I know I said I was going to stop combining multiple Legion stories in a single review, but I had no idea the “Legion on the run” storyline would be this long… and this bad.
Legion of Super-Heroes vol4 #55 (1994)
by Tom McCraw & Stuart Immonen
When I first read Zero Hour, I had absolutely no knowledge of this era.
So when I saw a hero called “Green Dragon” with a very weird costume, I assumed he must have been a minor hero introduced who knows where.
Little did I know that this character came from the Legion, specifically in “Enter The Dragon”.
We begin with Spider-Girl having been injured.
Once she wakes up, she becomes the narrator of a couple of scenes. Which are about the Legion going back to Rimbor, Ultra Boy’s native planet, which hasn’t been seen since issue 3.
The Legion is here just to get a place to hide: Ultra Boy is going to leave in order to investigate the death of Phantom Girl, and he has some choice words for Spider-Girl.
That was harsh, but I agree with Ultra Boy: she’s been INCREDIBLY annoying.
I’m struggling whether I should consider her a Legion member. She was explicitly offered membership a few issues ago, but her response was just “I’ll think about it”; and since the Legion currently has more important things to deal with, if she changed her mind her membership hasn’t been made official.
I’m currently leaning towards her NOT being a member, based on the lack of any official in-universe recognition of her status. I know a few external sources list her, but I focus on the stories.
There’s a reason why Ultra Boy was never in the Espionage Squad: he’s immediately caught in a fight between his old gang and a rival one.
If I did count Spider-Girl as a member, she would be among the most ineffective ones ever.
She eventually escapes, recruiting the Legion to free Ultra Boy who was also captured.
You’re putting WILDFIRE in charge of the rescue mission!? Listen, I love the guy, but that is a TERRIBLE idea!!!
All the Legion disguises of this arc suck, but the most nonsensical one just has to be Spider-Girl.
As a reminder, she’s not from a planet where everyone has prehensile hair… it’s just her.
But I guess people won’t suspect that a second woman with ten feet of prehensile hair can’t possibly be her, if her hair is blue.
I should point out that the Legion had the entire Galaxy to pick a place where to hide, and Universo found them IMMEDIATELY.
Don’t worry guys, you don’t stick out in the slightest.
I should point out that this plan COULD work, given how diverse the population of a given 30th century planet is… if only you guys didn’t go around in a group that includes the very recognizable Wildfire and the most attention-grabbing dye job ever.
All the team manages to accomplish is be ambushed by a double splash page.
We also learn that “Green Dragon” is just Ultra Boy in disguise.
This is part of a complicated plan to stop the gang wars of Rimbor.
But even THAT was just a front to gather the various gangs, to allow the Legion to stop them all.
I’d be lying if I said I was able to follow all this.
Now that she’s reverted to a teenager, all White Witch is apparently useful for is seducing people; this allows Shrinking Violet to access government secrets.
In other plots, Dawnstar is looking for closure on the completely botched Bounty storyline.
On the plus side, the Encyclopedia Galactica is back!!!
She’s got a point: she lost her wings, how much worse could it possibly get!?
Well if this was the Giffen era I wouldn’t put it past this series to sever additional limbs, but we’re past that.
This ritual involves Dawnstar confronting old threats, like a stampede from her youth and a fight from like two weeks ago.
It’s a good thing she was never in any danger whatsoever during her Legion membership, or this would be a bit shortsighted.
She also confronts having been a TERRIBLE love interest.
I’m very glad the series eventually recognizes her horrible behavior; I just wish this was in a better story.
But she also confronts her time spent as Bounty.
This could have meaning if we knew what exactly Bounty was supposed to be, but spoiler alert: we NEVER find out!!!
Does Dawnstar defeat Bounty with the amulet her father gave her because it has powers?
Does it work because she finds her inner strength?
Is this even the real Bounty or something in Dawnstar’s mind?
Was Bounty ever real?
