JIMMY OLSEN 64 (1962)
by Leo Dorfman & John Forte
Why does this keep happening!? This is the second alien princess after Jimmy Olsen 59 falling in love with him!
As it’s often the case, we begin with Lucy ditching Jimmy for someone else.
Since I doubt Lucy can dance the twist wearing that dress, I guess that by “twisting” she means something else.
Meanwhile, Jimmy stays home with his radio and some 1964 fanservice.
The radio picks up some weird signals, and a voice instructs him to build something.
This may sound like the plot of Jimmy Olsen 10 (which was when he build a space radio to talk with aliens).
But no, this is to teach him how to build a device that will make him super-smart.
Nice try, but Jimmy’s already had that power. TWICE. See issue 22 and issue 24.
Jimmy uses his newfound technical prowess to turn the TV into an intergalactic communicator.
At least Jimmy doesn’t completely waste his powers this time.
Apparently if you’re smart enough you can open any vault if you just do math.
Jimmy’s heroic deeds make an impression on Lucy, but the alien princess (who OF COURSE is watching everything he does) starts to get jealous.
But if you think SHE is creepy: Jimmy has a room full of Lucy portraits.
Jimmy is interested in Allura only because he wants to make Lucy jealous, since Allura is supposed to be almost supernaturally beautiful.
However Jimmy has played so many games on Lucy that she doesn’t believe him for a second!
And even after Jimmy uses his new genius to win several prices at the local carnival, Lucy still treats him… well pretty much the exact way she’s always treated him, honestly.
Jimmy has lost his patience with Lucy, but luckily for him Allura has found a way to take him to his planet… where he would have super-powers because they have two suns.
I would laugh at this, but Triplicate Girl of the Legion can split into three bodies because her planet has three suns, so who knows?
This is all Jimmy needs to completely abandon Earth.
Once Jimmy gets there, he’s amazed by the fact that everyone on this planet is in perfect shape.
Remember this panel. It’ll be hilarious soon.
Jimmy has super-powers here. Nothing to add to the list since he’s had Superman’s powers plenty of times already.
But enough about that: it’s time to meet Allura in person!
Except…
Yep. Jimmy Olsen is rejected because he’s too small for the princess.
Remember when I told that panel would become hilarious soon?
Yes, Jimmy landed near “infants”.
DOES THIS LOOK LIKE AN INFANT TO YOU!?
Jimmy is returned to Earth, where he discovers that he has lost the device that made him super-smart.
This is pathetic even for Jimmy Olsen, and that’s saying something!
Historical significance: 0/10
You might think that a planet of giants where humans get super-powers would be used again, if you knew nothing about the Silver Age.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
One of the easiest calls on the subject.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
HAHAHAHAHAH
Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
Not realizing that the planet was inhabited by giants even when flying through the city. Also consider that Jimmy’s intelligence was boosted during his trip, meaning that he’s typically even dumber than that.
Superpowers count: 30
It’s pretty telling that Jimmy gets both super-intelligence and Superman’s powers, and this doesn’t move the superpower count at all.
Interesting letters: oh good, now they’re spreading into the real world too?
