World’s Finest #186-187

World’s Finest #186 (1969)
by Robert Kanigher & Ross Andru
cover by Curt Swan

When it comes to Silver Age wackiness, this cover is sometimes brought up. But does the scene make sense in the story itself? Well it’s a Kanigher story, so let’s see.

We begin with Bruce Wayne reading a book about one of his ancestors. I miss when Bruce was allowed to do stuff in his spare time that wasn’t connected to his business or his superhero career!
There’s being dedicated to being Batman and then there’s being obsessed.

So here’s a thought. If Commissioner Gordon can call Batman on the phone without causing trouble with his secret identity, why does Superman always have to go through absolutely ridiculous lengths to contact him?

There’s a bust of Bruce’s ancestor being donated to a museum, but then it’s completely destroyed.

Sounds like a job for… oh come on, I know I joked many times that these two should simply phone each other when they need help, but I meant for something a little more serious!!!

Despite the fact that the bust CLEARLY is just a regular guy, Superman then completes the statue which turns into a Batman bust.

I can’t go through more than two panels without finding something that makes no sense.
Superman decides to bring Batman into the past to investigate, so he makes clothes out of the nearest curtains…

…which are ALSO somehow indestructible now!? If he could make HIS clothes indestructible, why not Batman’s!?!?

So the two heroes arrive in the past, when they are attacked by Bruce Wayne’s ancestor… who is just nuts.

I feel like there were dozens of ways to get out of this one by attracting less attention. You know, like NOT discussing openly about being from the future.

Also: have you ever wanted to see Batman judo a horse?

His ancestor lets them go, and since their clothes are torn the only thing to do is now go around in full costume. I mean it’s not like Superman can whip out clothes out of basically anything in five seconds… we all know there were no curtains in the world before the 20th century.

Okay I can accept people believe these are costumes for a play, but… “S for Shakespeare”!? REALLY!?

Well the two have known each other since at least the Golden Age, if Superman #44 from 1947 is to be believed.

And then they run into a woman who is about to be executed for being a witch.
Which apparently can’t be, since according to Batman witches can’t be hot.

Superman of course saves the woman from being drowned…

…WITH HIS TEETH.

So your plan was to make these people believe she HAS supernatural powers, so that she shouldn’t be executed for having supernatural powers!?
Sounds legit.

With Superman wasting time eating (seriously, WTF was up with that!?), Batman is the one to get the job done…

…because she’s hot.

Remember when I said Bruce is not obsessed with being Batman in this story? Well that extends to his secret identity. Honestly it’s a bit refreshing to see him NOT being utterly paranoid about this.

Superman, what you mean with “I did all the work”!? You left her in the water!

Batman always has his priorities straight.

Superman is SO jealous about Batman hitting on a girl he literally just met that he begins a smear campaign against Batman!!!

Never forget that Silver Age Superman is just. The. Worst.

No, seriously. THE. WORST.

AND HE GOES ON !!!

Funny thing is, she’s not exactly wrong here, isn’t it?

At this point you might think things couldn’t POSSIBLY get crazier, but that’s when Benjamin Franklin shows up!!!

Little known fact: Benjamin Franklin’s experiments with electricity were actually carried out in order to free people unjustly accused of being satanists. True story.*
^{*not a true story}

And it would’ve worked (!!!!) if Superman didn’t personally intercept each lightning bolt.

There IS an explanation for Superman’s actions which is revealed next issue, but if they told me he was just being a dick I would’ve believed it.

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World’s Finest #187 (1969)
by Robert Kanigher & Ross Andru
cover by Curt Swan

Sometimes I wonder if there was a bet among DC writers to see who could come up with the premise that would make Superman look the most evil.

Batman is about to get burned at the stake (!!!!), but Benjamin Franklin shows up with a petition signed by the signers of the Declaration of Independence.
So I’m not exactly an expert on US history, but… this HAS to be a forgery for him to show up with a thing like that in what must’ve been a couple of days at most, right?

Researching WTF did “even the original Hancock has his John Hancock” mean, I just discovered that apparently the term “John Hancock” is a synonym for one’s signature.
Don’t anyone tell you comics don’t teach stuff! I have my SERIOUS doubts about everything else in this comic, but hey, baby steps.

Batman asks his executioners one last wish… WHICH WORKS, because apparently people burning sorcerers at the stake are just nice like that.

What could Batman possibly ask these people to do to prove Superman is in fact the sorcerer?
This is the best bit of the story because, FOR ONCE, this makes total sense!!!

Great job proving you’re just a regular guy, Superman.

Batman is freed, because of course you can’t have multiple people using witchcraft, and Benjamin Franklin begins his lifelong goal of proving aliens exist.

So where does that leave Superman? Working for the British, of course!

Batman recruits the help of his ancestor, literally using the name “Batman” to avoid giving him ideas.

Which is all for nothing, since Superman kidnaps the ancestor and brings him to the British.

But then Batman shows up to save his ancestor by pretending to be him!

I told you. Just. THE. WORST.

This is a totally normal Superman story, guys.

The fight between the two Waynes is interrupted by a Robin doppelganger.

So Batman had Kryptonite THIS WHOLE TIME and never bothered to use it!?!?!?

“Robin” then uses Kryptonite to knock down Superman…

…for about five seconds.

Theres 1 ½ pages left, so it’s just about the right time to play “Guess the stupid ending”!
Why DID Superman behave like that?

A) he was exposed to Red Kryptonite
B) the blonde really was a witch and put a spell on him
C) the blonde was an alien and mind-controlled him
D) he was possessed by a demon
E) he’s a sociopath who gets bored easily

And the answer is…

And that is why the first story began with a bust of Batman.
Despite the fact that IT’S STILL NOT SHOWING BATMAN.

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Historical significance: 0/10

Silver Age-ness: 1776/10

Does it stand the test of time? 0/10

Did Robin actually do anything? He wasn’t even in this

Did Superman really need Batman? No, he just needs a hobby

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Interesting letters: a legal discussion over World’s Finest #183.