DC Comics Presents #70 (1984)
by Paul Kupperberg & Alex Saviuk
The emotional rollercoaster that was Brave And The Bold #187, it should have been the last Metal Men story… but we have one more Superman team-up.
It’s quite jarring to see Alex Saviuk draw DC, I associate him with Spider-Man.
We begin with the Metal Men saving a criminal from committing suicide. Not sure why he went through the trouble of taking a hostage if he was just going to jump from the building!
This has no impact on the rest of the story. Except telling us that Mercury doesn’t like humans, which is not exactly news.
That’s not as random as Superman stopping someone from committing a crime by riding a balloon.
The bad guy is a mad scientist living in New Mexico who, somehow, decides to attack the Metal Men while they are in New York.
He manages to take control of their Responsometers™ to bring them to his cave.
If that’s not random enough, the mad scientist also sends a bunch of robot animals after them, plus the cave is apparently the Holodeck because he can project the image of a city in ruins.
Actually no, Mercury, you haven’t said your catchphrase in AGES.
The cave’s technology is SO advanced that the environmental controls are enough to give trouble to the Metal Men. To be fair, just about anything gives trouble to these guys.
Still, good use of the physical properties of their elements, for once! It’s shocking how rarely these kind of scenes happen.
Turning up the heat so much to melt Lead is a bit much! To my American readers, that’s 621,5°F.
SOMEHOW the images reach Clark Kent’s computer in Metropolis, and that’s how Superman gets involved. (WTF!?)
Superman shows up, but the red solar radiation (double WTF!?) robs him of his powers.
For a moment I thought we were back to idea that red sun radiation doesn’t take away Superman’s strength, but it seems to be that there isn’t enough radiation to completely make him powerless.
At this point you’re probably wondering what’s the deal with the mad scientist. Well, turns out he created a computer that can SOMEHOW create any possible scenario.
Unless he’s the original creator of the Miracle Machine, what sense does THAT make!?!?
Eventually Superman and the Metal Men reach the end of the cavern…
…only to find GIANT HUMANOID COCKROACHES.
Which means, you guessed it, a big dumb fight.
Now don’t be too shocked, but the only one to do anything useful is Tina.
And so Superman saves the Metal Men, just in time before the mad scientist destroys the cave with a nuclear explosion.
So who is the dumbest super-genius? This guy or IQ from the previous Superman team-up ?
Sorry newcomer, but it’s still IQ.
Metal Men significance: 0/10
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Does it stand the test of time? 3/10
The only saving grace is the artwork. Everything else…
“Mercury is the only liquid metal at room temperature”: 19
Issues when not a single Metal Man dies: 29