Does ANYONE care???
no pages with The Grid
22 pages without a grid
no splash pages
1 double splash page
no text pages
Legion of Super-Heroes vol4 #56 (1994)
by Tom McCraw & Stuart Immonen
Unfortunately, unleashing Brainiac 5 won’t involve getting him out of this atrocious costume.
We begin with the Legion in the sewers.
There’s a metaphor for this era in there.
The 5YL Brainiac 5 has been such a constant disappointment that I’m starting to wonder if he suffered from dementia even before he was aged by Glorith.
You built better stuff than this when you were a teenager, Brainy!
The Legion keeps fighting the gangs, including those who are supposed to be allies.
On top of everything else, Cosmic Boy is getting increasingly violent and unstable.
Must be the goatee.
If you were confused by this whole gang plot… first of all join the club, but Ultra Boy provides a summary to get you up to speed.
I BARELY noticed he was supposed to have left the team, but apparently it was SO serious that he had to come up with all of that JUST to force his friends to help.
At the very least, the other Legionnaires highlight what a stupid decision this was.
This somehow ties back to the Khunds.
This results on the Legion taking on Rimbor’s planetary government.
Out of the 2,977 plots left hanging by this era, the priority was obviously given to the Rimbor situation from the second issue.
Not only “Green Dragon” had a terrible look, it doesn’t even last long as a disguise.
Ultra Boy doesn’t even get to finish his own fight.
The Legion exposes the Khund conspiracy to the public, and then they just leave.
We close with the promise of an actual plot for Lightning Lass…
…and Dream Girl having a vague premonition.
In other plots, the Science Police is investigating a new Time Beacon.
They find something disturbing there. Well, it would have been disturbed before 5YL, at this point I’m desensitized.
no pages with The Grid
24 pages without a grid
no splash pages
no text pages
Legion of Super-Heroes vol4 #57 (1994)
by Tom McCraw & Christopher Taylor
cover by Stuart Immonen
Ah yes, that’s what this series really needed at this point… the return of the Khund Legionnaires.
And of the terrible Taylor artwork! This is going to be painful, isn’t it?
We get a glimpse of several members of Legion Academy, most of which will never be heard from again. I did like the design of this one, whoever she is.
The fact that Legion Academy is still able to operate is weird. We saw that the United Planets were so thorough in their persecution that they are closely monitoring every old associates, including planetary leaders like Projectra and Dream Girl, but the Academy is untouched? Why?
Duo Damsel is tired of not being given anything to do. Ignore the fact that she’s definitely off-model, nobody looks right in this issue.
The next part of the Khund master plan is to take out a mob boss: Molock Hanscom, who has become the new Starfinger.
He’s actually showed up a few times here and there throughout the entire 5YL era; the fact that I haven’t mention him so far should give you an idea of how important he was.
He wasn’t even acknowledged to having inherited the Starfinger title until now.
It’s a good moment to point out that the team now looks like crap, and for once it’s not the fault of the Taylor artwork.
Cosmic Boy is the only one who looks like a superhero; the others are various levels of bad design.
By the way, I’ve been calling them by their traditional names, but everyone has a new codename… and most of them suck.
- Virus = Shrinking Violet = not a bad idea (also keeps the “Vi” nickname)
- Neon = Celeste Rockfish = at least it’s A codename, plus it doesn’t mean blue despite her being green
- Polestar = Cosmic Boy = boring but functional
- Pulse = Lightning Lass = boring but functional
- Wave = Spider-Girl = makes more sense than her original name!
- Green Dragon = Cosmic Boy = sucks
- Jewel = White Witch = sucks (but continuing the trend to make increasingly unrecognizable)
- NRG = Wildfire = sucks (doesn’t everyone hear the name as “energy”???)
- B-5 = Brainiac 5 = sucks the most (who is this supposed to fool!?!?)
The Heroes of Lallor are dispatched to capture the Legion, together with Matter-Eater Lad and the loser Khund villain from LSH vol3 #51.
This leads into one of the worst splash pages to ever plague the Legion.
