SUPER-VILLAIN TEAM-UP #5 (1976)
by Steve Englehart & Herb Trimpe
Cover by Rich Buckler
Remember that Doom and Namor have been allies and reluctant friends for the three first issues of the series, only to get angry at each other for poorly explained reasons?
That made more sense than this comic.
We begin at the Baxter Building with Namor crashing through a window. Must be a Tuesday.
In this period, Namor has lost the ability to breathe air on his own; that’s why he’s wearing a costume instead of a speedo, and the suit has now been damaged.
He’s in bad shape, and after Mr. Fantastic cures him by putting him in an aquarium he explains why.
Get this: after issue 4 ended with both Doom and Namor going their separate ways, apparently Doom tracked down Namor days later to blast him with a ray that disabled his suit.
Doom is so eager to get Namor’s allegiance that not only he threatens to let him die, but he also threatens to destroy Atlantis if he doesn’t comply.
AND THEN HE DESTROYS ATLANTIS.
It’s currently uninhabited because the Atlanteans are in suspended animation, but… I don’t buy it.
The guy who lost on purpose to save his art collection just blows up the ruins of Atlantis because he can’t get ONE GUY to swear allegiance to him!?
And if THAT wasn’t enough, Doom is STILL blackmailing Namor!
Come on, this is ridiculous! What does Doom expect Namor to say!?
“I know you almost killed me twice and blew up my kingdom, but sure I’ll be your ally and follow your orders, I’m definitely not going to kill you in your sleep at the first occasion.”.
Doom then projects his hologram into the Baxter Building to challenge Richards to cure Namor, which he accepts.
I’m sure Reed won’t have trouble curing you, Namor. Just ask the Thing.
Also: remember issue 3 where we had a complex relationship between the people of Latveria and Doom? Yeah, we’re not doing that anymore.
This is Doom at his most stereotypical.
Back at New York, while Mr. Fantastic is busy trying to cure Namor, the Human Torch finds someone lurking near the Baxter Building… the Shroud!
He has an asbestos cape (WTF?) and apparently he can fly (double WTF?)
Or maybe he’s just drawn that way and he’s actually just knocking out the Human Torch with weird acrobatics (triple WTF?)
If you’re unfamiliar with the Shroud… this will actually make MORE sense than if you know about him, because none of what you have seen will be part of his abilities.
We’ll learn more about the Shroud in future stories, but in the meantime Namor is pissed off because Mr. Fantastic hasn’t cured him yet! And everyone is always shouting in this comic!
Namor doesn’t have time for your team-ups! More smashing! More yelling!
“You don’t understand! I didn’t fail to miraculously resolve everything behind the scenes on purpose! This time! Let’s yell some more!”
“It doesn’t matter! I will now escape to my death even if it makes no sense! I must yell this!”
“Witness the final stupid act of a very stupid person: to create an unnecessary and disappointing cliffhanger!”
Then Doom just teleports Namor to Latveria.
Told you it’d be disappointing.
But that’s okay because now the Fantastic Four decide they care!
YOU LITERALLY HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING THIS ENTIRE STORY!!!
Doom significance: 0/10
The Shroud will have some significance, but since he barely has a cameo here…
Silver Age-ness: 6/10
Random asbestos! Random chance encounters! Both Doom and Namor forgetting about their characterization! More yelling!
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
This is bad. Really, really bad. There isn’t a single likeable or even interesting character, Doom has regressed significantly in his characterization, and of course there is the constant! Yelling! By! Everyone! For! No! Freaking! Reason!
It was a Doombot all along
No clear indication but this Doom is so over the top in the wrong way that I wouldn’t mind to learn he was a robot.
Take over the world & Destroy the FF!
“Today Sub-Mariner, tomorrow the world” means that he’s not trying to conquer the world THIS time. And bizarrely enough he doesn’t want to destroy the Fantastic Four, just embarrass Reed.
Crazy tech
Doctor Doom has a gun that disables Namor’s costume, because of course he does.