The Secret Wars II tie-ins get a bad name because… well because most of them were either useless or wasted the plot… but some are genuinely great.
Fantastic Four #285 (1985)
by John Byrne
There are two Fantastic Four stories in the Byrne arc that I challenge anyone to read without feeling an emotional gut punch. One is the issue where Susan has a miscarriage, and this is the other one.
The story is about a kid on the brink of death, so… yeah this isn’t going to be funny.
The reason why this is in a Fantastic Four book is that kid is probably the greatest Human Torch fan in the world. Possibly even more so than Johnny Storm.
To the point that he decides to set himself on fire to imitate his hero.
Johnny is understandably devastated by this. I’m not even going to make fun of the fact that he has the worst haircut of his career.
Byrne brings up an interesting point: it IS kind of weird that superheroes are treated like celebrities despite being extremely dangerous people who deal with even more dangerous situations, isn’t it?
The Beyonder is currently in his “my destiny is to help people” phase, so he shows up with the intention to show Johnny that he shouldn’t give up being the Human Torch.
The Torch expects some Beyonder shenanigans, but instead he just takes him to the past to observe the impact he had on the kid.
.
It’s a bit jarring to see the Beyonder being so insightful into human behavior and emotions, but this is extremely well done.
Recommended reading? Yes
It’s one of the best stories of the Byrne run.
Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? Yes
The story would still work without him, or you could replace him with someone like the Watcher, but I think his outsider perspective really helps here.
Should this have been in the miniseries? No
Jim Shooter is not a monster and can treat a serious topic respectfully when he wants to… but can you imagine what would’ve happened if this was Blond Beyonder?
In 1994, Byrne revealed on the letters page of Next Men #22 that the Beyonder was not supposed to show up at all, and his role was supposed to be given to the doctor.
As much as I adore Byrne’s run, and as I normally dislike editorial interference… one of the things I like the most about this story is the mixing of the normal and the cosmic, which feels right for the Fantastic Four.
Also Byrne can complain all he wants about Shooter’s interference, but the idea to reprint the story by completely removing the Beyonder is just laughable… that’s not a reprint, that’s a whole other story! Which I would gladly pay to read, sure, but come on.
In general, Byrne’s comments in this era are just so filled with anger against everybody that it’s unpleasant to read. And I like his Next Men, but stay away from his letters page. Sheesh.
This is not the only story where a kid sets himself on fire to imitate the Human Torch, by the way: Danny Fingeroth uses the same premise for a much worse story in Fantastic Four #342.
The same story at least directly references the Byrne one.
The reason why there are so many stories with kids setting themselves on fire is the myth that the Human Torch was replaced by the robot H.E.R.B.I.E. in 1978’s animated series because the network was worried that children would set themselves on fire.
But that’s just a myth: the REAL reason is that when the cartoon was produced, the rights to the Human Torch were optioned for a solo movie that never happened.
I don’t know what’s weirder: the fact that people came up with that myth, or that someone thought it would’ve been possible to have a Human Torch movie in 1978.
That’s the same year the Superman movie came out! How could they possibly have managed to do the Human Torch at the time!?!?
Fantastic Four #288 (1986)
by John Byrne
I’ve already talked about this one way back in the Doom retrospective.
As I’ve discussed in the previous review, the fact that the Beyonder would not survive the destruction of time will eventually have a HUGE impact.
But I already focused a lot on the Beyonder part of the story in that review, and we still have other stuff to cover.
Recommended reading? Yes
A great Byrne story, a great Doom story, and surprisingly a great Beyonder story.
Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? Yes
Summoning him is 90% of Doom’s plan. Doom basically obtained everything he wanted in that story, by the way.
Should this have been in the miniseries? No
This is still firmly a Fantastic Four story; adding that to the miniseries would’ve made it even more bloated.
Daredevil #223 (1985)
written by Denny O’Neill & Jim Shooter
pencils by David Mazzucchelli
cover by John Byrne
Not the most flattering Daredevil cover ever.
