SUPERMAN #147 (1961)
by Jerry Siegel & Curt Swan
Take a guess what the cover is referencing.
We start with Lex Luthor in prison, building… oh for f#$k’s sake, ANOTHER time machine built with scraps!? What is this, the fourth time already!?
Okay it’s not TECHNICALLY a time machine, just a device to send a message into the future.
Specifically, to the Legion of Super-Villains.
Never heard of them? Neither has Luthor! He just assumed they had to exist.
That’s actually legit.
And soon enough he meets the LSV, who say they come from the 21st century.
And so we quickly get their origins. Since their design is VERY clearly based on the Legion’s founders you would assume they have the same powers, but there’s a glaring exception: Cosmic King, despite looking like Cosmic Boy, has transmutation powers instead of magnetism.
After gaining his powers in a science accident, he was banished from Venus because Venutians consider transmutation “evil”.
I have no idea WHY.
Then there’s Saturn Queen, who has the power of “super-hypnotism”. Strange that she explicitly mentions that people of Saturn “can perform amazing mental feats”, which would be consistent with the entire population being telepaths (as will become the norm in future stories).
But the most significant member BY FAR is Lightning Lord, who is actually the brother of Lighning Lad. We get his origin story and, at the same time, the origin of Lightning Lad himself!
Lightning Lord and Lightning Lad… I have a feeling I will mix up their codenames every time Lord appears…
We will see this origin narrated again and again, with several additions. Interestingly, there is no mention of their sister, who will become a major member of the Legion, being present as well.
Also the Beast of Korbal has a completely different look every time we get a flashback of this origin. I wonder if it’s a shapeshifter as well; you never know with aliens.
Luthor’s reaction: “wait, you were zapped by lightning and survived!?”
Oh so NOW you want to bring scientific plausibility into the DC Universe, mister “I build a time machine out of spare parts every Tuesday”!? Not to mention that people DO survive lightning strikes in real life!
While Luthor is forging an alliance with LSV, Superman is busy with his project… ORPHAN CITY.
Supes… I know your heart is probably in the right place, but… how is this going to work?
Are all the orphans in America going to live in Orphan City? Who is going to work there, are you going to have the personnel of other orphanages transfer there?
Are ALL these buildings suitable to be used as orphanages? Is the ENTIRE city going to be made out of orphanages? How are you going to supply them with water, electricity, food and so on?
Did you spend more than five minutes thinking about this!?
NO wonder it gets destroyed in the very next panel!
Lightning Lord even takes a bus hostage, threatening Superman to harm civilians unless he leaves.
So the next day, at the Metropolis Fair… wait, “NEXT DAY”? You mean Superman just LEFT!?
Yes! I didn’t skip any panel! Someone blows up buildings in a city FULL OF ORPHAN CHILDREN, then threatens to electrocute civilians, and Superman just freakin’ LEFT TOWN!!!
Cosmic King attacks him, trapping Superman beneath a statue that he turns into Kryptonite.
So… Superman is dead, right? I mean, he’s trapped beneath a giant statue of Kryptonite by people who want to kill him.
Except Cosmic King is apparently an idiot because he just leaves, allowing the civilians to just pull Superman from beneath the statue and bring him to safety.
I really like the idea of the people of Metropolis rushing to save Superman and being effective.
On the other hand… come on, Cosmic King has NO reason to leave the scene! He could’ve transmuted the entire street into Kryptonite and killed him right there!
Or he could’ve attacked Superman together with Lightning Lord! With Superman weakened by Kryptonite, maybe he could’ve killed him. The villains have no reason to attack one at a time, let alone in different days! I know they are referencing the first Legion story, but come on!
Giving that power to Cosmic King with no drawbacks was a huge mistake.
Next day, a monster kidnaps Lois. No big deal, happens every other Thursday.
Turns out it’s just an illusion to lead Superman into a trap.
And so Superman is captured by the Legion of Super-Villains.
In a nice touch, the cover image actually makes it into the story!
Oh, and Luthor is there too. I really don’t know what he brings to the table, he’s done nothing to help the LSV so far.
The Legion of Super-Heroes, specifically the adult counterparts of its founders, arrive to save Superman. Interesting, he says he hasn’t met them since they were teenagers, but that’ll be contradicted in the future (pun intended).
As the two teams fight, Luthor threatens to kill Superman by increasing the exposure to Kryptonite.
I guess his contribution to the team was building that stasis field, but that sounds unnecessary when Cosmic King can already create Kryptonite out of thin air.
Luthor has to twist the knife, asking the Legionnaires if they are brave enough to volunteer to die in Superman’s place. They draw straws to see who is going to be sacrificed.
If you had a feeling this is when the story turns stupid, you were 100% correct.
Get this: Luthor agrees to free Superman…
…who builds a shovel to scoop up fragments of Saturn’s ring…
…to build a new ring around the planetoid where the Legion is currently hostage…
…which turns Saturn Queen into one of the good guys, paralyzing the villains.
