ADVENTURE COMICS 329 (1964)
by Jerry Siegel & Jim Mooney
With Bizarro around, I guess there won’t be doubts about the silver age-ness of this one.
We begin with Saturn Girl vowing to do something about the Time Trapper, who has been teased repeatedly for months, and Vanishing World, which we’ve never heard of.
Both have absolutely nothing to do with the rest of this story.
But everything will have to wait because WE HAVE THE FLIGHT RINGS!!!
It’s still missing the L emblem, but the rings will indeed completely replace the antigravity belts and become THE symbol of the Legion.
But even THAT will have to wait because Bizarro wants to join the Legion!
The rule disallowing the complete duplication of powers of another member has not been firmly established yet, but we have a proto-version of that.
Not that it matters because Bizarro has another power: he’s super-handsome!
Sadly he’s rejected, despite having the same haircut and a better personality of Command Kid.
Bizarro vows vengeance and retreats to Bizarro World, meaning we get the usual nonsense.
Bizarro World can be fun in a goofy way, but it feels somewhat forced this time.
We have just begun with the nonsense, because Bizarro now creates his own Bizarro Legion.
They are just about as dignified as you’d expect.
Bizarro Saturn Girl’s version of telepathy is ALMOST kind of funny.
Bizarro Chameleon Boy turning into a “crying hyena” and Bizarro Invisible Kid failing to turn invisible… not so much.
Since the Legion is all about stopping emergencies, the Bizarro Legion works by creating emergencies.
If they think backwards, wouldn’t answering “thank you too much” mean the opposite of…
You know what, I’m not even going to try to make sense of this.
The Legion shows up to fix everything.
“What idiocy will those crazy creatures pull next” is often what I ask myself before reviewing a Silver Age comic book.
The Bizarro Legion could be a legitimate threat, considering how easily they jump to attempting to blow up a planet because they expect the inhabitants to thank them for it. (!!!)
The Legion stops the bomb from blowing up, but it’s clear that they have to stop the Bizarro Legion once and for all.
Bizarro threatens to kill the Legion unless Superboy squeezes diamonds into coal.
It looks like the laws of physics suddenly apply to this story, and Superboy points out that what Bizarro is asking is impossible to achieve, even for him.
And then he does it anyway.
In the only legitimately funny moment of the entire story, Bizarro accepts to disband his team because it was too hard to remember all of their names and powers.
Okay comic, you get ONE funny line. ONE.
As to how Superboy turned diamond into coal… he didn’t.
For the second time in a row, Element Lad does something useful only when he’s not written by Edmond Hamilton.
Legion significance: 7/10
Exclusively for the Flight Ring, which becomes a major symbol of the Legion. Of all places to introduce it, it happens in this throwaway story!
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Every story with Bizarro World almost automatically ends up here.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
This is obviously meant to be a silly story not to be taken seriously. Comedy is of course subjective, but to me this story just isn’t funny.
We are legion
11 Legionnaires active in this story
8 not shown but officially members
1 reserve member: Bouncing Boy
2 resigned member: Dream Girl, Command Kid
1 honorary member: Elastic Lad
How much Legion is too much?
There are 19 active members. The total number of characters who have been members is 23.
Legion rejects: 20
Bizarro, of all people, is the 20th potential member to be rejected.
Interesting letters: can you please hurry up with the only decent Legion villain you have created so far?
And the retcon of the reason why Polar Boy was rejected.
Also, we have an entire page dedicated to recap all the current Legionnaires.
Interesting points: the updated Brainiac 5 origin to account for the changes in the status quo of the original Brainiac, who was retconned into being a robot.
The first mention of the Espionage Squad!
And I believe the first mention of Phantom Girl’s very very weird planet of origin.
