Lois Lane 23

LOIS LANE #023(1961)
“The 10 Feats of Elastic Lass!” by Otto Binder & Kurt Schaffenberger
“The Curse of Lena Thorul!” by Jerry Siegel & Kurt Schaffenberger
“The Wife of Superman!” by UNKNOWN & Kurt Schaffenberger

We have a lot to cover this time.
For the record: I could not find a source for the writer of the third story. It could by Binder or Siegel; some resources credit Jack Schiff.

Let’s start with some old-fashioned body horror!

We start with Lois Lane witnessing an explosion while going to work.

To work on the story, Lois decides to take the serum that turns Jimmy Olsen into Elastic Lad.

Jimmy agrees to let her have the serum, but for some reason he decides to cut the dose so that she can use her powers only 10 times.

So… one drop equals one “super-feat”? How does THAT work!?

Okay, she can use her powers ten times. What is she going to do with them?

Off to a great start, I see.

That’s four “feats” already and she hasn’t even met the guy she’s investigating. But at least she caught a random robber. If she stays focused and doesn’t waste her powers in useless “feats”, maybe she can…

Oh who am I kidding?

Yeah that was totally necessary. Come on Lois, focus! You’re already at five “feats”!

Okay Lois, you’re already at 6 feats. If you just can’t resist doing the show for the orphans, just do ONE trick okay?

Aaand that’s already 8 feats.

This is the orphanage of Supergirl’s orphanage; luckily she gets to the exhibition in time to save Lois Lane’s #ss.

I have several thoughts about this sequence!

One: would falling from the trapeze actually hurt “Elastic Lass” ?

Two: Supergirl arrives AFTER the show has started, but all the other orphans were there from the start. Why wasn’t her secret identity there with the other orphans?

Three: isn’t that skirt a little short for 1960? Then again, the public doesn’t know Supergirl exists yet, it’s not like she would get in trouble.

Four: did Elastic Lass REALLY need to waste the 9th feat by wrapping herself around the orphanage AFTER the end of the show!?

I guess the moral of this segment was that Lois can’t do anything right without the help of a Kryptonian.

So now Lois FINALLY uses her powers to investigate the guy she was supposed to investigate in the first place… and she’s at her last “feat”.

At least she finds a way to use her super-nose less ridiculously than Jimmy did.

Well, at least SOMETHING worked out as intended.

Why do I get the distinct feeling most writers don’t like Lois Lane in this period? We often end up with her doing 1 right thing every 10 mistakes, making fun of her at the very last page.

Next story: Perry White decides that he wants an article on witches, so he asks Lois.
The jokes write themselves, don’t they?

So Lois goes to Cardiff and immediately finds a book on witches that includes a picture of a witch that is the spitting image of the librarian.

Yes, they call it a “woodprint”, but come on, that is CLEARLY a photograph.

The librarian doesn’t seem too impressed by the resemblance; Lois decides to befriend her.

The librarian has a tragic backstory that is eerily similar to the witch’s.

AND she lives in the same house!!!

Okay, something weird’s going on here. Especially when Lois tries to take her picture!

Okay… THAT is a little more than suspicious.

Or this.

But there’s no time to waste: Lex Luthor has escaped from jail!

Well, actually, the news is that Lex escaped a week earlier by pulling a Doombot.

Superman immediately finds Luthor’s hideout and discovers the connection with the librarian.

Not that it was hard or anything.

I love that he needs the chalkboard to demonstrate the anagram.

Also… what kind of proof is THAT!? That just proves a connection, or that she was using an alias. How did he go from that to “she’s your sister”!?

Anyway, time for Luthor’s backstory!

I think this might be the only time we ever see Lex’s parents pre-Crisis.
Post-Crisis, he murders his parents by sabotaging their car… which means that the pre-Crisis version may not be as innocent as he says.

All of this explains who Lena is, but not anything else. What about the whole witch thing?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?
Lena just HAPPENS to look like a witch who lived centuries ago? And she just HAPPENS to live in the same house? Come on!!!

And that’s not all: Lex’s plan makes absolutely no sense.

So let me get this straight. You are afraid that “someone” might recognize that Lena Thorul, a grown woman, is the same person as the little girl who last met you?
Lex… your sister isn’t famous in the slightest! The chances of anyone recognizing her from a picture on the Daily Planet are exactly the same of someone recognizing her in Cardiff!
You just attracted MORE attention to your sister!!!

*sigh*
At least he’s successful at convincing Lois to kill the story.

Last story: an “imaginary tale” where Lois married Superman and they had twins.

They both wear “control-watches” that can shut down their superpowers at the push of a button.

That’s actually kind of clever! As long as it’s not based on something dangerous, like small quantities of RADIOACTIVE MATERIAL!

I guess it’s realistic that they don’t want children to have super-powers, but… what does this say about Clark and Lois as parents?
Clark’s adoptive parents didn’t need to shut down HIS superpowers to raise him!

By the way, Lois has retired from her job and has been replaced by Lana Lang.

And perhaps she’s replacing her in other roles as well.

This causes Lois to want her old job back. Except…

It takes a lot to make me side with Silver Age Lois Lane. A LOT.

But this is just revolting. And it’s not just Perry!!!

I like making fun of this era’s Lois Lane… but this comic REALLY hates her to an uncomfortable level.

Although it DOES show a little sympathy for her at the very end.

Or rather… at the cliffhanger, because the story doesn’t really have an ending: Superman vows to give Lois superpowers and it just… stops.

If Lois DOES get superpowers in the sequel, all bets are on her murdering Lana.

Historical significance
First and third story: 0/10
Second story: 6/10
Lena Luthor will appear sporadically until the mid-70s. After all, “Luthor’s secret sister” isn’t a bad concept at all. She will be re-imagined several times, across several continuities and media. Whenever she isn’t around, you can be sure that if Luthor has any kind of female relative she’ll be called Lena.

Silver Age-ness
First and second story: 7/10
Rather average for the period. The second story could’ve been a 5/10 if only there was an explanation for all the witch stuff.
Third story: 9/10
Almost peak Silver Age. Doesn’t reach 10/10 because SOME thought is given to the consequences of the kids with powers and to the secret marriage.

Does it stand the test of time?
First story: 1/10
At least Lois uses her powers for good… or at least she wants to.
Second story: 4/10
Luthor’s characterization holds relatively well, but there are WAY too many coincidences!
Third story: -15/10
Yes. On a scale from zero to ten, this is a minus fifteen.

Stupid Lois Lane moment
First story: TWO tests of her powers AND wasting three feats at the orphanage? Really?
Second story: It’s not the fact that Lois doesn’t figure out Lena is Luthor’s sister because the relationship is tenuous at best. And it’s not even the fact that she believes she’s been cursed… she KNOWS magic is real. Honestly there is no stupid moment I can pin on her! The story is still stupid, but for once it’s not her fault.
Third story: Not punching Perry White in the face.

Interesting letters: someone with common sense!