I could excuse this sloppy artwork in an independent book; this is amateurish AT BEST for a mainstream DC book.
Meanwhile the returning Khund ex-Legionnaires return, with the addition of YET ANOTHER cyborg, the one with four arms.
I don’t know whether to root for the Khunds or the new Starfinger.
They all suck.
Starfinger loses. See why I didn’t bother pointing out he was lurking in the background for like 50 issues?
Ultra Boy’s disguise continues to be the epitome of uselessness.
Well that ends the mystery of why Matter-Eater Lad was publicly siding with the Khunds.
Oh good, not only the Legionnaires are unrecognizable, we’re also switching around their powers.
I sure am glad we spent so much time hyping Universo’s new master plan.
All while the United Planets are trying to solve this through diplomacy.
Never change, United Planets, never change.
Then the Legion and the Academy fight the Khund ex-Legionnaires.
They manage to kidnap Flederweb before Veilmist teleports the others away.
I expected better from you, Duo Damsel.
In the struggle, Legion Academy student Ringtoss dies from friendly fire.
Just in time for the Legion to be forced to a strategic retreat.
At this point even Dream Girl would tell her sister to calm down.
Turns out Flederweb might not even be a Khund, and he’s been brainwashed.
The end goal of the Khunds is to destroy “Weber’s World”, the artificial planet where all the United Planets diplomats live.
Also Lightning Lass is a child now…
…and Cosmic Boy leaves.
In other plots, Mon-El is now fighting the 5YL version of Dev-Em.
This comes absolutely out of nowhere.
Only for the universe to glitch and turn him back to his Volume 3 version.
We discover why in the end, when Rond Vidar and Circadia Senus confirm time is broken.
Look I’m glad Circadia Senus survived LSH #19, but… HOW???
no pages with The Grid
23 pages without a grid
1 splash page
no text pages
Legion significance: 0/10
As a combination of the upcoming Zero Hour and the general mess of the Legion in this period, this ends up going nowhere. That is PARTICULARLY true for the Bounty subplot.
Silver Age-ness: 1/10
I’m giving a single point for the absurd idea that Spider-Girl dying her hair prevents people from recognize her. It doesn’t go above that because it clearly doesn’t work.
Depression scale: 4/10
On the one hand, the Legion does expose a conspiracy. So that’s a plus.
On the other hand, they barely survive without casualties AND long time friends somehow completely believe they’re working with the Khunds.
Does it stand the test of time?
#55-56: 2/10
#57: 0/10
The first two issues have some decent Immonen, the sole grace that issue 57 lacks.
Your enjoyment of issues 55 and 56 is going to depend a lot on how much you find Ultra Boy’s gang plot interesting and how much you care for Spider-Girl.
I personally found the plot incredibly boring, and I still can’t bring myself to care for her.
What does she bring to the series? She just traded being insufferable with being generic.
The rest of the Legion doesn’t do much better, being their standard 5YL level of incompetence.
The Dawnstar subplot is at the very least an attempt to fix her character, but for that to word we should have had at least SOME idea of what Bounty was supposed to be!
This storyline isn’t working at all for me. The Legion being hunted by the authorities is a tradition that in the past has lead to some its best storylines, but here it goes too far by having former Legionnaires and allies turn on them with barely any evidence.
And then there’s the rebranding. Not only the new identities don’t make any sense, they’re also very distracting. After 50 isssues of completely disregarding superhero names and having all characters refer to each other exclusively by using their civilian names, all of a sudden they have switched to using ONLY the new codenames. Which, as mentioned, ALSO mostly suck.
We are legion
I am still of the opinion that Spider-Girl should not be counted as an official member at this point.
33 active Legionnaires. Of these, 20 are in the “Legionnaires” team
1 presumed dead (SW6 Mon-El)
2 in sick leave (Kent Shakespeare and Devlin O’Ryan)
5 reserve members28 resigned members
18 deceased members
83 people have been members
68 people have been rejected