in the entire universe. Truly a force to be reckoned with, a planet that will put up a fight against anyone who dares to attack it.
Or not.
Yes. An entire planet full of people who can transmute matter is killed by a bunch of pirates.
With guns. Which are made of matter.
Again… the ENTIRE PLANET is slaughtered with one, just ONE survivor.
I’m not saying these people are invincible, but come on!!! I can understand killing one, maybe even a whole city, but the ENTIRE PLANET!?
Admittedly, Roxxas says that only few people had this power. But I still call bulls#it considering that:
A) this will be contradicted in every other reference to planet Trom
B) just 3 or 4 people would’ve been enough to defeat the invasion
And just in case you think Roxxas is some kind of tactical genius, once he has Mystery Lad in his hands his plan to deal with him is…
Nothing. He has no plan. Against a guy who can EVAPORATE HIS SHIP.
So… Mystery Lad’s power is to transmute matter. According to the comic, we had all the clues we needed to guess it!
I mean it’s TECHNICALLY true, but it’s a bit of a stretch to say we were supposed to figure it out by looking at the colors.
As for why Mystery Lad isn’t dead, you can thank Invisible Kid for it.
Which is yet another tease for Lightning Lad’s return.
So Mystery Lad joins the Legion as Element Lad, with Cosmic Boy vowing to keep his powers a secret to the rest of the galaxy.
Spoiler alert: everyone immediately forgets it’s supposed to be a secret.
Legion significance: 5/10
Element Lad will become a major member of the team, a powerhouse with a really creative and unusual power, not to mention a very complex and deep characterization.
And with better costumes, but it’s really hard to have one worse than the original.
That should lead to a higher significance… but future retellings of his origin will keep almost nothing from this story.
Roxxas will also return a couple of times, where the massacre of planet Trom will be given SOME resemblance to logic. I much prefer the post-Zero Hour reboot that makes him a Daxamite, though.
Silver Age-ness: 4/10
Roxxas and his goons are cartoonishly evil and the Legionnaires are really naïve, bordering on stupid. That being said… there’s at least SOME internal consistency, and while it’s nothing special the tragedy if Element Lad’s origin is given SOME weight.
Does it stand the test of time? 4/10
Element Lad has all the elements (pun intended) of a tragic and deep figure… but that’s just potential in this issue, which wastes much of its time with the formula of “is this his power / no it’s not his power”, which gets old REALLY fast.
We are legion
- 8 active in this story: Cosmic Boy, Brainiac 5, Sun Boy, Invisible Kid, Saturn Girl, Bouncing Boy, Colossal Boy, Element Lad
- 9 not appearing but officially members: Superboy, Chameleon Boy, Phantom Girl, Triplicate Girl, Supergirl, Shrinking Violet, Ultra Boy, Mon-El, Matter-Eater Lad
- 1 unknown: Star Boy as usual
- 1 deceased: Lightning Lad
How much Legion is too much?
With the arrival of Element Lad, the Legion now includes of 18 members.
Legion rejects: 11
“Camouflage Kid” and “Camera Lad”, who are so lame they don’t even get names. When you make Stone Boy sound useful, you know you’ve hit the bottom.
Also: the number of rejects is now more than half the number of real members!
Interesting letters: praise for how Lightning Lad’s death was handled.
I wonder how they felt about the constant tease of his return.