The Beyonder has TWO plots here. The first of which is hiring Nelson & Murdock as his lawyers to LEGALLY BUY THE PLANET.
Unfortunately this is barely a subplot. I wish this kind of thing was explored as a full story… the idea behind it has a very “Twilight Zone” ring to it.
If it hasn’t been done before, someone should REALLY write a book or make a movie when someone attempts this.
The main plot is about Daredevil getting his eyesight back, thanks to the Beyonder.
This is not the only time something like this will happen… and Daredevil’s sight has been restored briefly before, like in his meeting with Moondragon… but usually there has to be a contrived reason for him to lose his sight again.
This time the story takes full advantage of showing all of DD’s reaction.
Daredevil’s super-senses have grown so much over the years that at this point the fact he can’t see tends to lose its meaning. This story really works in putting things into context.
But Daredevil suspects the Beyonder just gave him back his sight only to control him, so he asks to be made blind again.
That’s fine, but having him reject the offer even when the Beyonder wants him to keep his sight even without expecting anything in return.
It makes sense in a legal sense… it’s still kind of bribing him… but it’s a bit much.
I would’ve had the Beyonder taking back the gift once the firm decides not to take the case.
After all, he also took back the money he gave to Foggy.
Recommended reading? Yes
Still the best “Daredevil gets his sight back” story. It’s also the only one who doesn’t bring up the idea that he can’t be a superhero if he’s not blind… he lets one criminal go because he gets his sight back in the middle of the action, but he doesn’t resume the hero career until he’s blind again.
Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? Yes
Otherwise there would be no story.
Should this have been in the miniseries? No
Firmly a Daredevil story. But “the Beyonder wants to legally buy the planet” is a much better premise than some of his shenanigans in the miniseries, so maybe swap some other nonsense for it.
Cloak and Dagger Vol.2 #4 (1986)
by Bill Mantlo & Rick Leonardi
I hope the story is about the Beyonder using his powers to transform Dagger in some inhuman creature, because wow are those some absurd proportions!
Unlike in the previous tie-ins, the Beyonder is not actively looking for the protagonists: he just happens to wander into the slums that Cloak & Dagger protect.
Clearly, the Beyonder “doesn’t look like someone who’s into drugs”.
Sounds legit.
This is the story where the Beyonder does drugs.
Yes.
REALLY.
Cloak & Dagger show up to beat up the dealers before they can give drugs to the Beyonder, and he doesn’t appreciate it. AT ALL.
This would probably work better with Blond Beyonder, but he doesn’t understand why drugs are bad since the dealers told him they would bring happiness.
He turns the heroes’ powers against each other, which has the unintended effect of neutralizing both turning them back into humans. I expected Cloak to be happy about this, but even Dagger loves it.
(also I completely forgot Cloak used to stutter)
Unlike Daredevil, they are 100% on board with this.
Did you think I was joking about the Beyonder doing drugs? I WASN’T.
And it is, of course, the worst thing he has ever experienced. Mostly because Secret Wars II #7 hasn’t happened yet.
It’s SO bad that the text is completely impossible to read against the background!
This makes the Beyonder VERY angry about the drug dealers, so he just disintegrates them!
This is quite interesting: Cloak & Dagger started out at anti-heroes who killed drug dealers pretty much indiscriminately, but now they have a less black & white vision.
While a bit heavy-handed, this is not entirely a bad argument.
So the Beyonder restore everything to how it was before his involvement.
This is a MUCH better resolution to avoiding the Beyonder solving a real-life issue than “he can’t cure world hunger because Captain America loves freedom” from the miniseries, in my opinion.
Recommended reading? Yes
I found this series to be very hit and miss, and Leonardi is not fully himself yet. But come on, “the Beyonder does drugs” is well worth it.
Did the Beyonder REALLY need to show up? Yes
Unlike with the Human Torch or Daredevil, you can’t replace him with another cosmic being… I can’t imagine Galactus taking drugs.
Should this have been in the miniseries? No
I have the feeling Shooter is more of a “black & white morality” kind of writer than Mantlo, and the message would feel wrong in his hands.