Brave And The Bold #187

Brave And The Bold #187 (1982)
by Charlie Boatner & Jim Aparo

We are approaching the very end of the Metal Men retrospective: this is the last Batman team-up, after which there are only a Superman team-up and Crisis.
But this is a more fitting finale, paying its respects at the history of the Metal Men. I couldn’t find much information on writer Charlie Boatner; he’s written about a dozen stories between DC and Marvel. This seems to be his most important contribution to both.

To give you an idea of how much this one delves into the history of the Metal Men, it starts with Batman rescuing Iron from the attack of one of the things from Metal Men #11.
And Iron gets killed in the first page! It’s probably a record.

Sadly, Batman doesn’t acknowledge that thing was empowered by Neptune and that it once used a harpoon made of sharks.

Like in that same issue, the Metal Men turn themselves into a boat. Without Lead, but Batman is also the first one to think about Nameless since she completely disappeared from the series.
Batman BARELY met her in Brave And The Bold #74, apparently not enough to remember her name.

There’s no time to discuss that, because Tin is ALSO already dead.

The Metal Men rush off to protect Lead, leaving Batman behind to figure out the clues.

Once Doc arrives to collect Tin’s remains in order to rebuild him, Batman connects the dots: “Beautiful” was how Tin used to call Nameless.

Even Doc seems to have forgotten Nameless, thinking that Batman is talking about the gender-bent robots from Metal Men #32. That’s going to be a plot point later.
Also, notice Doc’s callousness in saying the robots were “luckily” destroyed… he’s still The Worst, isn’t he?

Aaaaand the Metal Men failed in saving Lead, what are the odds.

Batman is positively OUTRAGED that the Metal Men have forgotten Nameless!!! There is a bit of meta-commentary here… like I said Batman has BARELY interacted with her, so this is probably meant to be a reaction from the readers.

I have to say that it’s nice to see Batman having gone through a complete 180 when it comes to his robophobia. That almost makes the endless crappy team-ups worth it. ALMOST.

Meanwhile the surviving Metal Men do what they do best: bicker between each other!
(and no, that doesn’t count as Mercury’s catchphrase since he doesn’t say it)

Awww.

And then SUDDEN ROBOTS!!!!

Yes it’s the Gas Gang from Metal Men #6, and conveniently the explosion makes Tina remember what actually happened to Nameless!!!
Also: Tina is the only one surviving the attack, proving once again that she’s the only slightly effective member of the team.

Well at least she stays alive long enough to give Batman a crucial clue: Nameless was last seen right before Metal Men #33.
Also an extremely rare case of a writer remembering that Tina should be far heavier than a human!!!

Batman watches Doc Magnus rebuild the Metal Men one more time. But based on what Tina told him, he deduces that the last step is actually a memory wipe.

The villain of the story then attacks, revealing himself to be Platinum Man.
And if you’re going “WHO!?”, I told you that Metal Men #32 would be important!

SOMEHOW Platinum Man also managed to get control on some of the Missile Men. I’m not entirely sure HOW, but hey, it’s a reunion of all the classic robot villains.

Speaking of a reunion: since Platinum Man left behind traces of sulfur, Batman traces his lair to an underground cavern where a familiar giant robot is keeping guard.
It’s B.O.L.T.S. from Metal Men #15!!!

What follows is a battle between the Metal Men, Platinum Man, B.O.L.T.S. and the Missile Men… entirely off-panel (!!!!) because it’s revealed that Platinum Man has been doing this for Nameless, who gets reunited with Tin.

Never thought I’d say it, but it’s heartwarming to see these two together again!

So why DID Nameless disappear from the series? It turns out that she asked Doc Magnus to rebuild her into “something beautiful”… but something went wrong.

She didn’t die, however. Instead she rescued Platinum Man, nursed repaired him back to health and stayed in his underground lair.

This means that Nameless’ blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance in Brave And The Bold #103 is out of continuity. Kind of weird, considering the level of attention to the Metal Men series; I guess Charlie Boatner was not a fan of their other team-ups (can you blame him!?).

In one of the darkest moments in Metal Men history, Nameless reveals that she was kept prisoner by Platinum Man.

Tina points out the obvious flaw in this plot, the fact that Platinum Man was completely devoid of emotions. But apparently Nameless is SO great that he fell in love regardless.

This is an interesting moral conundrum: if the Metal Men are worth saving, what about the countless evil robots they fight?
Almost all of them are obviously sentient, so is refusing to rebuild them the right thing to do?
Admittedly some of them are way too dangerous in their natural state… I wouldn’t want Doc to rebuild Plutonium Man, but couldn’t he give them a different body?

And then… you’re not ready for this: Doc Magnus officiates a marriage between Tin and Nameless! With Batman as the best man!!!

That would be a happy ending for the Metal Men. But this story is not pulling any emotional punches, because then one of the Missile Men risks killing everyone…

…and Nameless sacrifices herself to save her husband.

You will believe a robot that looks like a parking meter can make you cry.

So long, Nameless. You actually managed to get a GOOD story.

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Metal Men significance: 10/10
There is still one appearance, but like I said this is the end of the era in any meaningful way.

Silver Age-ness: 5/10
A tough call. On one hand, the entire plot revolves around Nameless and the countless references to crazy adventures. On the other hand, the dark and bleak tone. I’m going to split it down the middle.

Does it stand the test of time? 9/10
This is a legitimately good story. The bleak ending is a bit gratuitous and rushed, plus nearly all of the action happens off-panel. But other than that… it raises some fascinating points regarding robots, sentience, grief… and it’s a competent if extremely weird mystery to solve.
If the Metal Men made a serious return in this continuity it would’ve been very hard to justify Doc Magnus not rebuilding Nameless (unless there’s not enough left, which would be ridiculous considering the previous resurrections) or why exactly the Metal Men would still be loyal to them.
But other than that… yeah, this actually makes you sorry Nameless is dead!!!

Times Nameless has died: 6
Times Platinum has died: 22
Times Mercury has died: 23
Times Gold has died: 24
Times Iron has died: 28
Times Tin has died: 29
Times Lead has died: 30