Lois Lane 27

LOIS LANE #027 (1961)
“Lois Lane’s Super-Brain!” by Otto Binder & Kurt Schaffenberger
“The Battle of the Sisters!” by Otto Binder & Curt Swan
Cover by Curt Swan

Judging by the cover, we may have hit peak Silver Age.

We start with a throwaway invention that could’ve changed the world and will be completely forgotten.

Naturally, since this is world-shattering news, Losi is covering the story with the help of her sister Lucy… who is a stewardess, not a journalist.
After all, every news article about a machine that downloads information from people’s brains NEEDS a picture of someone wearing a stupid helmet.

So Lois becomes a genius. Or rather, considering this is the Silver Age, she grows a brain.

And I mean that quite literally.

Okay, the premise is silly enough, but it’s something you can turn into a decent story.
What happens when Lois suddenly becomes the smartest woman in the world?

She… finds a way to hide that she has a big head.

Then she hides it again.

And again.

AND AGAIN.

WE GET IT, she has a big head and wants to hide it!
Are you going to do ANYTHING with the idea that she increased her intelligence!?

I should’ve specified “anything that isn’t completely idiotic”.
My bad.
But hey, the cover promised us Bizarro! That should at least be funny, right?

Or we could use him for LITERALLY ONLY THREE PANELS.

Well… that was a waste of pages. At least we’re at the last page and it’s not like the comic could get any worse in the last panel.

F##king 1961…

Let’s see if the second story is any better. It certainly can’t be much worse.
We start with Superman asking out Lucy Lane.

This is heartbreaking not only for Lois, but for Jimmy Olsen as well, since at the time he was dating Lucy.

Can you smell sitcom shenanigans?

WTF is Jimmy doing with his fingers?

At the ball, Jimmy gets the occasion to play the hero.

Which of course he blows immediately.

I’ve been asking myself the same question for YEARS, Perry.

Later we learn that Lois sleeps next to a giant Superman picture.
I’m not pointing that out only because it’s incredibly creepy.
Believe it or not, it’s a plot point.

During all this, Lucy hasn’t talked to her sister about dating Superman. In fact, we haven’t seen then talk to each other so far.

And she continues to deny it despite the overwhelming evidence.

However, it turns out that this isn’t Superman at all.

Of for f##k’s sake… AGAIN!?

ANOTHER guy from Kandor who is an exact double of Superman and falls for an Earth woman!?
This is EXACTLY what happened with Van-Zee in issue 15!!!

Did they think we forgot? No, because there’s an appearance by Van-Zee!

What is it with Kandor and Earth women!? I understand living in a bottle city limits your chances, but come on, are there NO women on Kandor!?!?

At least we could get something interesting about sister rivalry… Lucy didn’t say anything to Lois about dating a Superman double.

Or we could throw it all away because this comic is just awful.

And the moral of the story is… Lucy might actually be the smarter sister.

Shocking, I know.

 

Historical significance: 0/10
Mercifully forgotten by everyone: Bor-Jak is even more obscure than Van-Zee.

Silver Age-ness: 8/10
Despite the cover we didn’t hit peak Silver Age. We did, however, reach the bottom of the barrel in terms of quality and characterization.

Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
HAHAHAHAH