ADVENTURE COMICS 330 (1965)
by Jerry Siegel & Jim Mooney
This is one of the most Silver Age covers the Legion ever had, and I have good reason to think it was penciled before the story was even written.
We begin “on a pirate planetoid” where some space pirates are plotting against the Legion.
It’s actually a rather clever plan, which involves using belts that give pretty random powers.
I wonder if they’re the same race that gave Jimmy a magic belt in Jimmy Olsen #59.
They fight to figure out who is the best one at using the belt, and it turns’ out it’s a guy wearing an orange skirt.
The pirate’s plan? Have this guy, Vorn, to infiltrate the Legion and destroy it from within.
Hey, it worked a couple of issues ago with Command Kid, so why not.
He introduces himself as Dynamo Boy, even coming up with a fake origin story.
It’s an interesting power, but it shouldn’t be THAT hard to get in the team considering the competition during this audition!
Believe it or not, Eyeful Ethel has a couple of joke appearances as one of the reserves of the Substitute Heroes.
Yes, the Subs have a list of people who are not quite on their level.
I don’t think the Mess showed up again.
Props to the old man for looking goofier than both Eyeful Ethel and the Mess.
Dynamo Boy is accepted into the team, because they have learned nothing about investigating new members after the whole Command Kid fiasco.
Next we learn that Colossal Boy has just returned from a mission where he captured some pirates who were using a duplicating ray, lazily called Duplazor ™.
He was supposed to take the Duplazor ™ back to the Legion and hand it over to the authorities, but it’s disappeared from his ship.
Cosmic Boy tests him with the Hyper-Polygraph ™, which indicates that he’s lying about stopping the pirates.
And so Colossal Boy is expelled from the Legion.
Next: Mon-El fails to use a super-weapon to stop some not-exactly-well-defined villains.
So, uhm, are we going to address the near-omnipotent energy beings or the weapon that can kill them?
I guess not.
Next: the Legion rushes to capture some dangerous space animals that have escaped a space zoo, but they make a few traffic violations to do it.
Despite successfully managing the crisis, they get a ticket for those traffic violations.
I’M NOT KIDDING.
Dynamo Boy takes advantage of the situation to EXPEL NEARLY THE ENTIRE LEGION.
Once some of the missing Legionnaires return to the base, they’re subjected to the cover.
See what I meant with the cover? It has next to nothing to do with the story.
Also: Dynamo Boy has left a Super Power Switch Ray ™ just laying around.
This leads to Dynamo Boy as the last member of the Legion (despite the fact that we have not seen Supergirl yet).
Dynamo Boy provides an infodump on how he screwed up the Legion…
…and scheming to create the Legion of Super-Villains.
To be continued, hopefully in a story that doesn’t suck.
I’m not holding my breath on that.
Legion significance: 0.25/10
Eyeful Ethel isn’t worth a full point.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
I was honestly tempted to make it a 11/10, but it’s only unusually high for the Legion: for DC it’s a rather typical 10/10.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
What do you think? THIS STORY SUCKS.
We are legion
19 Legionnaires active in this story (including Dynamo Boy)
1 not shown but officially member: Supergirl
1 reserve member: Bouncing Boy
2 resigned member: Dream Girl, Command Kid
1 honorary member: Elastic Lad
How much Legion is too much?
No clue how to count the number of active members, but with Dynamo Boy the total number of characters who have been members is 24.
I’m not taking the various expulsions into account because you’re not going to believe for a second that any of this is going to stick.
Legion rejects: 22
Adding Eyeful Ethel and the Mess.