Superman #45 (1947)
cover by Jack Burnley
The cover has nothing to do with any of the three Superman stories inside. Which is a pity because we’ll be looking at two of those: one that is a bit historically significant, and one that is COMPLETELY BONKERS.
by Alvin Schwartz & John Sikela
“Lois Lane, Superwoman!”
We begin with Perry White complaining that all the Daily Planet prints are news.
What is this, a newspaper?
So instead he wants them to interview a couple of stage magicians, Hocus and Pocus (great imagination with those names).
Unfortunately they’re no magicians at all: in a previous issue Superman faked all their magic.
So when Lois Lane accidentally falls down the roof… as one does…
…he pretends that their magic spell worked.
Notice that they could’ve used their “magic” to save Lois directly, because Hocus and Pocus are complete idiots.
That would be a relatively standard Superman issue. But it’s notable because, once again, Lois is given his powers.
So Superman spends the whole story making her believe she has powers.
I was going to do the classic “guess the stupid ending” game, but unfortunately the story is explicit telling us from the start that she doesn’t really have powers. Bummer.
It should be noted that, like in Action Comics #60, once Lois has powers her first action is always to fight crime without bothering with a secret identity.
Superman is constantly moving at super-speed around Lois. And I do mean CONSTANTLY, there isn’t a single panel with her using her powers that doesn’t also have Superman’s afterimage.
Lois does get into her Superwoman costume again… but it’s only because of a charity ball.
And Superman spends the evening annoying everyone around her.
Lois Lane is a world renown journalist who constantly gets in the most dangerous situations imaginable. So obviously the fact that she can’t get a couple of complete strangers to dance with her is what breaks her spirit.
This means that Hocus and Pocus, not to mention Lois Lane, still believe they have the magic power to turn everyone into Superman.
We are still a few years before any definition of the Silver Age, but as you can see Superman is already just. The. Worst.
The second story (by the same creative team) has nothing particularly noteworthy.
Although it might have the first time Superman plays the villain… but it’s just in a play.
“The Case Of The Living Trophies”
by Jerry Siegel & John Sikela
But it’s the third Superman story of the book that has a bit of a legacy… for being one of the most absurd stories of this era, WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING.
The story starts with Superman juggling elephants WHILE FLYING and performing stunts, and yet that’s the most normal part.
Although throwing airplane parts in the air, assembling them at super-speed and LANDING THE PLANE HIMSELF is probably the most impressive stunt.
But then we have aliens kidnapping a successful boxer, the “richest man in the world” and a famous scientist.
Ah, yes, of course. I’m familiar with that work.
But the aliens also kidnap a beauty queen and Lois Lane.
And that’s why Superman started the issue with all those stunts: he wanted to get the alien’s attention.
His idea works, but unusually for the 1940s it turns out that the alien is too strong for Superman.
While this isn’t the first time Superman physically struggles against an opponent, it’s such a rare occurrence in the 40s that I’d be surprised it if happened more than two or three times before.
He’s not exactly defeated, but he has to fake a loss in order to get to the alien’s dimension.
The only reason the alien kidnapped people was to show off his collection to his friends.
Notice that the beauty queen and the rich guy are in the collection because they’re famous, but the scientist isn’t called out for being particularly impressive… and Lois was literally just there when the beauty queen was kidnapped.
Interestingly, the aliens keep referring to Earth being from the third dimension and that the only reason they have access to it is thanks to “a traveler of another dimension”.
This is not elaborated in the story, because of course it isn’t, but it does make me wonder if Siegel wanted to tie this to Mr. Mxyzptlk.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, is when the story turns absolutely bonkers.
Yes.
NOW.
Because as I already mentioned once, this is the story that randomly gives Superman telepathy!
Sometimes in the Golden Age, the names for superpowers can be weird for modern standards… but there’s no other way to say it, this is 100% telepathy.
As if that wasn’t enough, this is ALSO the story that gives Superman shapeshifting!
He’s altered his appearance before, with it mostly being described as being due to his “super-muscle control”. But I fail to understand what kind of muscle control would help him get pointy ears or white skin!
Well Superman has always been white, but you know what I mean.
This allows Superman to trick the alien collector.
It’s not as impressive as it sounds. This alien is so dumb that even Jimmy Olsen could outsmart him.
This allows Superman to rescue everyone else, and he will never have to worry about other dimensions ever again.
Historical significance
Superwoman: 0/10
Yet another ancestor to Supergirl.
Collector: 0/10
Its only significance is that it’s guaranteed to show up in any list of random one-off Superman powers.
Silver Age-ness
Superwoman: 10/10
Superman is fine with a couple of guys being 100% sure they have magic powers.
Collector: ∞/10
Superman randomly has new powers, bringing him closer than Martian Manhunter (who hasn’t been created yet) for the sheer number of powers. The story runs under the impression that Superman has ALWAYS had telepathy and shapeshifting.
Does it stand the test of time?
Superwoman: 0/10
This is an extremely 1947 story. It’s not 1950s sexist yet and Lois hasn’t devolved into a crazy person yet, but we’re getting closer. Had they kept the potential “does she actually have powers?” angle, maybe they could have accomplished a little more.
Collector: 4/10
If you ignore Superman’s random new powers… which is hard to do, but for the sake of argument… this one has potential! Superhero comics have a lot of “alien collector who kidnaps people”, and this is one of the earliest examples.
While the Collector has a generic look, he had potential: not only he’s a VERY RARE physical threat to Superman, he’s also kind of a precursor to Brainiac who he pre-dates by 11 years.