SAY WHAT!?
SERIOUSLY!?
The bit about Superman keeping his word is cute, but this comes out of nowhere! Why would Superman just assume the people of Saturn don’t have crime because of its ring? There could’ve been so many other reasons and you risked everything on that one incredibly unlikely theory!?
At least he says that the rings make “Saturn’s people” turn to the good side, so we can pretend it doesn’t work on Earth people and convince ourselves he hasn’t thrown away the cure for crime.
Luthor isn’t very happy about how things turned out.
In case you wondered why Luthor never tried this scheme again: he did, but the last panel informs us about that turned out.
The moral of the story: Metropolis jail, STOP ALLOWING LUTHOR NEAR SCRAPS!!!!! What is wrong with you!?
Bonus story: Krypto the Super-Dog versus Titano the Super-Ape.
It starts with Superman performing for charity with Krypo.
After this “exciting” battle (which is only Superman throwing a punch at nothing), he’s asked about the toughest creature he ever fought, and he has a clear answer: Titano.
He recaps his origin story: Titano was a chimpanzee sent into space where he was turned into a giant monster that shoots Kryptonite from his eyes and kidnaps Lois Lane, because Silver Age.
Which lead to Superman throwing him into the past, because f#%k the space-time continuum.
Krypto finds all of this as interesting as any dog would. Who would blame him?
Krypto doesn’t find the bone, because Titano might have stomped on it in the past.
Don’t ask how THAT works.
Admittedly, it COULD mean that Titano crushed the bone before Superman sent him to the past, but how long has that bone been there?
Which leads to Krypto TRAVELING BACK IN TIME TO GET HIS BONE.
Ah, Silver Age DC. Whenever I think you were a mistake, you bring up a dog flying through time and a giant chimp fighting dinosaurs.
AND said dog using heat vision to turn a mountain into a mirror (WTF!?) to trick said chimp into fighting himself? Okay now you’re showing off!
Unfortunately Krypto forgot a tiny detail about Titano: HIS EYES SHOOT DEATH LASERS.
But don’t worry, DC wouldn’t show us a dog dying of radiation poisoning (at least NOT TWICE), so Krypto is saved by a pterodactyl.
And the two even become friends!
But apparently this wasn’t Silver Age enough, so… aliens attack!
Specifically, aliens who want to kidnap Titano and Krypto for… reasons, I guess?
Actually, I guess that’s only what Krypto thinks, because judging by what the aliens say they were just here to colonize Earth.
So Krypto tricks Titano into shooting his Kryptonite rays at the ship, convincing the aliens that Earth is radioactive and making them leave.
And Krypto gets back to the present, leaving Titano alone.
Historical significance: 6/10
The revelation that the Legion of Superheroes will continue to exist until its members reach adulthood won’t be used much in Superman stories, but it’s something.
The Kryto story also has significance: it references both Titano’s first and second appearances. No specific issues are mentioned (for the record, they are Superman #127 and #138), but in the Silver Age at least it’s something.
Legion significance: 7/10
First origin of Lightning Lad, first appearance of his older brother (although Lightning Lord won’t have a huge impact on him, at least in this continuity), and first “Adult Legion”.
Silver Age-ness
Main story: 8/10
The origins of Cosmic King and Saturn Queen, Luthor’s time radio, Orphan City…
Krypto story: 10/10
Do you have to ask!? It’s two super-animals fighting aliens in the past, and one of them is a giant chimpanzee that shoots Kryptonite!
Does it stand the test of time? 5/10
The LSV can’t decide if it wants to be creative of stupid in its use of super-powers, then it settles for stupid. The villains having every opportunity to kill Superman and repeatedly not doing it for no reason has aged terribly.
Time travel doesn’t work like that
I’ll cut some slack to the LSV not knowing that they wouldn’t manage to kill Superman, since they say a lot of late history has been lost.
Krypto burying a bone in the present only for Titano to step on in the past, though…
A thousand years in the future, you say?
Actually, one of the very rare cases when the Legion is said to be from the 21st century.
When apparently there were supposed to be people on Venus and Saturn.
Kryptonite, baby
All over the place! Kryptonite transmutation, Kryptonite stasis field and Kryptonite laser eyes.
Dumbest moment
Soooo many choices!
There’s a case for Orphan City, which gets dumber the more I think about it, but it’s only one panel.
There’s Cosmic King not killing Superman with Kryptonite, but we don’t really know him, so he might as well be an idiot. Giving him that ability is arguably dumber.
It might be Superman figuring out how to cure Saturn Queen almost out of nowhere, or Luthor and the LSV giving him the benefit of the doubt when he wants to be left free.
But I think the dumbest moment is Superman leaving Orphan City at the mercy of a super-villain without showing any sort of hesitation.
I’m with Grumpy Luthor on that one.
